To feel its a cheek to text for my nanny's number knowing she will be asking her to pick up her kid

[sorryimlateagain]

I got a text today from another mum at the school just before pick-up time just saying 'can you send me 'your nanny's' number'. Last year she constantly called my nanny to collect and look her child from school on a particularly day of the week because she was on a course. Surely she should arrange and pay for her own Childcare rather than use someone else's. She didn't bother asking me if was ok. My nanny also felt 'abused'. Not sure how to handle it either. Wouldn't mind so much if she asked and it was an occasional thing but... She's obviously lost the number. So far not answered cos I was in a meeting. AIBU?

I would tell her that as your nanny's employer you are not allowed to give out her number for data protection reasons. I can't imagine your nanny would be took happy if you did give her number out to anyone who asked!

Cheeky cow.

I'd say 'don't think i should give her number out really without asking her - what's it about?'

In real life (as opposed to Mumsnet) it's quite hard to say the very upfront and confrontational things others claim they would!

Simply reply with "why?" And if she actually texts the truth, "what!??? I'm going to assume this is some sort of a joke."

I have just checked in my handy book of etiquette.

It says that the proper response to a text such as this is....

'No! Fuck off you necky bitch!'

Do hope that helps.

if you were collecting her DC , then you'd expect a return of favour- her picking up your DC.

But she's trying to blag a freebie childcare pick up !

Has she ever in the past suggested paying towards the Nanny's cost?

Greedy people are such a bore. Ignore.

Why did your nanny do it if she felt abused? She realizes she is only employed by you and that employment doesn't extend to the rest of the school yard right? .

Tell the woman you don't give out otehr people's numbers and that if she wants someone to work for free she should get a friend

Wow.

Ask her for her food delivery details so you can log in and add your weekly shop too.

Wow!

Don't respond to the text yet.

Take the bull by the horns and tell this cheeky cow that your nanny is off limits to other children whilst she's employed by you.

For goodness sake. Text her back and say your nanny is not available to do child are for her

Was your nanny paid for her services cash in hand by any chance? If she felt abused why didn't she pipe up and tell her she was employed by you? Hmmm .

How on earth does she think this is OK...?! She's getting free childcare from a professional?

When your nanny says she feels she's being 'abused', that's her telling you she's extremely pissed off that you passed her number onto this woman in the first place, you realise.

I'm guessing it was pitched as a one-off and now brass-neck lady is taking the piss.

Just give her the agency's number and tell her to use them to make her own paid and above-board arrangements.

What ProudnScary said. Exactly that.

Did she pay when she used her last time? Did your nanny tell you she had asked? Why did you let your employee, in effect , go and work for someone else? Or is she not full time for you?

Sorry, many question cos i can't believe the cheek of it!

Did you respond ?? I'd just say 'what do you need it for?'.

I would ignore that text. Pretend you never received it. I woud also say to your nanny if she is asked in person that she can say she is not allowed to pick up other children under her terms of work with you.

What do you mean you are not sure how to handle it? You are a grown woman

Tell her no!

Just say "No, I'm very sorry but I will not be allowing my nanny to collect your child or provide any care for him/her, I pay a lot of money for my nanny to provide my childcare, not to provide childcare to others for free.

Both my nanny and I were not happy the last time but I let it slide as a one off, here is a number for the nanny agency I used xxxxxxx please do not ask for any more favours

Kindest Regards xxxx

The brass neck of some people never ceases to amaze me!

Any news OP?

How about "I'm wary of passing on people's phone numbers without their permission, but can pass on a message for you"

Well, as it's far after school pick up time, what did you do? Did you ignore it at the time? (Which was the best way to avoid the problem at hte time).

If so, send her a text now saying something like "Hi [cheeky mare], sorry, just seen this! I'll give [nanny] your number in the morning and tell her you were trying to get in touch, I know she charges £x an hour for evening/weekend babysitting if that's what you're after. BTW, just so you know, some people were taking the piss and it was causing insurance issues, so I've told her I don't want her to look after any children except mine during the time I'm paying her, blanket ban seemed easier for her. hope you are all well, [SorryImLateAgain]"

Hopefully gets the message across, explain what happened and what you'd said to the nanny and tell her she can blame you that you won't allow her to look after anyone else's DCs during her paid hours with you, but you're happy for her to babysit outside her work hours with you and she should say at the time what she charges for that. This allows the Nanny to not be the 'bad guy' she can say "sorry, [SorryImlateagain] says I'm not allowed to pick up/look after anyone else's children when I'm in my paid hours with her, you'll have to talk to her about it." Then you will have to say no to your friends.

BTW - I reguarly see and get on with one of my friend's nanny. We include her in a lot with the other 'mum friends' because our DCs get on and she's often at the same toddler groups, so for instance, if we are going for a coffee afterwards we'll invite her too, one of our group does see the nanny a lot outside of her work hours and they are now friends. Amongst the friends themselves, I'd think nothing of asking one of them for a favour and I'd do it for them, so it's easy if a nanny becomes to be seen like one of the SAHMs in a group for them tto have boundaries crossed because their role as 'employee' is less clear to an outsider.