Not allowed nuts in school

[pingu2209]

A friend of mine is really concerned about a letter home from school and subsequent conversation. Her dd is very fussy and will only eat peanut butter sandwiches. It is a long battle for her and the doctor is very concerned about her weight as she eats very very little. Has to be white bread, no crusts etc. I would go as far as to say it is an eating disorder - she is 9.

Her eating has to be tackled and the mum is getting help. So far the specialist help has said that it is a good idea for her to eat peanut sandwiches as this is pretty much all she will eat and will give her nutriants etc. They said the key is to increase the types of food, rather than take away what little she does.

But the school has said nobody is allowed any nuts, inc. peanut butter sarnies, in school as there are a handful of children with severe nut allergies - that could kill them.

My friend is at a loss. She asked whether her daughter could eat her sarnies away from the allergic children. The school has still said no, just incase there is peanut butter on her fingers etc that the allergic children could accidentally get it on them.

Who is being unreasonable?

Clouds and Holly, both cases need help, but ultimately I agree with Holly. It is a matter of life of death. It is difficult to manage an environment where there are so many allergy sufferers and so many allergens, but the individual school has to face the worse case scenario and therefore do it's best to prevent this. On the whole the nut/seed etc group is the biggest culprit, but parents of those with other fatal allergies - egg etc will have dealt with this on an individual basis. just because it is difficult to police this situation does not mean we should just give up and say 'anything goes' and just deal with the consequences.

Yes. I can appreciate that. It would be very worrying for a parent but worrying that your child could become very ill or die at school is more worrying (obviously). There is a scale of risk.

I can't believe I actually need to spell that out.

Holly, do you take your child out in public? Have you ever allowed your child to open a door in a public place, or sit on a public seat, or use public transport?

You are making this about how you feel, rather than what your child needs. If your child needed to be in a completely nut free environment, the experts in anaphylaxis would support nut bans in all public areas, but they don't even support it in schools. I notice that you have ignored that completely despite it being mentioned numerous times by numerous posters.

And if you are making it about your feelings, well, those don't come above the medical needs of a school child that happens not to be yours.

5madthings you know for sure theres ana children that attend the nut school?

Because you go on the allergy forum on here and ask any mum if they wiuld send their ana child to a nut school and they would all say no.

You think thats not the very first thing on an allergy mums mind when she finds her child a school? Umfortunately, its one of, if not the main thing an allergy mum has at the top of her list.

Im telling you right now, parents of nut allergic children willbe avoiding that school like a barge pole.

My friend's child is seeing a counsellor. She is also going to a specialist eating disorder service for children on the NHS. It is exactly their specialist advice that is telling my friend that it is essential that she has as fuss free eating and meal time experience. That she should, indeed must, eat the very few things she will (or she will become too weak to take part in school). Then they can start to add other foods to her diet.

All she will eat is peanut butter sandwiches - white bread, crusts cut off. She will also eat grapes, white ones with no seeds. There are 2 or 3 other things that I can't remember.

Totallyfrazzled, you have hit the nail on the head. The school has to do its best to prevent the worst case scenario. And if the best it can do does not include banning nuts for all children, but instead has to make one allowance to meet another child's medical needs, then that individual schools best might not be as good as the school down the roads best.

But they still have to meet the needs of both the children they have a duty of care to. You can't get away from that.

Bring buy, I have the same 'OCD' rituals as you but it's when I eat anything that contains wheat, eggs, and all the other foods dd can't have. I don't use tea towels. I just use kitchen paper so that I can bin it. I scrub surfaces with soap and clean with hot water, and then spray with Dettol anti bac surface spray, just in case.

Oh and if i eat a sandwich, I eat it over the sink, so that any bit that fall off go in there rather than on the floor, table, chairs etc.

I'm glad you posted that just now as it makes me feel better that I'm not the only one that is uber cautious.

Yes I do one is in the same class as my ds2, they recently went in a residential trip and the school chose somewhere that caters for allergies they have special training, I was with the girls mum when she was checking the precautions that would be taken,

And bruffin who has a child when suffers anaphylaxis has said the opposite to you and a search of the allergy boards on mnet shows lots disagree with the ban.

Clouds do not even try and psycho fucking analyse me.

My child is anaphylactic to many foods, allergic to over 30, not to mentiom environmental allergies and all the soaps, creams and all sorts

He is so bad, I cannot work. He gets higher rate DLA, he cannot get the MMR, every time he is ill he develops a new allergy and hes a tiny 19 months old.

YES we go out, but we cannot do much. Dont you dare try and fucking question my head state against bringing up an allergic child because YOU narrow minded know it all have NO FUCKING IDEA.

totallyfrazzled - when I was a child, it it wasn't a nut allergy then nothing was done. Even now, nut allergies seem to be treated as far more serious than other allergies (even if the outcome potential is the same).

This is why I get so cross, the double standard is unfair.

Bringnbuy, I cross posted with you. Sorry.

Of course parents take their severely allergic children out in public, clouds. You can't eliminate the risk entirely but a nut ban in schools means that the risk is minimized somewhat for parents who have to worry about this all the time.

holly - are you going through a hard time mentally with your child and allergys? i go through these phases. my dd has just turned 10. tonight she went to a brownie panto' and for the first time she wouldn't let me give her some chocolate to take with her. instead i gave her some money so she could buy her own trusting her to check the labels. i did a good job not focusing on it too much and relaxed. i have to, that or drive myself crazy. when we collected her turns out she just had two cans of diet coke :-) i can relax until the next time. my way round it is to focus on the children with far worse health issues. i tell my dd that too when she gets upset when she has to be left out ie friends walking home from school get an ice cream from outside school, seems somewhat minor when we look at it like that. hugs anyway if you are going through a tough one, to you and the other poster (sorry, can't remember your used name) who is going through an emotional phase

Holly, you're right. I really don't know whether nut bans work or not, but I did ask the question about nuts when looking at schools. It doesn't protect dd from playing with kids who came to school eating a peanut butter sandwich in the car for breakfast though.

Clouds you are either arguing for arguings sake, really quite stupid, or deliberately being a moron, Im yet to work out which.

I'm arguing for the sake of the person I love who has had severe food phobias that have affected every single day of that persons entire life and have caused irreversible damage.

Exactly the same as you are arguing on behalf of the person you love.

And you my love,have no fucking idea where I'm coming from either. The difference is that I am willing to consider a situation other than my own.

Clouds, every school has a duty of care regarding every single child. But as with all things there is a sliding scale, a child who is at risk from exposure to something which could cause death in a matter of seconds is not the same as one who life is being seriously disturbed by an eating disorder. Please do not think I am trivialising the latter.

There are a few other things the child can eat. She can have those at lunchtimes and eat the peanut butter sandwiches at home.

That way she has lunch and the children with nut allergies are not having their lives put at risk.

mum - our bathroom is directly off our kitchen. i always screw the pb lid back on with the hand that hasn't touched the knife. then i go into the bathroom and use loo paper to wipe the knife and then flush it away (with the left hand of course), then i wash the knife but having wiped and flushed away the look paper guarantees the knife is totally pb free!! i also have the ritual with the plate and washing my face, using separate soaps towel etc but it is worth it to keep dd safe AND for me to have some pb on toast, thickly buttered with thick lurpak :D

Totallyfrazzled, I can see that. I really can. But the point is that the school has to meet the needs of both children. And if those needs are in direct conflict with each other, then the school can only do their best. They cannot allow a child to have nothing, or next to nothing to eat all day long.they cannot allow one child's treatment plan to be ignored because of another child.

"Because you go on the allergy forum on here and ask any mum if they wiuld send their ana child to a nut school and they would all say no."

Sorry but that is blatantly not true. My child is one of 6 (that I know of) anaphylactic dcs at their school, all to nuts or peanuts and one to egg as well, nothing is banned. I am against nut bans, as is bruffin, as are loads of parents on the allergy boards. I'm not saying my opinion should carry more weight than yours but its simply nonsense to pretend that all people with allergies and their parents speak with one voice on this.

I don't get this hierarchy of allergies either but I do benefit from it. It's a total pita for all the CMP allergy dcs who are told that their cruel mummy won't mind if they have a little bit of chocolate.

Holly every school will have a child with some sort of anaphylaxis unless they are particularly small. Not all schools have nut bans and manage without a problem. I know my dcs primary had at least one other child with nut allergy and other children with egg and various other allergies. I never heard of any problems in the 9 years my dcs were there.

What happens when a child, who quite possibly has only just turned 11, goes to secondary school? How are nut allergies managed?

pingu2209 - they're managed (or were) by ensuring that the correct meds are available and staff know to call an ambulance.

This is interesting but i have to go to bed as my dustmite allergic (as well as nut) child will get me up in the night as usual with breathing difficulties.
It is an emotive issue, not easily resolved as no doubt there will be more and more allergies developing in future.
FWIW I don't think I would ever change my opinion about this. Nothing focusses the mind as much as seeing your own child fighting for life after exposure to a nut or other allergen.