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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask how many people you told about your pregnancy BEFORE the 12 week stage?

79 replies

RayBansWife · 08/01/2013 11:12

How many people did you tell before the 12 week scan?
Was it just your partner / your Mum or did you tell friends as well?

Who did you tell?

OP posts:

Saltycopporn · 08/01/2013 13:52

Just parents and siblings before 12 weeks. Are congratulation in order op?

Nancy66 · 08/01/2013 13:55

Everyone. Can't see the point in waiting - and I say that as someone who experienced several miscarriages.

My logic being that if the pregnancy didn't stick then I was probably going to have to tell them anyway - so why not mention it when it's good news and not bad news?

KitCat26 · 08/01/2013 14:20

Both times most people - dh, my parents, boss and one or two friends knew before 12 weeks (rubbish at secrets).

Rest of friends, MIL, colleagues and aquaintances after 12 weeks.

Not sure why we didn't tell MIL sooner as I get on with her very well.

HopAndSkip · 08/01/2013 14:31

i told my boss and 2 collegues at 7 weeks, though that was mostly to explain the constant throwing up. Also When i ended up in hospital at 9 weeks with hyperemesis I told 4 close friends and my parents.

MamaBear17 · 08/01/2013 20:45

I told everyone. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. If I'd have lost my baby I would have been completely devastated, so people would have found out anyway. However, it was my first pregnancy, I think next time I might keep it to myself for a little longer.

SilveryMoon · 08/01/2013 20:50

I told everyone, everytime before my 12 week scan.
I've had 5 pregnancies and have 2 children. (Early miscarriage)
My first pregnancy, I was young (20) and worked in a job that involved a lot of heavy lifting (was assistant manager in a pub, so barrel moving and crate lifting etc), so I told people at work so they'd understand when I didn't want to do the heavy stuff. I told my mum, my friends etc.
I miscarried and it was hard.
Following times, I told everyone because i wanted to have support if the worst was to happen and i lost again.

Eskarina · 08/01/2013 21:27

My parents, pil and my boss.
Also the dentist and a couple of pharmacists, but I doubt they cared!
I did tell others at 11 weeks ish as I had an early pg scan which showed all was well

zlist · 08/01/2013 22:05

Pretty much everyone - I did a test before I was even late so many people knew shortly after that!

MrsHuxtable · 08/01/2013 22:11

I had Hyperemesis so EVERYONE knew by 7 weeks! :(

MollyMurphy · 08/01/2013 22:15

first time around everyone - we were overtaken by excitement.

second time around - close friends, my boss, 2 friends at work, my parents and inlaws, my SIL and my brother....still mostly overtaken by excitement. Left the general facebook type announcements for 12 week mark though.

Whathaveiforgottentoday · 08/01/2013 22:15

Dh, my mum and science technicians and head of dept at work. Had to tell at work for safety reasons and the techies were lovely and looked after me!

RedTinsel · 08/01/2013 22:16

Just parents, although I think my mum also told my grandmother and my brother and sister.
A few friends guessed (got me on the no drinking business)

scarletfestivefingernail · 08/01/2013 22:23

1st pg - DH immediately, parents and PIL at 9 weeks, everyone else after 12 week scan. DS now 4.

2nd pg - DH immediately, family and close friends at 6 weeks. MC at 8 weeks

3rd pg - DH immediately, my parents at 6 weeks. MC at 8 weeks

4th pg - DH immediately, parents and PIL after 12 week scan, everyone else at 14 weeks. DD is now 8 months.

By the time I'd got to pregnancy number 4 I couldn't bear the look of concern that was inevitable, plus the thought of telling them I'd had another MC so we kept it secret. It was very hard but so wonderful when we finally decided to tell everyone and say we were past the first trimester.

alittlebitcountry · 08/01/2013 22:35

DH immediately both times.

With DR we told our parents around 10 weeks, everyone else 12+.

Second time, got the BFP in the morning and told my mum that afternoon, mainly because she came over to mind DD for a couple of hours and commented that I seemed really flustered. That was around 6 weeks.
DH's parents then because mine knew.
My boss and colleague at about 8 weeks as I was veering between incredibly tired and uncontrollably weepy, my colleague had already guessed.
Everyone else 12+.

alittlebitcountry · 08/01/2013 22:39

Oh and DH never knew but the 2nd time I sent my oldest friend a text, was so excited and DH was at work. She doesn't count in my mind as lives many hundreds of miles away!

Meglet · 08/01/2013 22:40

Partner, mum , dad and sister pretty much straight away.

Work colleagues + boss at 8 weeks. Was off work puking up and obviously pregnant on return. In maternity clothes by 10 weeks both times. They were wonderful and really supported me when I was stressing about things.

Gym instructor too.

UniS · 08/01/2013 22:45

1st time - dh, then my parents, his parents, siL , biL, all told all at 11 weeks as it was Christmas. Then miscarried at 12 weeks. devastated when I found out mum had told her sister and mother.
2nd time- dh, then my parents at about 7 weeks, my boss at about 7 weeks as had to do risk assessment for various chemicals , machines and sites I was going to working with/ on for next 2 months. Didn't see in laws till after 12 weeks.

andadietcoke · 08/01/2013 22:48

We haven't told anyone, although two people at work know because I have premature preggo brain and am a fuckwit. Last time we told my parents as we were on an all inclusive holiday with them and my mum kept offering to go the bar. My dad was so happy, and when I miscarried that was all I could think about.

If I get that far this time I'll have an early private scan at about 8/9 weeks and tell parents and siblings then.

attheendoftheday · 08/01/2013 22:49

We told both our mums and our brothers. I had to tell people at work because I do a dangerous job and needed to move to an office-based role for my pregnancy.

bedmonster · 08/01/2013 22:53

Only Dp and I have known each of the 3 times as I was pg with my first, blabbed to all and sundry then lost the baby at 18 weeks and found ourselves in the awful situation of having to tell everyone the bad news while going through our own emotions. Very sad.
I now don't think for me it holds up about now telling people who I'd want support from in case of mc as at least if I've kept quiet, we can tell people in our own time rather than have to explain straight away.
I inwardly cringe when people tell me they're 3/5/7 weeks pregnant now as I have felt that heartbreak first hand when it all goes wrong.
Obviously it's lovely to share the joy, but my past experience makes me very nervous.

ScrambledSmegs · 08/01/2013 23:01

1st pg - just DH, although a few people guessed as I was quite unwell. And I was bursting to tell so I bet that didn't help the secrecy.

2nd pg - DH, and an entire conception thread on Mumsnet

redwellybluewelly · 08/01/2013 23:09

First. Dh straightaway and family/friends at 13weeks

Second. Dh straightaway and as yet haven't told another soul. Im 18weeks hoping to have scan at 20+3 before bump gives rhe game away

ThePlEWhoLovedMe · 08/01/2013 23:22

I knew I as pregnant the day after my period was due. I work in a place where we might have to restrain - so I knew I had to tell my boss ASAP. I told my boss and everyone else as soon as i saw them. Why wouldn't i ? I don't get this whole 12 week thing.

scarletfestivefingernail · 08/01/2013 23:37

Ah yes Smegs I forgot I did that too

pixwix · 08/01/2013 23:39

With Ds1 - ex-dh, and both sets of parents. Then at 7 weeks was in hospital with hyperemesis, so many more people found out (work, university, friends etc)

Ditto with ds2 really - all quiet on western front until I'm attached to a drip puking, having a couple of weeks off work, and sorting out someone to look after ds1... yowzah!

having said that - I also had three early miscarriages, and apart from ex-dh, no-one else knew....

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