to have put a shite Primary school down as a preference....

[atacareercrossroads]

because its a better calibre of shite than others in our catchment area?

Me and DP are disagreeing, he thinks by having it as a preference (even though its way down the list) we'll just get allocated a place there even if there is a place at one of our top preferences, because its practically on our doorstep. I wanted to put it down because there is one particular school where I would die on the spot if he gets offered a place (so most definitely not on our preferences), so at least by having this one its marginally better than the other one if we dont get in our top preferences after the sifting criteria has been done, and we can go on the waiting list for our preferred ones if Shite School doesnt work out. We do stand a chance of getting in one of our top preferences going off friends who have got their kids in them, so hopefully all this arguing with DP has been for nothing

As a side this has been the most stressful time of my life and I dont know why, as Ive always thought that Secondary school was the most important 'bit'

There seems to be a huge amount of angst applying for schools in England.
It all sounds hugely stressful!

I didnt my DD going to the closest school to us, i choose the school in the next village and we got it, just put the ones you like in the order you want them, thats what i had to do.

secondary school applications are much much worse...

also i only got 3 choices.

Its very very stressful OP

I got to the point where I would have offered sexual favours for a school place at my 1st choice...

Then he got it!

And by Year 2 he was out of there after no support and 6 months later he was diagnosed with ASD

Thats when I discover the bit of the 'excellent' reputation this school had that is unspoken...

An excellent school, steeped in tradition and values that nurture all the children that fit in a neat box and if they don't then they ignore

I will offer no advice as I chose badly the second time as well as they then failed him and his 3rd school was one that I had never rated highly but is bloody excellent

I think with schools it horses for courses - what is right for one child (even within a family) might not be right for another...

I too have found that reputations are built from years gone by, a bit of OFSTED, the network of who works there and loves it and crucially - if there are a lot of local parents who went there themselves!!

As others have said you are absolutely right. Use all your choices and even if you think it is dreadful put your nearest community/catchment school as one of the choices (last if you really hate it!). Unless you have an option to home educate or use a private school you need a school and an awful school on your doorstep is better than an equally awful one that is miles away. I had a mild argument with someone about this today at a little kid's party actually! (It was filled with parents of 3 & 4 year olds thinking about school applications). The other parent didn't understand the system (understandably as it was her eldest child and she is not from this country) and had put down only 2 schools not very near to her as she didn't like the rest that she visited. I think she will be lucky to get a place tbh and was trying to persuade her to use her other choices as insurance but she just wasn't willing to hear it.

When I lived in a different area and chose schools for my ds1, I was advised that of the 3 choices always fill all 3 even if you put a school down ideally you wouldn't want. Because if you only put down the 2 you want, but you know they are very oversubscribed, if you don't get in you will automatically be given the school that is the least subscribed - ie the worst one!

dayshiftdoris, i had the exact same issue with ds1. He went to school at 4 years 4 months old to the best school in the area. We had moved house to within 200 metres of the school to get in. We had a much bigger mortgage.

However, because my ds1 was diagnosed by November in Reception with a severe language disorder, he was really let down by this oh so excellent school. All the school wanted were perfect children with high academic ability.

Apparently this is very common. We perceive a school as good by its academic results. On the whole the schools have far fewer SEN children or problem families. When they get SEN or problem families, those children are made to feel a problem rather than just part of life's rich tapestry that are to be fitted into school.

By the July of Reception the Head Master had told me ds1 would not be able to learn in mainstream. They wanted him to leave the school - he had just turned 5.

He is now 9. He really isn't that bad. Yes he has learning issues, but in every other way he is normal. He has a lot to add to a school in terms of attitude, lots of friends, good at sport etc.

Excellent schools regularly let down SEN.

I get a bit exasperated by posts like this (not your fault, OP): if DP wants to know the right answer, he should just read the admissions rules. The point is if you only put down one choice, and you don't get it, the local authority will shunt you off into the nearest school that has places, which will probably be the crap one you don't want. If you put the not-so-good school down as your third choice or whatever, they won't automatically offer it to you, because they try to give everyone their first choice, and then if that's full, they work down the list.

I have come across so many people over the years making mistakes like this because they haven't bothered to read the rules, and they do daft things like put the same school down first, second and third, or put down three schools they have no chance of getting into, and then express horror when they get offered a place in the crappy sink school.

Don't get me started about the conversation I butted into at a toddler group...

'Yeah well she'll get in yeah because she's at the nursery and she's had her name down since birth'

I pointed out that was wrong and was told that her HEALTH VISITOR had told her this. And anyway what would I know because mine wasn't old enough for school...

After explaining that the toddler was my friends, I had an 8yr old, was on my 3rd school and was a school governor... oh yes and had worked in health visiting so I could absolutely assure her she was wrong.

(I promise I was more diplomatic - I like my face unpunched!!)

Infact the school she was talking about was not a 'Village school wif only like 10 kids a year' but infact was oversubscribed and took 45 children a year into reception after an expansion some years ago...

She shit herself - had only chosen that one school, lived the other side of the town to where this school was and lived next door to a school she really, really did not want! Her child had a speech delay too and there was a nearish school she didnt even know of that had a specialism for speech!

Another mum then said she hadnt applied because her older kids already went to the school so didnt have to!!!

Seriously - these were not stupid people... they just hadn't read the literature and obviously listened to each others mis-information than finding out for themselves!!

By the end of the toddler group there were 3 mums frantically trying to find out if they could re-submit and 1 trying to find out where to get the forms (and I wasnt punched!!)

YADNBU. I have used all 6 preferences, with the closest school to us, which I really didn't like, as 6th, purely on the basis that if we don't get one of our choices, the schools which will be available for the primary equivalent of 'clearing' are far, far worse. Last year, one of the schools had 16 out 20 spaces given to siblings and I understand this year is also expected to be a big sibling year where we are, so I'm not taking any chances.