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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be more than a bit miffed that DD's coat has gone missing from nursery?

71 replies

mrscumberbatch · 09/01/2013 19:19

That's it in a nutshell really...

DD's coat was not there on the last day of term before Xmas. I assumed that somebody had picked it up by mistake and that it would be returned after the holidays.

No sign of it....

It's quite an unusual coat and I've never seen any other children wearing the same one. It wasn't cheap either.

Nursery have checked if it has been handed in but there's nothing they can do.

Anyone else had similar? What did you do? It sounds a bit 'hand wringey' but I'm not impressed that there is a coat pincher in our midst!

OP posts:
Sprite21 · 09/01/2013 19:28

That's awful. I don't blame you for being annoyed and the nursery should be taking it seriously not just trying to fob you off. Was her name in it? Even if not, a parent knows their child's coat so this sounds like outright theft.

Livingintheburbmum · 09/01/2013 19:30

Did you put a name label in it OP

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 09/01/2013 19:32

Her name wasn't on it...but there was a ruddy big badge on the front with her name on it (birthday recently)!

I was hoping that the nursery would maybe send a note home with the children telling them that this coat had gone missing and can they please check... but they haven't offered to do anything about it and I feel a bit of a mug.

It's a very popular nursery in a 'nice area', so this has really spoiled my rose-tinted view of the place.

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 09/01/2013 19:33

YANBU,but unfortunately these things happen all the time. I wouldn't be so quick to assume that it has been stolen, sometimes in schools and nurseries things do just seem to disappear.

sparkle12mar08 · 09/01/2013 19:35

Happens all the time I'm afraid, especially in 'Naice' nurseries - it's how some people keep up with the Jones, and why I never spend more than £6-£8 on a winter coat on ebay whilst dc are at primary. It's not worth spending £30-£40 for it to go in the communal 'pot'.

Sanjifair · 09/01/2013 19:38

My DH came home with the wrong coat from nursery once, 'because it was on his peg so I assumed it was his!'

Could have been a dipsy person like my DH who took it, rather than outright theft. I made sure it went back the next day, mind.

Do they have a newsletter? They could mention it in that? Was your child's name in it? Have the staff asked the other parents? My DS's coat disappeared once too once and came back after a couple of weeks. It was a dipsy DH that time too.

DonderandBlitzen · 09/01/2013 19:40

Have the nursery sent out an email to ask parents to look for it at home?

DonderandBlitzen · 09/01/2013 19:41

Sorry I see they haven't. Ask if they can do this.

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 09/01/2013 19:45

There was a badge with her name on it, but I suppose it's easily removed. It's a really distinctive coat though - multicoloured with horses sigh
Sounds more horrible than it is Wink

They haven't mentioned putting it in a newsletter and I don't think that they 'do emails'. I thought that they would at least put a notice up at the door or ask around. I feel silly asking them each afternoon if it's shown up yet.

OP posts:
ProphetOfDoom · 09/01/2013 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMelons · 09/01/2013 19:45

I would imagine someone has taken it TBH, apparently this happens in many schools/nurseries, someone even told me that people unpick hand sewn labels and that people swap for a newer/nicer jumper or coat.

It should have had her name in but TBH that may not have made any difference.

At my pre-school we would either stick it in the next newsletter or put a notice up on the door but other than that I don't really see what else they can do.

DS1's school are really good when people lose stuff and put notices up everywhere, DS2's school are dreadful and their answer to it is to buy another one!

ProphetOfDoom · 09/01/2013 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 09/01/2013 19:49

I'll maybe print out a Missing note and take it with me- with the lurid coat in all it's glory!

I can afford to buy DD another coat, although hadn't budgeted for it this month obviously which isn't great. It does feel a bit petty but I am really irritated about the principle of the whole thing.

OP posts:
OnlyWantsOne · 09/01/2013 19:50

At our nursery there is a pin board in the reception / cloak room and I put a poster up asking for my DD's coat & gruffalo umbrella back - the nursery had already mentioned it on newsletter but no response.

3 days later it was back on her peg

Backtobedlam · 09/01/2013 19:50

Definately ask if they can email out-my dh has no idea which coat, towel, swim bag etc belong to our dc's so could easily pick the wrong thing up. If I then didn't notice it until a short time after term ended, or something, I'd assume it belonged to someone who'd been round to ours rather than a child at nursery. Fc its an honest mistake.

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 09/01/2013 19:54

Ok, second point of the day then: Can anyone recommend decent online kids shops with a sale on Wink

OP posts:
DonderandBlitzen · 09/01/2013 19:55

Yes print out a photo of one like it from a website to go with the note. Don't be afraid to ask them to put it in the newsletter as they've not thought to offer.

PoppyWearer · 09/01/2013 19:57

If it's the one from Joules I'm thinking of, I can see why you're annoyed - v.nice/expensive!

YANBU to be annoyed/upset/miffed.

We also live in a naice area, naice nursery/schools but the DCs go to nursery/school in coats from Tesco or from the sales, never cost more than about £12, it just isn't worth it, not least because they need to be washed twenty bazillion times a week after getting dirty. We keep the nice coats for visiting MIL weekends.

PoppyWearer · 09/01/2013 19:59

Hatley coats are in the same style as that Joules one but about £20-25 a pop, and wash/last well. You can get them from Amazon, eBay and other online retailers, sometimes garden centres and John Lewis.

Or seriously, for nursery - buy a coat from the supermarket.

Original poster
mrscumberbatch · 09/01/2013 20:00

It is the Joules one Poppywearer! Obviously an eyecatching one lol.

I am getting the idea with the 'cheap coat' 'naice coat' conundrum. It's to be minus 4 next week apparently so I had better order something quick!

OP posts:
LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 09/01/2013 20:00

I picked up a coat from a charity shop for DS to wear to nursery - but that was because I didn't want him to wreck his nice little wool duffle coat whilst playing outside. I didn't like it at all, and if we went anywhere other than home straight from nursery, I'd have his usual one in the car.

OwlCatMouse · 09/01/2013 20:03

Yep, this is why we have a boden/joules/hatley coat for home - and Sainsbury's for school/nursery.

landofsoapandglory · 09/01/2013 20:08

Some people are just horrible. I don't understand why you would steal another child's coat.

Matalan coats are good for cheapies, they can be ordered online and do next day delivery if that helps, especially as we are meant to be getting snow!

MimmeeBack · 09/01/2013 20:24

Is it possible that a child got picked up by somebody other than the usual pick up/drop off person before Christmas and the child picked up the wrong coat & it wasn't noticed? I know DD sometimes just grabs the nearest one and have seen others do it too. A picture on the notice board or in the newsletter might just jog somebody's memory or shame the thief into returning it!

If you have a chance see if there is a factory store or seconds store in your town.
Got DD a John Lewis coat for £10 its lovely & really warm.

GoingVerySlowlyMad · 09/01/2013 20:44

Landofsoap My 7 yr old DD had a Joules raincoat taken from the pegs at a dance class. When they came out of the class DD's coat was the only one missing and nobody had left early. My DD was devastated as my DM had bought it for her and there was no chance that I could afford to replace it. I kicked up an almighty fuss and did not let it drop, it miraculously turned up 3 weeks later. Another girl had a Cath Kidston backpack go missing, people don't care who they take from all they see is the monetary value and there is a HUGE 2nd hand market for designer kids stuff.