To be astonished by the school's reasoning?

[Paribus]

This is my first post in AIBU so please be gentle :).
My DD (just turned 4) had an assessment in one of the private schools in London in order to qualify for a place there next year. She had dyspraxia which was recently reclassified as a speech delay and after a year long therapy her speech is now at age appropriate level, and her understanding and motor issues was never a problem to start with. All of the above is reflected in the numerous reports we supplied the school with.
She was refused the place because (and I quote the registrar) "of the learning difficulties she had in the past". Dyspraxia is not a learning dufficulty and she does not have this dx anymore- but it's not just that, how about inclusion, how about "we have all the support you might possibly need" speech we had in the opening day from the head of reception, how about school's ethos "we treat everyone equally"????
Am I right in thinking that the reason given for refusal is really, really horrible and is in fact asking for a letter to the head of the school? And to Daily Mail ?
TA.

You can do both. Id be incandescent. But ask yourself this: if the school thinks its ok to write this kind of letter, why on earth would you want your child to spend 6 hours a day in that environment?

YANBU.

I would try to arrange a meeting with the head teacher; that sounds horribly unfair on your poor DD.

Perhaps avoid the DM though... :o

I think that is really horrible. And surely of dubious legality?

I have seen dyspraxia referred to as a specific learning difficulty and I think that's normal, but it seems completely off to refuse her for that reason, especially if the diagnosis has changed anyway!

Ya n bu :(

I was told to send my son to a boarding school by the head of his prep. His SN was ignored and put down to the fact that I was a single mother. I removed him, he's now being assessed for dyspraxia. The prep school's way of helping him was to tell him off constantly.

I think you need to look for a different school, somewhere nurturing and accepting.

YANBU. hideous. But I agree with pp that I wouldn't want my child to attend a school in which children are not treated equally. So much for "every child matters", which is why, as a teacher, I wouldn't ever send my children to a private primary school (secondary potentially a different matter, judging by the state of schools round here... But primary schools are mainly fab)

Vile in the extreme. I'm sorry that you and your lovely daughter were treated so shoddily. Be glad you learned what a shit school it is via their horrible honesty, though. Now you know that it is discriminatory and non-inclusive with the kind of values that you wouldn't want any child exposed to, let alone your own beloved child. Good luck finding a good school for her.

Had the same a few years ago when we looked into sending DD3 to a private school. She had dyspraxia and dyslexia and we were told that we would have to pay the salary for a helper for her as well as the school fees, which would have been a ridiculous amount of money!!

As Enjoy says, though. I would want my DCs to go to a school that actually wanted them there and welcomed them whether they have a Dx or not! i would look around for a more welcoming school, it may not be one with the best results, or anything, but caring for your DD needs to be yours and their top priority. Good luck!

Thank you so much for your answers. We are expats so I was not sure what to expect- but felt that the reason given was unbelievably rude.
We don't want her to go to that school anymore, that's for sure.

You've had a lucky escape. Continue your search for a school that treats all their students as individuals, as they should be.

I thought private schools were selective though and as such can pick and choose who they like.

I would move on. I have has rudeness from a specific private school re SN. They are ignorant and stupid, that's their choice - I visited many better and the fact that they are so stupid adds their name to the list of car schools, to be avoided.

I would be so, so tempted to run that letter past a solicitor because it sounds as though discriminatory to me. I thought it was illegal for businesses to discriminate on grounds of disability.

Not that I'd want a child of mine to go to a school like that, but I would thoroughly enjoy winding up the ignorant and pompous HT.

I went to a private primary in London where my dyslexia and dyspraxia were incredibly well catered for and I had instant access to professional support that would have taken months if not years to get through a state school (my brother with ASD went to a state school in the same borough for a while so my family has experience of both).

Don't judge all private primaries by your experience at one. There are just as many non-inclusive state primaries where children with SEN are treated appallingly.

I would right a letter to the head and maybe your local paper.

Lucky escape re sending your DD there.

Blueemerald, may I ask you what primary did you go to ;)?
Thank you all for your kindness. Your replies mean so, so much.

"My DD (just turned 4) had an assessment in one of the private schools in London in order to qualify for a place there next year."
In all fairness, if your DD had to qualify then surely that means that the school is cherry-picking selective? And by definition, not interested in the slightest in inclusion, being supportive etc?

I'll PM you Paribus :)

I think the wording of the letter sounds discrimatory and it might be worth having a legal letter sent to them. As others have said it doesn't sound like the best school to send your DD to at all.

I will admit that I am anti private schools, I just think that if we really believe in equality/meritocracy then all of our children should have the same educational chances. So it might be worth you looking at good local primaries (you've only got about 24hours to put in your application though!)

I work in a great secondary school with an excellent SEN dept. Some of our students achieve way and beyond the expected levels due to the level of support they have.

If your DD is only just 4, I feel that is too young to give a diagnosis of dispraxia. Children reach different mile-stones at different times and I think any SEN diagnosis not related to behaviour shouldn't be given until at least 6.

The school are in breach of the Equality Act 2010.

Here

Whereyouleftit, 90% of private schools in central London have assessments prior to entry. At the same time, when you talk to them, they assure you that should your child need any support, be it SLT, OT or anything else, they can and will provide it. Why lie??
Blueemerald, thank you.