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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to rant about this?

70 replies

Jellykat · 11/01/2013 21:52

Aaaaaargh FFS!.. Some parents are shit!

So DS1 (15 tomorrow) has a friend (14) over to stay tonight, who has been throwing up for the last 2 hours, over EVERYTHING, ncluding a huge rug i now have to throw out because i can't wash it.

No, they haven't been drinking or smoking, he must have a bug.

Rant rant rant - his parents are staying with friends tonight, they have no mobile signal in the village where they're staying, the boy doesn't know the name of the friends, and they're not on FB..

What shit parents become totally uncontactable? I'm fucking furious, i've had a tough 3 days which included a mammogram for a suspicious lump, and starting a new job, now i've got nurse a sick teen who i've only met for 5 minutes.

His parents are crap, and i'm gonna tell them so tomorrow!
AIBU?

OP posts:
TinyDancingHoofer · 12/01/2013 01:01

*uncontactable

DSM · 12/01/2013 01:06

Oh god coola - there have been times where I have been on a night out, in a bar with no signal on my phone. DS would be looked after by my parents or DP if I was with friends. None of them would 'know' where I was, as I don't update them every time I move to a different bar.

Therefore, in an emergency, I am uncontactable. The police would not be able to find me either.

So, I guess by your definition, I am a shit parent.

Startail · 12/01/2013 01:09

Lots of places round here have shit mobile coverage.

He's 15 he ought to be able to manage feeling sick himself after the initial surprise.

Original poster
Jellykat · 12/01/2013 01:12

DSM The friends where they're staying must have a landline, or a mobile that is on a network that receives a signal in that village. They could've given him that number, or at least the name of who they're staying with.

Leaving your DS with your parents or DP and being uncontactable is very different from leaving him with a stranger.. i've never met them!

OP posts:
Startail · 12/01/2013 01:12

Hope the Mammogram is ok Thanks
I didn't mean to be quite that snappy. I just get driven mad by people who moan I don't get phone calls.
I do tell them to please try my land line first.

Original poster
Jellykat · 12/01/2013 01:13

Oh, and DSM i'm in Pembrokeshire, there are loads of villages around the Preselis without signals for some networks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellykat · 12/01/2013 01:17

Oh thank you Startail just waiting for the results, but got a lot of support from some lovely MNers on the day Smile

OP posts:
DSM · 12/01/2013 01:18

Yeah, it's different, but he is 14. He's not a baby.

I'm not disagreeing with the fact that they probably should have left a home number for the friends they were visiting.

I just think that saying they are shit parents and arseholes is a bit unnecessary.

FlyingFig · 12/01/2013 01:28

Good luck for the mammogram, hope all is well Smile

I bet the parents are totally oblivious to the fact their son is ill and will be mortified when they find out he's been so poorly and ruined a rug to deal with

It does make me think about being young myself and the fact my mam didn't have a mobile phone when I stayed at friend's houses (she just had to trust I was where I said I was at). I remember her collecting me from a friend's house and I'd had an allergic reaction to the family soap - I'd spent the whole day covered in a red, angry rash and lumpy hives from head to toe, waiting for my mam to pick me up, as arranged!

Original poster
Jellykat · 12/01/2013 01:28

I do think they're shit parents.. because i've been a parent for 24 years, and have already done the teen years with DS1 and his myriad of mates, so think i'm in a reasonable position to know whats judged as 'the normal' proceedure for this age range.

OP posts:
DoodlesNoodles · 12/01/2013 01:30

They could easily have told their son where they would be and he forgotten. TBH that would have been my first thought rather than it being the parents fault.

The parents could be rubbish parents but not nessecerily. I would see how they react before having a rant at them.

DoodlesNoodles · 12/01/2013 01:31

Ps Hope mammogram is ok Thanks

Original poster
Jellykat · 12/01/2013 01:37

Oh x posted Flying apologies, my post was for DSM.

Thanks for the mammo support and Doodles too! I'm sure it'll be fine, have heard a lot of good outcomes in the past 3 days which helps lots.

Right the vom fest seems to have quietened down, and he has a large bucket, so may creep off to bed..

OP posts:
IHeartKingThistle · 12/01/2013 09:06

Hope everything's OK this morning.

DSM · 12/01/2013 10:00

jellycat it's really sad that you are calling someone an arsehike and a shit parent just because you consider yourself to know better.

Well done to you for never having made a mistake, or been out of phone signal reach.

Anyway, I really do hope you think twice before giving the parents abuse when they kid gets picked up. God knows how awful a they'll feel when they find out what's happened, but I'm sure a dressing down from a smug know-it-all will really help.

WeAreEternal · 12/01/2013 10:14

Presumably though if they are staying over they know their friends and have been to the house before, so will have known that they don't get a phone signal there.
They also sent their DS to sleep over at someone's house who they have never met and who he had never met before, without leaving him with any way to contact them.

jellycat have the parents ever met DS2? Do they know where you live?

Even at 14 you should want to know where your child is, who is looking after him, so actually yes they are shit parents.

And I would give them the rug, and a bill for that and anything else that is ruined.

GirlOutNumbered · 12/01/2013 10:16

jellycat!if you know the procedure, maybe you should have asked for a landline and address. You should know mobile signal is rubbish down your way. Or if you are so hung up on never having met them, you should have asked that they drop him off or pop in before hand.

IloveJudgeJudy · 12/01/2013 12:19

Agree with DSM. I have three teenagers and have never had the parents' numbers when they've stayed. It's always been arranged between the DC. I suppose the friend could have given the number if they'd been ill, but it's all a bit hands-off in this house. I've never arranged games for them to play. I just say, "hello", let them in, feed them when we get fed, expect my DC to offer drinks, snacks, etc and say, "goodbye" when they go.

OP, I should think you probably won't have to throw out the rug. It could probably be cleaned; most things can be. Hope you're feeling better this morning.

StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo · 12/01/2013 13:29

Dont bin the rug borrow / rent a vax, ask the parents to cover the cost if you have the front.
Yanbu but i wouldn't be livid at 15 id of had a key and could of taken care of myself

LadyBeagleEyes · 12/01/2013 13:43

I think if it was that important to you, you would have made sure you had the contact details before he stayed.

HDee · 12/01/2013 13:47

Agree with DSM. The parents haven't done anything wrong. If anything, I'd be cross at the teenage boy for not getting to a toilet.

3littlefrogs · 12/01/2013 13:48

Did you actually speak to the parents to arrange the sleep over?

Is there a possibility that they may not know where he is?

It isn't unheard of for a 14yr old to make arrangements without telling his parents.

Proudnscary · 12/01/2013 13:49

Yabu and they are not shit parents, the boy is 14 not 4 and they have no signal - it happens and it's not a crime - but fully appreciate your frustration and exhaustion. Very best of luck with mammogram Thanks xx

SaraBellumHertz · 12/01/2013 13:54

It's unfortunate but I disagree the parents are shit.

The son has presumably forgotten where the friends live, it would be sensible to have a landline number. You know lots of people are regularly out of contact even in routine jobs. I can't contact any of my pilot or surgeon friends when they're working, nor my lawyer colleagues when they're in court. People survive.

That being said I'm sorry you're having a shit time - it sounds like now is not the right time for a sleepover.

TheMonster · 12/01/2013 13:59

At 14, can't he stay at home by himself?

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