Not allowed nuts in school

[pingu2209]

A friend of mine is really concerned about a letter home from school and subsequent conversation. Her dd is very fussy and will only eat peanut butter sandwiches. It is a long battle for her and the doctor is very concerned about her weight as she eats very very little. Has to be white bread, no crusts etc. I would go as far as to say it is an eating disorder - she is 9.

Her eating has to be tackled and the mum is getting help. So far the specialist help has said that it is a good idea for her to eat peanut sandwiches as this is pretty much all she will eat and will give her nutriants etc. They said the key is to increase the types of food, rather than take away what little she does.

But the school has said nobody is allowed any nuts, inc. peanut butter sarnies, in school as there are a handful of children with severe nut allergies - that could kill them.

My friend is at a loss. She asked whether her daughter could eat her sarnies away from the allergic children. The school has still said no, just incase there is peanut butter on her fingers etc that the allergic children could accidentally get it on them.

Who is being unreasonable?

very easy to tell from reading posts who are the mothers of a child with severe nut allergy. only they know/understand the real terrifying fear of mothering a child with a life threatening allergy. becuase it is so 'common' mothers of non-allergy (severe) children THINK they know about it (some anyway) but they don't. they don't know the real deep fear, lying in bed awake at night knowing that as you child gets older and approaches secondary school/teenage years that they could die as they won't look after themselves as well as their mother did. so easy to dismiss something as trivial when you havent' experienced the terror. ignorance surrounding so many things that are common place ie nut allergy, ivf etc etc. fwiw my daugther has severe allergy to peanuts/hazlenut and raw egg. her school has a nut ban BUT it wouldn't bother me if there wasn't one for reasons already mentioned above. i don't appreciate the few posters who are so dismissive about something they know fuck all about, most posters are more understanding

Every allergic child has different reactions and therefore different requirements. Both schools we have attended have extensive instructions from parents, plus kits which include two epipens (in case one fails) and antihistamine syrups etc should the case arise. Special cakes/biscuits/treats are supplied for allergic children by their parents on birthdays celebrated in school so the allergic child can join in, but not be endangered by eating home baked birthday treats which may accidentally contain allergens despite strict school rules. School nurses and first aiders should be trained in administration of epipens and know the first signs of anaphylaxis.
It is worrying but you have to trust that others do not underestimate the risk to those affected - as I used to, before my own child suffered a near fatal shock.

Bruffin, do you know how the 150 breaks down in terms of the allergens concerned?

Also, you wrote so succinctly in a few lines what I was trying to say in far too many lines.

YES YES YES. Every single thing you just said Bringnbuy.
You articulated what I couldnt, really well.

Exactly that.

ps: OP - your friend has my sympathy. i am friendly with someone whose son has food issues and has ONLY ever eaten about four things (apple, rice cakes are among them). they have been to see so many specialists and still haven't got to the bottom of it. to add to their fun he also has nut and egg allergy.......
I know that food issues can be extremely hard to deal with and for some, are certainly a mental health issue, not to be dismissed out of hand. some people get this confused with a difficult child eater. i don't think she should be made to go home to eat, she should be able to eat at school but not sit by/near children with food allergys (and wash her hands after)

Those of you that support nut bans, do you honestly believe that there have never been nuts in the same school building as your child? Really?

I work lunchtimes in a very small school that has a ban, in an area where the vast majority of parents are very supportive of the school, the children and other parents. And peanut butter or cereal bars containing nuts do occasionally make their way into school. Not always intentionally, but it happens on a reasonably regular basis. One of our staff members has a severe nut allergy.

And what's the alternative? Are you prepared to let a child with a serious problem, who has probably eaten a meagre breakfast, spend all day at school not eating? Do you really want that?

Tables and chairs get cleaned after lunch anyway, there is no rule set in stone that says all children must eat their lunch in the same room, even if they belong to the same class. There is no reason why children need to go around touching books between eating and washing their hands. They don't even have to touch the taps (which can also be cleaned) if a staff member closely supervises.

i don't appreciate the few posters who are so dismissive about something they know fuck all about

Isn't that exactly what you are doing towards the child with the food issue?

What do you suggest is put in place for her? You know, to meet the needs that she has a right to be met.

So what Clouds, fuck it and let them all have nuts because one or two probably have had nuts in school?

Its about damage limitation. Its about life or death

Its about damage limitation

Yes, exactly that. Damage limitation for both children. Not just your child. Both children.

Clouds I suggest she gets help. Of the councelling or psychiatric kind.

What do you suggest to help the nut allergic child?
Add a peanut butter sandwich to the mix.

I say my idea will work better, and no one will die.

But the official advice from the experts in anaphylaxis is not to ban, they think education and management is key and bans create a false sense of security.

Other posters with life threatening allergies or whose children have them are saying they don't think their should be an outright bash,

This school has children with different and complex food issues, they need to accommodate both, in fact by law they have to.

Clouds, a kid with an eating disorder is not at risk of suffering a life-threatening reaction before the school day is out. She will likely be very hungry but that is no where near the same thing. This is getting silly.

It's not an either/or situation. Do you think that these problems that lots of people have surrounding food just pop up overnight and then disappear after a couple of sessions of counselling. It can and does take years to even be able to eat a reasonable diet if you have a severe food phobia, and it doesn't completely go away.

I have given my suggestions already to help the child with the nut allergy, they aren't rocket science.

actually, it was just thinking. when my dd is out occasionally i get a craving for some peanut butter (which i keep on the top shelf in 'my secion'). BUT when i have it (when she is out) i have this REALLY weird/strict way of eating it/cleaning up after (separate soap/separate towel which i put in the washing machine straight after, etc etc). my point is this, however hard i try to eat it carefully by not getting any on my fingers i ALWAYS do. i can't imagine a child with peanut butter on its fingers becing even vaguely careful/with a neurotic cleaning ritual such as mine. i don't like the idea of dd getting any peanut butter on her fingers by ie touching a school door knob BUT i know i can't wrap her up in cotton wool as she will be going out into the scary big wide world soon so i still stand by the view point of not being overly bothered if her school lifted the ban. you would think i had ocd if you were to witness my ritual of preparing and clearing up after one piece of pb on toast, bloody lovely though :)

5madthings, great on paper. Wont work im reality.

We cant keep out hospitals clean enough to prevent MRSA. You think a school can keep clean enough to stop the spread of nut allergy? It takes a just as tiny, miniscule amount to kill.

What Holly said, The child needs more counselling and help. There must be ways of supporting this child with her problem without directly risking the health/lives of a number of other children.

Exactly what 5madthings said.

WifeOfPie, do you think that not eating every school day for years of your childhood isn't a serious issue? Because it is, and it can lead to serious health problems.

Again - exactly BringnBuy.

Wifeofpie it IS getting silly.
You cannot compare potential instant death to food anxiety.

It can and does work in reality, not all schools ban nuts, the primary school my children go to don't ban them and their are children with anaphylaxis at the school.

The anaphylaxis campaign has info and will help schools come up with strategies to deal with alkergiesd, they do workshops and training program for children, adults, staff etc. It can be done.

The ways that the child needs supporting include allowing her to eat in a normal environment with her peers. It is not ok to take that away from her.

Holly, how many schools ban other allergens? Nuts are no the only cause of anaphalaxis, I assume you would be in agreement with schools banning everything for which a pupil or staff member needed an epi pen?

clouds - you clearly didn't read past the bit that pissed you off. if you had you would have read that i was CLEARLY and openly sympathetic to your friends dd AND i stated that i thought she SHOULD be able to eat her pb sarni's at school...

So what do you think of all the posters who have these allergies or whose children do yet they say not to ban?

Clouds you are either arguing for arguings sake, really quite stupid, or deliberately being a moron, Im yet to work out which.

And you can't compare mrsa and germs to food allergies.