To still be angry that I was refused gas & air in labour?

[DigestivesWithCheese]

I gave birth to twins two weeks ago. I was booked for a c-section because I've had two previously (one for failure to progress, one elective) and was not planning to labour naturally for any length of time so I hadn't made a birth plan or discussed pain relief options.

I was 36 weeks & was in hospital being checked because I'd been having regular, 10 minute apart contractions for two days. I had an internal exam and the Dr told me that my cervix was closed, long sand posterior (although it was soft), that labour was not imminent & that I could go home. Ten minutes later, my waters broke. I was on the ante-natal ward, not delivery.

Five minutes after my waters broke, I had an extremely painful contraction. They started coming 4/5 mins apart & after two of them I knew I needed pain relief and asked for gas & air. The midwife said no because I had just been checked & was not in active labour. They knew my waters had just broken. They kept coming and each one was stronger to the point where I felt like I was being tortured & electric shocks in my legs . I started to vomit with every one due to the pain.

With every contraction I made my way to the midwives office & BEGGED for gas & air. They kept saying it was too early & telling me I had to stay on my bed. After about half an hour the anaesthetist arrived to do a pre-op, so I begged him instead! He said that he didn't mind at all if I had gas & air and he went to talk to the midwives. They said I was allowed pethidine instead - this made me dizzy but it didn't touch the pain.

My DH arrived & found me on my own, vomiting & unable to speak, with contractions every 3/4 minutes. I was on a ward with other women who were waiting to he induced so it can't have been pleasant for them! The pain was completely out of control & I can still remember it quite clearly. DH went to speak to the midwives & they agreed to call a Dr.

When the Dr arrived, it was two hours after my waters had broken. She checked me & I was 6/7 cm and then I was told I could have the gas & air while they got me ready for the c-section! By this time, I was so out of my mind with the pain that the gas & air didn't even help. The half hour while waiting to go to theatre was horrendous and I was fighting anyone who tried to touch me . I had gas & air when I was in early labour with my son & it was brilliant. I believe if I'd been given it when I first asked, I could have stopped the fear & pain building up so much and I would have been able to stay on control for much longer.

I know it was only 2 hours that I was refused for but I am still thinking about it every day! Knowing that they had it there but were refusing to give it to me was just horrible and I felt totally helpless. The midwife kept saying that she would get into trouble if she gave it to me "too early" but it was so obvious I was in labour that I find it hard to believe that. They kept telling me that I needed to calm down . It just seems so for patients to be left in pain, in a hospital when they are asking for pain relief that could help.

Yanbu, something similar happened to me. It was my first baby too and I was alone and utterly petrified as the pain was so bad but the midwives kept insisting I wasn't in labour so I had no idea what was happening. Eventually after much begging, they checked me and then rushed me up to the labour suite with lots of apologies .

My experience with DS1 was a bit similar. After 48hr stop-start back-to-back labour I was given syntocinon with no pain relief. Eventually the midwife showed DP the G&A as I was so out of it with the pain. I couldn't get enough of a break in the 3-4hrs of this torture to work out how I should use it. I must have been biting on the mouthpiece though because afterwards I had such an aching jaw (amongst other more serious stuff).

I felt utterly traumatised & now nearly 5yrs later, wish I had complained so I would also recommend you do now if you can find the energy so you don't keep thinking "I should have..., what if...." etc later on.

I had a shit experience with dc1 and it was the only reason for me choosing homebirth for dc2. I told my mw I would rather give birth unassisted than be treated like a piece of meat again. It still makes me so angry that I was degraded like that and reduced to sobbing and begging before anyone would even look at me. I had internal examinations without my consent and at one point a roomful of people who hadn't introduced themselves while I was in stirrups. I was regarded as a nuisance and laughed at for crying and I'm still so fucking angry about it.

Op please complain! There are too many of us being treated horrendously when we are at our most vulnerable.

That's terrible. Why on earth do they deny pain relife to so many women? I'm so shocked at the amount of people on this thread who've gone through this. I hope you complain and kick up a stink OP.

I had adequate pain relief fwiw, but that was 14 years ago! I've also had adequate pein relief for any injurie, medical conditions or operations. Aren't women in labour treated to the same consideration these days? Wtf is going on?

Yanbu,

Please complain.

I don't understand why these days they only do a internal check every 4 hours or why they don't listen to the woman.

Kate I too chose a home birth next time around because I'd have been better off alone. They did f all to help but totally negated me, tore my self esteem aware and confused me.

I complained, PALS the lot. I also had counselling for PTS due to my 'care' not the birth. I still feel angry as I say, 20 yrs on.

Home birth - allowed a midwife in 20 mins before the birth and it all went very well. No pain relief whatsoever and it was also back to back. This time I chose to manage my pain relief myself. No expectations and no one present making me feel so awful.

Apologies to midwives out there who are heroic and work in poorly staffed units. I hope you read and listen though rather than writing us off as hysterical women. We deserve more and your colleagues caused these posts.

Is 'being jaded' by watching pain alot an issue? Does it desensitise you to empathy?

Is 'being jaded' by watching pain alot an issue? Does it desensitise you to empathy?

They'll make sure you're comfortable if you go in with a broken leg or have an operation, or anything else for that matter.

Op, and all the others, you have my sympathies. I was in labour with ds for 65 hours. I kept asking for pain relief, and was offered codine, to which I reeact badly to. They refused to give me an alternative, so I took it out of desperation. Cue lots of dizziness and feeling sick. (and it didn't help the pain!) I eventually managed to convince them to give me diamorphine, which helped. However, I then had a reaction to that, and spent the whole day being sick. Luckily, when I got sent down to the delivery room to be induced, I got a lovely midwife, who agreed with me when I said they weren't going to induce me without giving me an epidural.

Yanbu, I am sorry you were treated so poorly and agree with other posters that you should complain via pals.

I am still very bitter about my experience on the ante natal ward when dd was born in April. I was having contractions from around 3am, every few minutes and they were very strong and extremely painful. I remember pacing up and down the corridor and ward kitchen on my own because I didn't want to wake anyone, and the midwives walking past me making themselves tea and toast, and basically ignoring me. All they would offer me is paracetamol which obviously didn't even touch the pain.

I wish I had been more assertive at the time, fortunately the midwives on the labour ward were much better.

The stories on here are awful. I can only hope that any mws lurking on here take it all on board and think about the way they care for women. I understand why some people are reluctant to complain - I gave up on a complaint around ds's birth because I was so upset by the series of officious and patronising responses basically blaming me for what happened. I wish I had pursued it tbh.

I didn't get my gas and air for dc2 because I was having a home birth and they forgot to order it - the procedure is it is usually sent by taxi soon after the mw arrives - it did actually arrive a little before the birth but I was too far gone to be able to coordinate the breathing etc. I was ok without it, but would have much preferred to have it.

mummytokatie, "When I went to NCT classes one of the things that the leader said was that research on birth experience has shown that how you see your birth afterwards has nothing to do with how long it was or how much pain you are in but whether you felt cared for."

That is really interesting. Just this morning, I described the stillbirth of my DD as a "lovely experience all things considered" so I can see why it might have merit. In our case, it wasn't unexpected but obviously very sad, but we felt so looked after by everyone caring for us that they made it a MUCH easier experience than it might have been.

As for MWs, there is MASSIVE understaffing and often they just don't enough time to give the care that they would like to give to women and most of them are very good. For the sake of the good ones, please do complain about problems because, as someone said earlier, management don't listen to clinicians but might do something about complaints from patients.

I am amazed at all these storied. My own birth experience was over 20 years ago. I had twins and was booked for an epidural so I could give birth vaginally but they could whip them out quickly if anything went wrong. This was all agreed with the consultant beforehand and was in my notes.

Come the day I went into labour and the midwives at the hospital seemed to want to delay the epidural until it would have been to late, maybe because they disapproved of them, I don't know. In the end we had to insist, luckily my DH took over here, and we got it done just in time.

They were completely wrong about how far labour had progressed, and their predictions of when the babies would be born were way out.

I would have no confidence being in these women's hands again. Luckily the rest of the medical team were great and we all survived.

The day shift afterwards were fine but the night shift were terrible too after the birth. I wish I had complained too but I was just too overwhelmed by it all.

I think there's an underlying belief that pain during childbirth is 'natural' and that a virtuous woman can bear it and won't make a fuss out of it. What a load of cobblers though. That's like saying that someone who's just lost a limb should 'deal with it' and shut up.

Fwiw, I had to have emergency surgery and they didn't have time to get the pain relief working by the time I came round. It was absolute agony, just like child birth actually. However, they made every effort to ensure that I was comfortable as quickly as possible.