To be astonished by the school's reasoning?

[Paribus]

This is my first post in AIBU so please be gentle :).
My DD (just turned 4) had an assessment in one of the private schools in London in order to qualify for a place there next year. She had dyspraxia which was recently reclassified as a speech delay and after a year long therapy her speech is now at age appropriate level, and her understanding and motor issues was never a problem to start with. All of the above is reflected in the numerous reports we supplied the school with.
She was refused the place because (and I quote the registrar) "of the learning difficulties she had in the past". Dyspraxia is not a learning dufficulty and she does not have this dx anymore- but it's not just that, how about inclusion, how about "we have all the support you might possibly need" speech we had in the opening day from the head of reception, how about school's ethos "we treat everyone equally"????
Am I right in thinking that the reason given for refusal is really, really horrible and is in fact asking for a letter to the head of the school? And to Daily Mail ?
TA.

Tethersend, thank you so much for the link!

Tethersend is right, and I agree with the idea that you should consider it a lucky escape. Look for a truly inclusive school. Maybe consider the 10% who don't assess, they sound more flexible.

In the kindest possible way, why lie? Isn't it obvious? Because even the very elitist parents out there probably wouldn't be that thrilled with a speech along the lines of we don't want any riff raff, obscurities and those who can't just fall in with our teaching methods or fit with our particular ethos. I think even the BNP goes on about celebrating x rather than they want to exclude y, everyone knows the reality.

Can I just say OP that if your DD is only just 4 then the real impact of her issue may not be fully understood.

I dont mean it horribly but speak from experience. My son, at 4 entered school with a few 'niggles' (some following instructions & peers issues) and he had above average ability... within 2-3 years he was risk of exclusion, had leveled at 'average' attainment and was then making no progress. He has an ASD - high functioning with high intelligence - we are in our 3rd school (and looking good!).

Now your DD might fly with just the structure of school and positive support as this maybe something and nothing that she caught up with... However if it's not then getting the right support at the right time is hellish even in a school that has the experience and resources.

This school has possibly been in this situation before and want to avoid it though their approach is terrible. I think too the letter is discriminatory and worse doesnt not fully explain the reasoning and as such you can understand why they feel she is not suitable which in turn leaves you with bigger questions of what does she need? and where now?

Not sure if I would pursue it - I dont see what you would achieve at a time that you need to concentrate on finding a good school for her... perhaps revisit it in a few months?

Dayshiftdoris, I must say your post worried me- could you please elaborate? What issues may be overlooked? Was your DS dxed with ASD when he started school or did dx come later? I am asking because my DD was continuosly assessed by several neurologists, paeds and SLTs- they were and are all confident she had "just" dyspraxia, and only the oral part of it.

The private school our children attended broke the data protection act and put our child at risk, did they give a monkeys ? What could we do about it.
Unless you have a spare $20,000 lying around to pursue the matter your energies would be better focused on finding a nice school for her.

This sounds like a shit school OP, thank goodness your dc wont be going there!
That said it most certainly deserves a letter to whomever might listen, if only to protect those poor children who did get in.

if the school thinks its ok to write this kind of letter, why on earth would you want your child to spend 6 hours a day in that environment?

This!! Your DD has had a lucky escape. At least they didn't accept her and then show this attitude!!

Under the Equality Act 2010, it is unlawful for any education provider, including a private or independent provider, to discriminate between pupils on grounds of disability, race, sex, gender reassignment, pregnancy and maternity, religion or belief, or sex.

I get this. I live it because I work in Social Care. How is it therefore OK for schools to; be single sex; be a Catholic/CoE etc. school? Let's face it, independent schools select on results and money. Distasteful in my opinion. Of course they shouldn't discriminate based on disability but how it that worse than intelligence/sex/religion/money? Presumably any school that has an entrance exam is discriminating against children with LDs. On some level.

Ds goes to a private school and all I have to say is I take all the warm & fuzzy talks with a grain of salt!

YANBU but there is so much competition for places that they can be very choosy. I can't think that you would want to fight it, I wouldn't want my DC in a school with that attitude- and to be paying for it!! As MammaTJ says, put it down as a very lucky escape.

Parbus

Sorry Sunday is rugby morning!

Please don't worry - it sounds like she has had a lot of input (whereas all my son had was a hearing test!) and been seen by the right people.

However all I was saying that is not a case of them 'overlooking' something but that because she is 4 she has not really been tested by school... her responses to her peers, how she will respond to learning, how she will adapt to school is not known.

And that is true for ALL four year olds.... most of which fit in just fine and with no issues what so ever. And yes some of them may have needed input in preschool.

My son had a 'reputation' for not following instructions, he didnt really have friends and his behaviour was a concern... there was nothing at any level to really make them look at him closely

He was Yr2 before he even ticked enough boxes to see an ed psych and eventually (and very quickly) was diagnosed with ASD. By then he was really struggling. I dont feel he was overlooked - it was more that he hit the level where his functionality was out-stripped by what was expected.

With hindsight the signs were there and often are with children diagnosed later and I think this school is looking for red flags in children to avoid having to deal with a potential problem in the future...

A problem that may well not even be there and I would argue is less likely to occur because your DD has been assessed and had intervention that will have given her greater skills than most of her peers... And because she's been seen she's on the radar for further intervention rapidly should she need it...

The ironic thing is this... there is a distinct possibility, given the letter they send you, that had I applied for my son they would have offered him a place (high intellect on the 85% centile) as there was no 'previous learning difficulty'....
So not only are they discriminatory but the methods they use to discrimate are not even effective!

If your DD is only just 4, I feel that is too young to give a diagnosis of dispraxia. Children reach different mile-stones at different times and I think any SEN diagnosis not related to behaviour shouldn't be given until at least 6.

I don't agree, surely it is key to access support as early as possible.

OP - yanbu.

It hurts when your child is rejected. I think that selective education at four years old is hideous. The children are all too little to be put through something like this. Assessing ablity at four years old is inaccutate.

However both dypraxia and dyslexia are specific learning difficulties. It doesn't mean that your child is stupid, but it does mean that they may need more support to learn. Verbal dyspraxia causes more difficulties in the classroom than physical dyspraxia. Unlucky children with severe dyspraxia have issues ordering their thought processes.

Dyspraxia can vary considerally in severity. At one extreme a child needs special school, but some people with dypraxia can get straight As.

If this private school does not understand the difference between global and specific learning difficulites then its the wrong enviroment for your daughter.

Most private schools by nature are selective - and use one reason or another. The less selective ones tend to be the more inclusive ones with better pastoral care and a warmer ethos. Take a fresh look at whats out there.

Yanbu but agree probably lucky escape
If it makes you feel any better my dyspraxic ds got the highest first in his year at Cambridge last year.
They don't know what they are missing, find somewhere lovely that appreciates her for who she is .