Aibu to not pressure DH to be present at birth?

[Grapesoda]

I'd like a flurry of opinions on this one please. I am due to have a c/s in a could of weeks. My dh wants to be at the hospital but not in the theatre. He is very squeamish and feels it's not normal or healthy to watch someone you love (or anyone I guess) have surgery. I am ok with this as I have no fear of hospitals etc. And he would not be much help given his reluctance to be present.
However, I think he's worried that maybe he SHOULD be there and that I might feel resentful later on.
He was present for the birth of my ds1 but that was ludicrously traumatic.
I think, underneath he is worried about what other ppl think. So, even though it's our choice to make I would like to ask what other ppl think.
Does that make sense?
Btw, if I insisted I believe he would step up to the task.

There will be a nice little erect sheet dividing your top half and tummy area so neither you and your partner can see the op. He can stay and be with you during the birth - which is the most important thing, more then his need to be queasy and hide

mumsysblouse i said its not 1953 because back in the old days it was not the done thing for dads to be at the birth

and IMO the dad should be there, its his baby too, and he is half responsible for making it

and most dads find it an amazing experience even if its not pleasant at times.

My dh was worried about attending the birth and we decided that it had to be his decision.

In the event he was there for the first - emergency section, but I have no idea if he was actually in the operating theatre with me I must remember to ask him (it was 14 years ago!!!!!)

The 2nd was a planned section, was calm and organised and he was there all the time and the first to hold the baby.

He was glad that he had been there but I was equally glad that it had been his decision and not mine.

YANBU. DH wasn't there when ds born. He wasn't keen (similar reasons!) and I was happy with that- one less thing to worry about.

The thing that's important is that you are both happy with the decision.

My DH too would have been there if I'd asked him, so I think that's fine.

He won't see anything of the op unless he wants to.

I had to have 3 CSs and DH was present at none of them. He was just outside the theatre and the baby was handed to him as soon as possible. He stood up to immense pressure put on him by the theatre staff. I was proud of him, but felt the hospital were unfair to put so much pressure on him.

I, like Poledra, had to have a GA with DD. He was able to look after her (screaming nearly all the time - stroppy when she was born and still stroppy now ) which was great. I didn't have a different birthing partner, either. I didn't mind at all.

Just do what you and your DH want to do, OP.

Meant to add, the pressure on DH was for him to be present in the theatre. He didn't want to have any chance at all of seeing me cut open.

Obviously up to you, OP, but I'm with those emphasising that in a normal ELCS, your DH is at your head and can see nothing at all. I had an ELCS in April, and it was a lovely, calm experience - I walked into the room, my partner and I chatted with the nice anaesthetist, he took a wonderful photograph of our baby being lifted over the screen looking outraged, cut the cord, and got to be the first to hold him. Baby was given a quick wipe before being handed to us, so little or no blood/fluids on him either. Honestly, there was nothing whatsoever for the most squeamish of people to be alarmed at.

YANBU.

You should do what's right for you and your DH, and forget about what other people might think about whether fathers should or shouldn't be at the birth.

He won't see a thing - there is a screen - you won't see anything either until you see a little baby held up in the air! My DH is very squeamish , has been known to faint at the sight of blood and he was fine.

You might need a hand to hold when you are having the spinal and waiting for this to take effect.

My Dh is the least squeamish person i know - but during my (emergency) C-section he said he was sure he would pass out (peeped over screen/smell/sounds). During the proceedure I would have been fine without him, but after DS was born (prem) they kind of waved him near me and then took him off - it was only because DH was there to explain that due to my eye problems I hadn't been able to actually see the baby that they brought him back for a few precious seconds. It meant a lot to me as then DS was whisked off to SCBU.