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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask how many people you told about your pregnancy BEFORE the 12 week stage?

79 replies

RayBansWife · 08/01/2013 11:12

How many people did you tell before the 12 week scan?
Was it just your partner / your Mum or did you tell friends as well?

Who did you tell?

OP posts:

StuntNun · 08/01/2013 12:15

DH and I told our parents and siblings. FIL then told everybody apparently. I didn't find this out until I anxiously broke the news to my childminder only to found out he'd told her SEVEN WEEKS earlier. Tbh I wouldn't have minded if he had told me he spilled the beans to her but he didn't admit to it.

Whatdoiknowanyway · 08/01/2013 12:16

Tried to get to 12 weeks but hard as back in the day (early 90s) we had a tea trolley at work. Cup of coffee at 10am, cup of tea at 3pm. No drinks machines or water fountains. Try explaining to motherly tea lady that, no you don't want a cup of coffee thank you. Or if you take one, then having to walk past multiple offices to pour down sink in ladies loos. No way I could face either tea or coffee so it became an open secret very early on.

Boomerwang · 08/01/2013 12:18

I didn't want to tell anyone in case I had an mc. But then, I worried that if I had an mc I wouldn't have anyone to turn to for comfort, as I'd have to admit the pg first and that would be a shock. So I told my parents over Skype, and my boyfriend told his parents. That was it.

Oreocrumbs · 08/01/2013 12:20

Pretty much everyone. Told our parents the day we found out and our friends as and when we saw them.

Told people at work straight away too - but I wouldn't have if I didn't have to change my working practices straight away.

We didn't intend to, but we were so excited we couldn't keep a secret.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 08/01/2013 12:20

First time we just told parents at 5 weeks, my boss at 8 weeks and everyone else at 12 weeks. Second time told all family at five weeks and my closest friends/boss at eight. Third time told parents and siblings but miscarried hence we've decided that if we're lucky enough to conceive again, we won't tell anyone so early. Both mum and mil seem not to understand as neither had any problems conceiving or keeping pregnancies. I've found great comfort in talking to close friends though, since I lost it.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 08/01/2013 12:20

I told my dad the day before he flew off to Australia - I was about 6 weeks and wanted to tell him face to face.

I told my boss pretty early early but I had a pretty risky job - was great - I got to write my own risk assessment

BarbarianMum · 08/01/2013 12:22

My husband and my mum. My husband because I was very excited, my mum for moral support if things went wrong (always one to look on the bright side, me).

However, I have to say that, second time round, everyone close to me guessed by the time I was 8 weeks cause I no longer wanted coffee or tea, and occasionally had to rush out of the room (to be sick). But they were diplomatic and no-one mentioned it til we told them.

BoomBoomBoom · 08/01/2013 12:22

Everyone was told as I was due Surgery which had to be cancelled and I had severe Morning Sickness.

craftynclothy · 08/01/2013 12:24

Everyone. Wasn't planning to but my family all guessed. Not helped by me needing maternity clothes by 9 weeks . Actually everyone thought I must be having twins, was quite relieved there was only one at my 12 week scan.

ArthurandGeorge · 08/01/2013 12:25

Told most people straight away apart from at work where I only told my line manager and one or two others each time.

ArthurandGeorge · 08/01/2013 12:26

When I saw "straight away" I mean as I saw people iyswim. I didn't make a big announcement.

Calabria · 08/01/2013 12:27

My husband was there when I did the test, he cried with happiness, I cried with hysterics!

I told my parents and sisters straight away despite DH not wanting to tell anyone until 12 weeks. (Just like I told them he wanted us to get married, while he wanted everyone to know when we made it official with the ring. I can keep a secret, honestly ).

When told his parents his mum said she had guessed. They'd been to stay and I spent most of the time they were here asleep

HazleNutt · 08/01/2013 12:30

Only DH knew both times - glad we didn't tell people, as the first one ended in a miscarriage and I would have hated to un-tell everybody asking about it.
Am 16 weeks and have just told family, a few close friends and some colleagues.

jimblejambles · 08/01/2013 12:35

With ds1 I told pretty much everyone at 7 weeks, ds2 told everyone about 9 weeks.
With dc3 only dh,pil and my mum knew before 12 weeks. I told work at 13 weeks and let everyone else guess when I started showing.

ISpyPlumPie · 08/01/2013 12:36

DS1 - parents & PIL (DM and MIL then took it upon themselves to tell DB/SIL respectivley) immediate boss (who is also a good friend) and big boss (felt I should explain why I was suddenly practically falling asleep in work).

DS2 - parents, PIL, immediate boss (who is now more senior so I didn't tell big boss this time), a close friend as I was going to be a bridesmaid at her wedding and was worried about dress fittings, DH told one friend as well and one of my collegues guessed at about 9 weeks.

Phew - that is a heck of a lot when I write it down. I thought we'd kept it reasonably quiet .

Librarina · 08/01/2013 12:38

I told husband, boss, the good friend who'd been sharing the TTC journey and my yoga teacher straight away.
Parents (and therefore all of their friends!) at 12 weeks.
All of our friends had to wait till 16 weeks cos that's when we had a party and saw them! It was lovely having a little secret for so long.

BrandyAlexander · 08/01/2013 12:47

Both times dh straight away, parents and siblings at 9 weeks, friends at 13 weeks and work at 21 weeks.

CaseyShraeger · 08/01/2013 12:48

Just DH, except with DD2 when it was bloody obvious by 10 weeks. I paid for an early scan before telling anyone that time, though. Although actually, come to think of it with DD2 I did mention it to my boss earlier than that because we were trying to work out assignments and staffing for the next year and I wanted to give her a heads up.

hoodoo12345 · 08/01/2013 12:52

I told everyone, and anyone who would listen straight away.

blonderthanred · 08/01/2013 13:00

Immediate family and a couple of close friends.

Also a couple of colleagues by accident (one was playing with my phone & saw I'd installed a pgy app)

Paradisefound · 08/01/2013 13:03

All family and some friends knew by 5 weeks .. in hospital due to horrendous sickness.

inchoccyheaven · 08/01/2013 13:12

With both ds told family at Christmas time so would have been around the 8 week mark and I was signed off with ds1 in the Jan because of morning sickness so they knew.

However when preg for third time I miscarried at 8 weeks and no one but DH and I knew which then made it difficult telling family I had been but wasn't any more :(

mimmytoz · 08/01/2013 13:18

my mum, DP my twin sister and both my other sisters oh and my best friend.

But all my sisters and best friend were all pregnant at the same time as me the 5 of us had our babies with in 13 weeks. we quiet an adventure as it was all of our firsts

Geranium3 · 08/01/2013 13:27

everyone!!
I was sooo thrilled and went around with such a big smile for weeks!!

Peevish · 08/01/2013 13:39

No one other than my partner until about seventeen weeks, when I told my parents. I was realy reluctant to tell anyone - I loved being secretly pregnant.The whole pregnancy made me want to keep to myself, build lots of big fires, and listen to music alone! (I now have a ferociously sociable baby who likes Mozart!)

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