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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have put a shite Primary school down as a preference....

38 replies

atacareercrossroads · 12/01/2013 15:32

because its a better calibre of shite than others in our catchment area?

Me and DP are disagreeing, he thinks by having it as a preference (even though its way down the list) we'll just get allocated a place there even if there is a place at one of our top preferences, because its practically on our doorstep. I wanted to put it down because there is one particular school where I would die on the spot if he gets offered a place (so most definitely not on our preferences), so at least by having this one its marginally better than the other one if we dont get in our top preferences after the sifting criteria has been done, and we can go on the waiting list for our preferred ones if Shite School doesnt work out. We do stand a chance of getting in one of our top preferences going off friends who have got their kids in them, so hopefully all this arguing with DP has been for nothing

As a side this has been the most stressful time of my life Sad and I dont know why, as Ive always thought that Secondary school was the most important 'bit'

OP posts:
manicbmc · 12/01/2013 15:34

You don't have to put more than one preference down, I think.

DamnBamboo · 12/01/2013 15:35

I only but down one school for my son. Having said that, I knew I'd get it. If there is a particular school ylou are trying to avoid, you are right to fill up your preferences which don't include this schoo

DamnBamboo · 12/01/2013 15:36

put down

OddBoots · 12/01/2013 15:37

Fill as many spaces as they let you in the order you would pick them. You really, really, really can't make your situation worse by doing so, they won't give you a place at your 3rd choice (for example) unless you fail to get one at your 1st then your 2nd.

I see why your DP is thinking that as it does feel psychologically like a worse looking list by your inclusion of an unwanted school but it is the best way to 'play the game' as it looks like you know.

Original poster
atacareercrossroads · 12/01/2013 15:38

yea we can just put one preference down, but from what I gather if we dont get in that one then we just get put in a 'pot' and allocated a place after others have been allocated according to preference, so we could get one miles away or even shiter than the two shite ones Im talking about.

We've got 6 preferenes down Blush

OP posts:
MrsBungleBear · 12/01/2013 15:43

YANBU.

I've just submitted my preferences too. We have up to 4. I went to a meeting with the LA and they strongly recommended using all 4 preferences so that you have more acceptable options if you don't get number 1. Most schools around here are oversubscribed. Some are shite, some are excellent.

It is a bloody stress! We have to wait until the 12th April here - it's like exam day results but nothing I can do to influence it!

Original poster
atacareercrossroads · 12/01/2013 15:43

*Odd& yes thats DPs issue, he just didnt even want to put it down as thats like admitting he wants that school IYSWIM.

Mind you he also thought that the other schools would see that we put SHite School down and then wouldnt offer us a place at theirs on principle Hmm

Whre he gets this crap from I dont know yes I do, he listens to people who dont know what they are on about

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 12/01/2013 15:43

They allow you 6? Wow, that's a lot. If you put down one and don't get it, you will inevitably end up with one that nobody else wants since they do try to allocate you a choice. You are doing the right thing

EllieorOllie · 12/01/2013 15:46

They will take into account the order of your preferences, so if there is a place available at your preferred schools you will be fine. I completely agree with your strategy of making sure you don't get into the really crap schools, we did exactly the same thing, put a slightly crappy but nice school as third choice so as to make sure we didn't get the two really crap schools locally. It is true about the pool, and a very scary prospect.

OddBoots · 12/01/2013 15:47

At least you can assure him that the schools are not told what other schools are on your list.

EllieorOllie · 12/01/2013 15:49

Oh and the schools themselves have no input (unless they're a particular type of C of E) so your DH doesn't need to worry about that!

dreamingofsun · 12/01/2013 15:50

if you fail to get a place at your 1st or 2nd choice and don't put a 3rd choice they will make the choice for you. my guess is that would be the least popular school in the area, as others would have specified the most popular on their forms

Original poster
atacareercrossroads · 12/01/2013 15:51

Damn yes we are allowed quite a few preferences compared to other LAs from what I have seen, possibly as its quite a large area with lots of schools so they have to give more preferences, thats my reckoning anyway.

Got to wait until the 16th April here. Gin a plenty on that evening either way I think.

Yes Ellie the thought of just being shoved in that pool of people is pretty nerve wracking, I guess there is still a chance as birth rates are pretty high. Im being realistic about this but DP thinks Im just doom and gloom, which I guess I am a bit Confused

OP posts:
CelticPromise · 12/01/2013 15:55

You're doing the right thing. The schools each allocate according to their criteria and they don't even find out your order of preference unless you get into more than one school.

We have six preferences too, I haven't even visited six schools. I've put down random local ones fifth and sixthon the grounds that if DS doesn't get into our preferred school I don't want to drive across the borough.

Original poster
atacareercrossroads · 12/01/2013 16:03

I haven't visited the schools. Feel a little reckless, but I know their reputations and the visits are all a bit planned I think so you never see the reality anyway. Plus I couldn't get to a single one of the open days anyway.

OP posts:
BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 12/01/2013 16:11

I did this.

First 2 preferences were the schools I wanted and then it was a choice of 4 other schools for the final 3rd place.

I put down what I believed to be the least crap, but still would not have sent DD to.

Guess what...that was the school DD was given.

I was very upset, told there was no hope of appeal for various reasons.

So, I thought I will give it a go and ultimately if it is as hideous as others say it is, I can move her.

In Year 1 Ofsted rated it as Outstanding. She is now in Year 4, it is the greatest school on the planet I exaggerate but it is in a 'deprived' area, high unemployment rates, large council estate and still has a terrible reputation by those who don't know/are basing their opinions of times gone by when it was a terrible school.

I heard that last intake they could have filled Reception class 3 times over.

So, my advice - go into the school, look around and don't listen to gossip. Form your opinions on fact, not hearsay (such as I did and the hearsay was wrong)

Ironically, my first choice school is currently in special measures and various issues relating to teachers being sacked for misconduct Shock. Again, it still has a good reputation by those who remember it of old (ie their children went there 20 years ago).

Facts are your friend Smile

Original poster
atacareercrossroads · 12/01/2013 16:41

Brian - that rings a bell, although I wish mine was 'past' hearsay. I have several relatives who's kids go there and are in waiting lists to get out. They honestly are Confused as to why it got good in the latest ofsted inspection, although to be fair it is a lot better than it was. Mind you it might be just right for Ds. I'm fairly alright with it if he gets that one. If its awful ill try and get him out, if its ok then all good. Ilk prob worry more about secondary schools

OP posts:
Tanith · 12/01/2013 23:23

I think the current advice is to select at least one school near to you that you're pretty sure of getting into, or risk being allocated a place from those left over: probably at a school miles away with an equally poor reputation.

tiggytape · 12/01/2013 23:33

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happynewmind · 12/01/2013 23:35

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happynewmind · 12/01/2013 23:38

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nodilemma · 12/01/2013 23:39

YANBU! Put it down. Last year we got no school place offered at first even though we put down 6 realistic choices (including local shite school!). You don't want to go through that stress let me tell you.

There is such a crunch for primary school places you are better with the crap one you know, that you have a reasonable chance of getting into, than the worse crap one miles away that you don't know, that you get allocated. Trust me on that!

ReallyTired · 12/01/2013 23:43

I have done the same thing. I have one of the worse secondary schools in the county down as my fourth preference. My feeling is that if my son is going to go to a shit school I want the shit school to be in easy walking distance.

Choosing a primary is less scary than secondary as there are more choice of primaries and its easier to change primary if the school is a nightmare.

Fakebook · 12/01/2013 23:52

Put it down, but in the additional comments, list reasons why you don't want him to go there. I did this with Dd's application. We got our first choice that was slightly outside the catchment area.

MerryCouthyMows · 13/01/2013 00:27

You are doing the right thing. I'm nail biting for Secondary results until March 1st. We had to hand the forms in in October. Shock

Choice one was the Grammar he really wants, and has a borderline chance of getting into. Choice two the Grammar in the next town over that he hasn't a snowball's chance of hell of getting into (both need to be on the form in case of appeal though.)

Choice three is a definite - my closest school AND a sibling link. I then just filled in the other 3 spaces with the next closest school, and then the two least shit schools out of the remaining four.

I'm glad that I don't have to do it again until the end of 2014. Unfortunately that year I will be doing both a Primary application (with complications from SN's and multiple life threatening allergies) for DS3 AND a Secondary application (with complications from SN's and physical disabilities) for DS2.

I think by April 2015 I will have bitten my fingers down to the bone, gone completely grey and be wibbling in the corner...