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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is Housemate Acting Weird or AIBU?

104 replies

LessMissAbs · 07/01/2013 22:31

New housemate. The first week, I got in from work, dripping wet from the rain, to a loud wailing noise coming from the bathroom. Bathroom door was open, she was sitting on the toilet seat, screaming in agony. I thought she'd injured herself or had bad food poisoning, but no, it was her period. She said it would only last an hour, but the only thing that could help is if someone stayed with her and talked to her. Awkward to say the least. Eventually I persuaded her to take some Ibuprofen, escaped to get changed out of my wet clothes, and she made a full recovery.

The next week, I got a phone call during my evening class (but it went to voicemail as I have it switched off during the class) asking me to phone her back urgently, as she'd been to give blood, felt faint, and could I come and collect her as she was too faint to drive. I didn't - I had an exam, and she did recover enough to drive herself home.

Last week, there was a crisis the moment I got in the door about the key for the bike shed having gone missing. I didn't even get a chance to get my jacket off.

This week she has been talking about her period being due again soon, and maybe going to see a doctor about it. I think I'm dreading the period as much as her!

Do people really suffer in this way/AIBU to feel slightly freaked by all of this?

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 07/01/2013 22:53

Oh x post OP...Revenge is an American tv programme on e4 earlier this evening. She's not that weird. No need to bar your door!

sparkleyangel · 07/01/2013 22:54

recognised

whois · 07/01/2013 22:55

I can't believe you're even asking!!! She's a fruit loop, get rid.

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 07/01/2013 22:58

Shes lived away from home for quite a few years. I only got employer's reference. Shes not that bad apart from that, its just that it unsettled me and makes me feel a bit uncomfortable around her. That and the non-stop talking. I thought I was being unreasonable in feeling like this for little reason. I'm sure shes aware she annoys me slightly now and I feel horrible for it.

Its just the way she expected me to stand with her, dripping wet, talking to her for as long as it took, but took bloody 20 minutes to persuade her to take a painkiller.

I am relieved to hear about the tv programme Revenge though!

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 07/01/2013 23:00

Yeah she's definitely an odd one OP and I'm not sure I would want to love with her but I'm 99% certain the "Revenge" status was to do with the programme.

Which incidentally is absolutely awful yet I cannot help but watch it if I catch it Blush

WeAreEternal · 07/01/2013 23:06

Her FB status was probably about that program Revenge, I think the new series of that started this evening.

You either need to sit her down and tell her that you are really looking for someone to just rent the room not be involved with, and that frankly you find her needy behavour quite weird.

Either that or begin completely ignoring her, ignore all calls, only return them if it really is urgent. Ignore texts too.
If she grabs you as you walk in the door just say ?in a minute? and then walk away and ignore her. If she tries to start a conversation only give one word answers and try not to look at her (it will encourage her to leaver you alone.)
You are going to have to be harsh, but once she gets the message that you are not her friend she will ease of and leave you alone.

FrillyMilly · 07/01/2013 23:11

If I didn't live with my husband and children I would think you were talking about me. I recognise those drama queen like tendancies from myself. Although I don't need company when my period arrives. My Facebook status tonight was also about revenge (the TV show). Some people are just chatterbox drama queens it doesn't mean we want to kill you or are going to go all single white female on you.

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 07/01/2013 23:18

Yes but FrillyMilly I'm not her husband and I've only known her a few weeks! She has however told me she is into women, not men, and although I really don't care whether her sexual orientation is men, women or somewhere inbetween, I can't help wondering if this is causing some of the awkwardness.

OP posts:
bumperella · 07/01/2013 23:22

She does sound a bit dramatic. If that makes you uncomfortable, then IMO you've 3 options: either speak to her direct, ignore and hope she gets the hint, or ask her to move out.

EllenParsons · 07/01/2013 23:23

Ooh I'm glad I saw this thread as I do like revenge (the show) and I didn't know it was back! And yes your flatmate sounds annoying and a bit nuts.

BluelightsAndSirens · 07/01/2013 23:24

She sounds like far to much responsibility for rent money.

oldraver · 07/01/2013 23:24

She sounds like an attention seeker, so I would just carry on as you are, dont feed into it

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel · 07/01/2013 23:29

Can you put a tv in her room? So if you want to watch different things she has somewhere to go and find out her least fave programmes & make sure they are on in the living room when she comes in

She sounds odd & needy & you may have to set well defined boundaries

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 07/01/2013 23:34

She has refused to have a tv in her room! I've had to take it out and store it for her...

Well perhaps she will settle down.

OP posts:
ILoveSaladReallyIDo · 07/01/2013 23:35

"Her FB status was probably about that program Revenge, I think the new series of that started this evening"

^that

but the rest, even if she does have genuinely awful periods, what did she do before she moved in with you if she needs to be 'talked through" them, and why can't whoever did that for her every month before you came into her life come over and do it Hmm - v odd!

Original poster
LessMissAbs · 07/01/2013 23:38

Shes just come downstairs to complain that she's allergic to carpets! She is going to hire an industrial standard vacuum cleaner to hoover them (its a new build house and the carpets are brand new) or she might put plastic sheeting over the carpet in her room... no way will she be getting to do that

Thankfully I only live here when I'm working and with DH the rest of the time!

OP posts:
ILoveSaladReallyIDo · 07/01/2013 23:45

oh dear! nip this in the bud, she had opportunity to ask about/look for carpets before she agreed to move in!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 07/01/2013 23:46

Oh well she probably won't stand it much longer if she's allergic, maybe it'll be a face saver for both of you.

Dancergirl · 07/01/2013 23:52

Have you seen Single White Female??

hiddenhome · 07/01/2013 23:59

She's neurotic. She needs a prescription and some cbt. She also needs to be quiet. People who talk constantly are annoying.

WhereYouLeftIt · 08/01/2013 00:32

"Shes 30, I would have thought she would have gone to the doctor about her periods by now if they were that bad."
In all fairness, my endometriosis didn't fully kick in until I was in my early thirties - just the occasional 'bad period' until then. But I did go to to my GP and she prescribed horse drops very strong painkillers, as one of my concerns was that I'd taken too many paracetemol in too short a time whilst in the haze of agony. I find it very odd that she, screaming in agony, had to be persuaded to take a painkiller. And that "the only thing that could help is if someone stayed with her and talked to her." I can honestly say that the last thing I want when I feel that way is anyone within sight, let alone conversation.

She does sound a bit of an attention-addict.

concessionsavailable · 08/01/2013 00:42

This isn't going to settle down. It's going to get worse, mark my words. I've lived in enough dreadful flatshares to know how they start....

NatashaBee · 08/01/2013 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpottyBagOfTumble · 08/01/2013 00:46

Oh dear! Sounds odd!

HecatePropolos · 08/01/2013 07:05

Attention seeking drama queen.

If you give her the slightest bit of attention, she will escalate for more. It's like a drug. The fix you need to get you high just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Although there's a chance that not giving the attention she is craving will also result in bigger and more dramatic attempts to get it.

Basically - you're probably going to start to feel like you're in some reality show version of Eastenders and begin checking random ornaments for hidden cameras.

How long is the rental agreement with her? I'd seriously end it as soon as you can and find someone else.