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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For wanting dp to come home.

30 replies

outnumberedbythree · 12/01/2013 18:24

I've just called dp and asked him to come home dcs are at mils and i haven't seen him since thursday i'm not feeling all that well and tbh need a bit of a hug and he just told me hes not coming home because he doesn't want to catch what i have as he has just got over it and was quite nasty about it i really feel like crying! aibu for wanting him to not only come home because i'm sick but because we have no dcs and would be nice just to have an evening together as we don't have them very often.

OP posts:
Isityouorme · 12/01/2013 18:26

Do you not live together? Why haven't you seen him since Thursday?

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/01/2013 18:26

Ummm bit of both.

I can understand why you want him to come home but can also understand why,if it's contagious,he's not keen on the idea of getting it again so soon after getting over it.

MikeLitoris · 12/01/2013 18:27

Where is he? And where has he been since Thurs?

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/01/2013 18:29

Has he been at your MIL with the dc's since Thursday? That's what I assumed on first reading?

Original poster
outnumberedbythree · 12/01/2013 18:33

No we don't live together and he is at mils he came and picked up dcs to take them down there i don't now why i haven't seen him i've been asking him to come home all week.

OP posts:
mumagain38 · 12/01/2013 18:34

he should get home and stop being a wimp! I bet u looked after him when he was ill! Plus he will have formed some risistance against the strain of what ever u have as he has just had it! remember this next time he is ill and say'' im leaving as i dont want to catch what u have!

Original poster
outnumberedbythree · 12/01/2013 18:36

Sorry lost half of that post.

He has his own place because we broke up then got back together but have only seen him twice this week and i thinki'm starting to look desperate asing him to come back and i only have a bad cold so it's not like its going to kill him.

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 12/01/2013 18:36

What is it that's wrong OP? Health wise I mean? I can understand someone who has just for over noro virus not wanting to expose themselves to the risk of getting it again. Or an athsmatic not wanting to risk a cold/flu because it really is horrendous for them.

Can you give him a call and talk about how you've been left feeling?

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/01/2013 18:36

X post

Original poster
outnumberedbythree · 12/01/2013 18:37

Yes mumagain i did and i just told him that am feeling very sorry for myselfSad

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 12/01/2013 18:38

Oh...unless he is asthmatic,I think he is being a bit mean in not wanting to look after you a bit or even just spend a bit of time with you.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 12/01/2013 18:39

YAB a bit U, its horrible feeling ill but I can see why he doesn't want to catch your bug again, and I can't imagine you would be spending a nice evening together if you are coughing and sneezing everywhere. Hope you feel better soon (and be sure to stay out of his way when he is ill in future).

Numberlock · 12/01/2013 18:41

Sounds like the illness is an excuse. How much 'back together' are you if he still has his own place and you've only seen him twice this week and feel bad for asking him to come round. What was the reason you broke up?

Original poster
outnumberedbythree · 12/01/2013 18:42

No he's not astmatic and i know its not going to be a very nice evening but still just someone to get me a hot toddy would be nice.

OP posts:
Original poster
outnumberedbythree · 12/01/2013 18:46

Together as much as you can be when not living with each other i suppose and one of the main reasons we broke up was because we didn't spend enough time together and he didn't really do much as a couple i just asked him if he wanted to go cinema and he just went into a rant about not planning things he makes me feel like i can't ask him things .

OP posts:
Numberlock · 12/01/2013 18:50

Sounds like you're better off without him. You've done the first stage by getting separate homes, I'd make it a permanent split now. You don't sound right for each other.

Have you talked about living together again at some point in the future?

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/01/2013 18:50

OP,it might just be because you're feeling a bit upset and are unwell.and he's still grumpy after being ill...but he sounds like he is being a bit of a knob here. Generally speaking.

BackforGood · 12/01/2013 18:52

YABU. How lovely to have the dcs looked after and the chance to go to bed with a lemsip and a good book if you are feeling unwell. Surely you can see it's not an attractive invitation to come round and sit with someone sniffing, coughing and spluttering all evening ?

Original poster
outnumberedbythree · 12/01/2013 18:59

Yes i agree he is being a knob but honestly things have improved alot he has had a bit of a tough week in his defence but thats no excuse really.

OP posts:
Original poster
outnumberedbythree · 12/01/2013 19:01

Like i said i can see where he's coming from its not going to be all rampent sex while we have no dcs but a cuddle would be nice like i said i gave him when her was here when he was ill.

OP posts:
Numberlock · 12/01/2013 20:08

So how is he spending his evening then?

PureQuintessence · 12/01/2013 20:12

I am sorry, but I dont think he is that much into you...

Original poster
outnumberedbythree · 12/01/2013 20:40

Probley at a friends or going home i don't know
pure you may be right.

OP posts:
Isityouorme · 13/01/2013 07:58

He clearly doesn't give two hoots about you..... Sally this is your wake up call. If he cared he would pop over, ask what he can do to help etc.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 13/01/2013 08:02

Sounds like he only wants to spend time with you wheb it is beneficial to hom - how thoughful and caring and selfless of this wonderful man Hmm

Sounds like you would be better off without him. Are they his kids? It seems like you are in a half relationship - you know you could be with someone who is actually prepared to commit.