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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of people saying...

54 replies

Amytheflag · 09/01/2013 18:26

..."I'm so OCD".

Its such a massively debilitating illness and I'm getting sick of hearing people use it in this context. Like when they say "I tidied my house today. I'm so OCD" giggle.
Or "I like having my books alphabetically. I'm so OCD". "I wash my hair every day. I'm so OCD".

No, you're just tidy and/or clean!

I know I'm sensitive to it considering this illness ruined my life for a long time but I'm so fed up of people trivialising OCD and what it is. It just makes it harder for people who suffer from it to get help or get taken seriously.

Every time someone says it I feel like telling them to go and live a day in my life when my OCD was at its peak and then see if they think they are "so OCD".

Every person who says it is contributing to the misinterpretation of what OCD is which really does not help people who suffer from it. I've even had a health visitor who was told I had OCD tell me "oh I have that sometimes, its where you wash your hands all the time isn't it! Why don't you just use anti bac spray like I do?" Gee, thanks health visitor! I'm cured!

I'm trying to think of any other illnesses people do this about and the only ones I can think of that I've heard are more mental health illnesses. Or do people do it about physical illnesses too?

Am I being unreasonable to be sick of this?!

OP posts:
GoldenGreen · 09/01/2013 20:45

YANBU. I also get the rage when people use Tourette's Syndrome in the same way to get a laugh.

HollyBerryBush · 09/01/2013 20:58

People can be OCD in parts of their lives, it is an obsessive streak. Just because you are obssessive and anxious about one thing doesnt mean you have germphobias and constantly wash, or do light switches and turn on the spot 7 times before putting your left shoe on.

Some people, like me, just need symmetry, such as the larder lined a certain way and I have a monumental hissy if people move food in the fridge or clothes in my wardrobe aren't lined up in a colour spectrum. And I assure you, feck with my books and .... well .... need I say more?

As with other spectrums you have a range of intollerances or sufferances. It's part of the ADHD disorders, and as such. Everyone has their little peccadilloes, and to dismiss those who can control the obsesive traits - such as organising your tins - when it is a spectrum disorder as merely 'tidy' is doing a dis-service to others.

For some it is debilitating, for others it is mangeable and livable, same as other spectrum disorders

Catchingmockingbirds · 09/01/2013 21:01

why couldn't the "mad cow get a grip"

Hmm oh fgs, I would have defriended them too, you need well shot of people like that!

Original poster
Amytheflag · 09/01/2013 21:18

HollyBerryBush, you cannot "be" OCD. You might have it or be diagnosed with it but you cannot be a disorder. I'm also not dismissing people with traits like yours so I'm sorry if my OP came across that way. The examples I gave which may be similar to the ways in which your OCD manifests itself were examples of people who don't have a monumental hissy or experience any anxiety when whatever they claim they need to do isn't done. They like their books alphabetical but wouldn't be bothered if they weren't alphabetical if you see what I mean. That's not OCD and I thats why i find it insulting when they say it is, trivialising this illness.

Catchingmockingbirds it surprises me whenever I come across people who act like that. The one that made me Shock was when a group of PGCE students on a course i was on were discussing OCD and taking the complete piss. It's weird to think they are teachers now. I wonder how they will treat children or parents with mental health issues :/

OP posts:
FanFuckingTastic · 09/01/2013 21:31

I've always had the obsessive without the compulsive rituals. So I get the really intrusive thinking about things, and it constantly turns up, but there's not that switch in my mind that says, I need to do XYZ to deal with it, which then develops into the disordered state.

I do explain to people I am a bit OCD about certain things, when I guess what I should say is that I have OC traits/behaviours and that not following the "correct" way of doing thing makes me exceeding uncomfortable and anxious.

I'm about ready to go back to my psychiatrist anyway, as I am starting to think I may have a form of autism, rather than just straight anxiety, depression or OC traits. Right now I am diagnosed with a personality disorder, but think that perhaps it might just be that I have a differently wired brain, which makes me prone to being obsessive about lots of different things. This has come forth through having a child being assessed for similar issues, so might as well ask and see.

I do know what you mean, people who don't understand things can underestimate how damaging to your life a condition can be and flippant comments with no basis in truth can be very infuriating.

KatyPeril · 09/01/2013 21:34

YANBU!

Snog · 09/01/2013 21:35

I am guilty of using these expressions and will definitely try to stop now that I have heard how offensive they are for sufferers.
YANBU

Fakebook · 09/01/2013 21:37

I have worked with someone with OCD and its a nightmare illness! This man used to check the fridges before leaving work once, then go into the other room and check the small fridges. Push them and slide them shut and make sure the seals were tight. Then he'd put on his coat and leave the building and then walk back to do the whole routine again. Once he told me he came into work at 8pm in the snow to check he'd shut the fridges. When he had days off, he'd phone me on Monday morning and ask me to check he'd shut the fridges. The fact he smoked weed during his studies made his paranoia 10 times worse. I felt very sorry for him.

Mrsrudolphduvall · 09/01/2013 21:40

Tell me about it.
Dd has it and it has ruined the dynamics of the family.
One reason why dh and ds spent Christmas in Australia and we stayed here. Again.

SushiPaws · 09/01/2013 21:41

Yanbu agree utterly.

GeorgianMumto5 · 09/01/2013 21:53

YANBU and people say it a lot now, don't they? I have no personal experience of OCD, but the trivial jokey self-diagnosis thing makes me cringe. It seems there's always a cluster of illnesses or disorders that it is 'socially acceptable' to trivialise or mock. Then everyone wises up, only to replace them with different disorders. Imagine calling someone, 'Spastic!' now? It was never right, but I remember when it was 'a la mode'.

YA definitely NBU.

FreudiansSlipper · 09/01/2013 23:03

I do understand why it is annoying but there is now more awareness of such conditions than there has ever been this is just a downside of that

Though I do disagree when people get annoyed with others saying the are depressed. There is not one set of symptoms depression what is depression to one person is not the same for another some depressed people are high functioning and some people can not get out of bed. Of course the word is over used but no ne should dismiss someone saying they are depressed because they do not seem to outwardly be

fuzzpig · 09/01/2013 23:14

It is very nice to read your post snog :) (that's not meant to be patronising BTW!)

Anyway YANBU OP, I have a whole mess of MH issues (including possible OCD, I was very very shocked when the psychiatrist said he thinks I have it) and this kind of thing bugs the hell out of me.

fuzzpig · 09/01/2013 23:16

Saying you are [something]phobic is quite a common one too.

A phobia of something is not the same as being scared!

hopkinette · 09/01/2013 23:17

YANBU. It fucks me right off when people use "bipolar" like this too.

HarrietSchulenberg · 09/01/2013 23:20

Ha, yes Fuzzpig. Ex-H used to say he had a phobia of slugs when what he really meant was that he didn't really like them much. He used to use it as an excuse not to haul the bins through the alley to the road (leaving his pregnant wife - me - to do it).
I tested his "phobia" by putting one next to his fags that he left on the window ledge outside. He seemed to find some amazing inner strength to overcome that one!

fuzzpig · 09/01/2013 23:29

Ha. That's genius Harriet :o

mouses · 09/01/2013 23:48

how about people who call you OCD freak! Angry

as some people above thread have mentioned, i too like to have my things in order - i prefer my clothes to be in colour order,dvd's/cds alphabetical, my food to be sorted in the cupboards, toys have to go in their arranged boxes. everything has to match, nothing out of place etc...

some friends and family say ''your so OCD!'' it annoys me as im not, i just like to be organised.

one time i had to question myself. when i decorated my bathroom - i had colour co-ordinate towels and ornaments in the room. no one was allowed to dry their hands on the red hand towel because it might move it out of place! i would flip out reminding who ever not to touch. that did worry me but after a few weeks it bothered me less and now its used daily. so i can imagen your life when its not just for a period of time -its permenant.

i do suffer from depression and dont cope with change well. annoys me when i hear people say ''go doctors, put it on ,cry say your depressed etc'' then people gets the meds for what ever reasons they make up just to use as a blackmail to get what they want and dont actually take the meds!

PandaOnAPushBike · 10/01/2013 00:02

YANBU

Although I confess to constantly referring to myself as 'a bit OCD'. In my defence I am autistic so am gold medal standard obsessive compulsive behaviours, they just have a different root cause.

MrsWolowitz · 10/01/2013 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaellaUmbrella · 10/01/2013 00:12

YANBU.

DH suffers from OCD and whenever I hear people say things like "I'm a bit OCD", it really irritates me. It's usually banded around as meaning they like things to be tidy or clean, which as you know is not the full story whatsoever!

I have to say though, I didn't really understand what OCD was all about until I met my DH. It's possible that in the past I may have made a throwaway comment about "being" OCD without knowing what I was on about.

PaellaUmbrella · 10/01/2013 00:15

Just to add, I guess the misconceptions surrounding OCD arise from the compulsions that other people can witness, such as checking, cleaning etc.

The intrusive thoughts element of OCD is invisible and I suppose that's where the misconceptions come from.

Bogeyface · 10/01/2013 00:23

I find it ironic that people say "a BIT ocd", there is no such thing! My best friend has OCD and its a very hard thing to live with, partly for her but mainly for her DH and kids.

YANBU

ILikeWhisperingToo · 10/01/2013 00:43

Have just read a thread in S&B that mentioned "addiction" and "OCD" that made me Hmm

Some of it is ignorance but also, some people are constantly over exaggerating - once or twice you could overlook, but when every stubbed toe is a broken foot, every bout of sickness is the norovirus, every time they are tired they are shattered or every time they're thirsty they're parched... well, I just stop listening altogether!

ILikeWhisperingToo · 10/01/2013 00:46

Bogey is there a spectrum in regards to the disorder then or is it as straight forward as having it, or not? (Or is it a case of having OCD or "just" having obsessive tendencies / compulsive behaviours?) Sorry if it's an obvious question btw Blush

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