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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to be more than a bit miffed that DD's coat has gone missing from nursery?

71 replies

mrscumberbatch · 09/01/2013 19:19

That's it in a nutshell really...

DD's coat was not there on the last day of term before Xmas. I assumed that somebody had picked it up by mistake and that it would be returned after the holidays.

No sign of it....

It's quite an unusual coat and I've never seen any other children wearing the same one. It wasn't cheap either.

Nursery have checked if it has been handed in but there's nothing they can do.

Anyone else had similar? What did you do? It sounds a bit 'hand wringey' but I'm not impressed that there is a coat pincher in our midst!

OP posts:

somedayma · 09/01/2013 21:18

yanbu I'd be raging at the cheek of whoever took it! I agree with the idea of putting a poster on the noticeboard asking for it to be returned. And include a picture. The twat parent who took it will hopefully panic/ feel ashamed and return it

DeWe · 09/01/2013 21:32

Could easily be another child fancying it and going home with childminder/friend/someone who wouldn't know (and I'm sure my dh wouldn't )

Have you named it? In which case ask to put up a notice asking people to check.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 09/01/2013 21:47

Happens all the time I'm afraid, especially in 'Naice' nurseries - it's how some people keep up with the Jones, and why I never spend more than £6-£8 on a winter coat on ebay whilst dc are at primary. It's not worth spending £30-£40 for it to go in the communal 'pot'.

God, really? Honestly can't imagine anyone at our school stooping to that. Really can't. That's awful. And imagine if they got caught?

people don't care who they take from all they see is the monetary value and there is a HUGE 2nd hand market for designer kids stuff.

^ This ^

Getting worried now. Bought both dds nice coats at Christmas. Think I'll go and write their name and phone numbers all over the inside in fuck off great big permanent ink letters.

McNewPants2013 · 09/01/2013 21:54

I have resorted to putting DC names on the outside of items now, surprising nothing has gone missing since.

harryhausen · 09/01/2013 22:07

I have to admit to having another boys coat for over 6 months

My son had the same coat. It must have been the last day that he needed a winter coat that he came home in another boys coat. The thing was it was exactly the same and u just blindly put it on the coat hooks under the stairs. When it came to this winter term, I went through the coats and found two of ds's....one with the other boys name clearly on it.

I returned it to the boys mum at school the next day, apologising profusely. I felt really flakey. The mum was really fine about it - even though she'd bought her ds a new coat for the winter

This coat was only from Next though, not a designer/joules one. Could be anyway possible that something like this could have happened?

marquesas · 09/01/2013 22:14

When my DCS were at nursery there were often notices on doors and notes in bags about missing clothes I'd definitely ask them to do that.

I had a school coat go missing for a while and eventually returned by a very sheepish parent who'd accidently swept it up with her stuff and not realised it was in her car.

I wouldn't give up hope just yet.

3smellysocks · 09/01/2013 23:08

the nursery should write a letter for parents, asking if anyone has accidentally taken the cost home with them.

witchface · 09/01/2013 23:11

DD got a Joules coat from DMil for christmas (as well as the horse gillet and long sleeve top for her birthday) and I definitely won't be sending her to nursery in it now! Think now that DSis-in-law has a posh partner she is trying to drag the rest of us up in the world . Oh well will be a nice change for her from asda gear!

Notcontent · 09/01/2013 23:18

It's really annoying for nice things to go missing.
DD used to always have a cheap coat (usually from a charity shop!) for nursery and a nicer one for other times!

We have had things stolen at the playground and at soft play.

renlo · 09/01/2013 23:25

A Peppa Pig hooded top (dd1s favourite at the time) disappeared from her peg at nursery 18 months ago. At the time she was really upset and we had tears for days. nursery staff really tried to help locate it by asking all the parents and got nowhere. 2 weeks ago, the top just appeared on DD2s peg at the same nursery! We know its hers because it still has her name written on the label in my distinctive sharpie laundry pen hand! The mind boggles. It's now DD2s favourite top. Mind you, last summer, DD2 spent a week in another child's clarks doodles- same colour so easy to confuse. Only noticed because I twigged they were looking a bit smaller than I though they should on her as I had deliberately bought a half size up to last her the summer. I took it back the minute I realised. These things happen, though I hope for your sake,OP that it doesn't take 18months for your daughters coat to be returned!

Original poster

mrscumberbatch · 10/01/2013 13:21

I have them a 'missing' notice to put up today and asked if they would ask around. They said that they hadn't realised that it was 'THAT' coat, as it's very distinctive, and that they were quite sure no other children wore it to nursery.

Hopefully it will turn up, I'm not overly optimistic about it though.

We spent extra money on 'good' coats for a reason: DD is out and about on a farm often and it's bloody freezing (Scotland). It's annoying because I just want my daughter to have nice things so it makes me a bit down in the dumps when something/someone spoils it.

Fwiw, we've also 'lost' a pair of Aigle wellies at toddler group and a maclaren/cath kidston pram that was nabbed at the park.

OP posts:

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 10/01/2013 13:24

It might just be that the child isn't back from the holidays yet. Try asking if there are any still 'away' who might have accidentally taken it home. Though how you take a coat like that accidentally is a bit beyond me!!

Lonelybunny · 10/01/2013 13:28

Someone took my 5 yr old dd's scooter from the playground :( and never have seen it again and it was only a cheap £20 one. She was very upset and it was brand new . Everyone who cycles or scoots to school leaves them there and takes them back at the end of the day. I think it is the lowest of the low stealing from a child because that's what it is is stealing !

Lonelybunny · 10/01/2013 13:30

An email was even sent out saying the description of the scooter but nothing :( but I'm afraid it happens . A friend of mine had a friend that used to purposely go through lost property to find the best school jumpers

MrsMelons · 10/01/2013 13:30

DSs infant school have things stolen from their bike sheds frequently. We all lock our stuff up individually now. One of the after care assistants had her bike stolen - she was so upset.

CointreauVersial · 10/01/2013 13:31

I think it's just one of those things you have to expect - at some point in your DC's life something will get nicked/lost/left somewhere. We have lost an expensive pair of trainers that DS left on a football pitch, also a school PE kit (will doubtless turn up eventiually), and DD1 is extremely scatty so has left hats, cardigans, water bottles and scarves in cafes and buses across the south-east.

I have also found other children's stuff in my DCs' wardrobes - usually stuff like school cardigans - but also football tops, wellies and tights . All taken by mistake and returned, but sometimes not as quickly as it should be!

Just think twice before sending them to school/nursery with expensive items. The supermarkets/Primark/Matalan do perfectly good cheap coats which you won't be too upset to lose.

sparkle12mar08 · 10/01/2013 13:32

'Fraid so Ilovemydog - theft is also why I label the ds's school jumpers with black sharpie on the inside collar/neck in BIG letters - it's instantly visible when he takes it off, and we've never had one stolen since I started doing it. No chance of overlooking it. Maybe I'm jaundiced but I believe that most lost property isn't lost at all - it's taken deliberately. And I live in a nice leafy, very middle class/aspirational area and the children go to a Outstanding rated school...

Lonelybunny · 10/01/2013 13:36

Same sparkly it's disgusting tho how can you put a stolen item on your child ? They probably wrapped up my dd's scooter and gave it to their dd for Xmas ! I still look for it everyday as I am hoping one day they will slip up !

chris481 · 10/01/2013 13:41

My DW drops DD at nursery, I pick her up. I assume whatever she's wearing belongs to her, several times she's come home in clothes DW has subsequently informed me aren't hers. Not a jacket, that I can remember, but socks, shirts, trousers, I think even some sandals once. She seems to have permanently inherited someone's fleecy hat. (I thought there was something not quite right when the nursery worker handed over two hats when i picked her up. She does have two or three hats of her own.) Nursery worker didn't seem that keen to locate the real owner of the extra hat when I mentioned it.

Lonelybunny · 10/01/2013 13:45

A hat is easily mistakened tho chris but an unusual looking coat or a scooter I think us more easy to remember if it's your child or not. Mind you my OH would probably not notice as he doesn't really take much notice of what the girls are wearing !

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 10/01/2013 21:25

God sparkle that's awful. I just can't imagine anyone I know at our school doing that. Mind you it's quite a small school so do know everyone. am v naive though

KristinaM · 10/01/2013 21:34

The moral of this is only buy cheap clothes for nursery. If they are not lost they will get paint or glue on them .

I second the view that it will probably turn up as its the boot of grannies/childminders car. But I understand that it's very annoying.

And sorry, but I'm a bit that your child has to have a joules coat as she s out and about on a farm in Scotland . We live on a farm in Scotland and all the kids here wear overalls, wellies and muddy old jackets. You must be on the most stylish farm in the country

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 10/01/2013 21:35

My daughters shoe went missing after PE a week before the winter term finished, still hasnt appeared, its bizarre how things go missing, shoe had a big green sticker in it with her name in too.

Smudging · 10/01/2013 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mrscumberbatch · 10/01/2013 23:26

Kristina, it has great fleecey lining and will do her for a couple of years. By that logic it is almost a cheap coat as she'll get the wear out of it

I think that a 'Most Stylish Farm' contest is required, although it will probably be quite horrendous and be a bit smelly

Smudging, I don't think that I spend too much on kids clothes. I'm quite frugal but will buy one or two 'good' pieces that will go with everything and last. It all gets passed to nieces anyway so it's saving our family money in the long run!

OP posts:

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