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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

This can't be true can it? Ebay.

86 replies

lollilou · 07/01/2013 14:49

Is there any way I can find out if this email from a seller on Ebay is true? I am in floods of tears over this. Heres what he wrote,
"I hope your lil keyboard warrior efforts made you feel good - the reason I have not been in touch or dealt with the issue was the fact that my daughter sadly passed away just before Christmas and I held her funeral on the 28th of December so forgive me if having some stranger twist about 2.50 second hand tshirts were not top of my priority list!! Here is hopin you never ever have to experience the pain of losing a child and then have someone twist and twine on at you about a postal service which is beyond anyone's control!"
I'm shaking and crying how was I to know?

OP posts:

MrsWolowitz · 07/01/2013 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake · 07/01/2013 14:56

Very unlikely to be true, common tactic on the discussion boards to avoid responsibility.

Just follow through with your complaint as normal - and check they're feedback in case they've done it before.

CheCazzo · 07/01/2013 14:56

Hmmmmm. This ruse is not uncommon on eBay sadly. Plus - that would be a very quick burial indeed especially at that time of year. I would proceed in a polite but unengaged manner and watch their feedback for clues.

starfishmummy · 07/01/2013 14:56

I doubt if it is true.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali · 07/01/2013 14:56

Oooooo, I think I'd leave it.

Forget the items, delete the emails and forget about.

You didn't know, how could you? So don't feel bad. You're not at fault.

Please don't beat yourself up over it.

Splinters · 07/01/2013 14:56

I doubt you can find out, but I also think you should try not to stress about it, even though getting a message like that is a really nasty shock. If true it is horribly expressed, but grief does horrible things to people sometimes.. If not he's a wanker. Can you email back v politely with something like, "I am very sorry for your loss, but there was no way I could possibly have known about it. I understand you have other very important things to think about at the moment, but I would appreciate getting this matter dealt with when you are able." ?

CheCazzo · 07/01/2013 14:57

Ha! Major SNAP there!

Mabelface · 07/01/2013 14:58

What Splinter said. Exact words.

Nixea · 07/01/2013 14:58

Sorry, maybe I'm too sceptical, but when I used ebay for work this was a fairly common response. I would be doing the same as Lauries as following up the complaint through ebay.

Even if it, and I really hope it isn't, true, you couldn't have known so please don't beat yourself up over this.

harrietlichman · 07/01/2013 14:58

That really is awful - agree wiht MrsWolowitz's advice - I don't know if there is any way you could check whether or not it is true, so I would do as advised and then don't dwell anymore on it - you weren't to know (and really he shouldn't have sent you that email, but lets assume it's true and he is grief stricken)

MrsRajeshKoothrappali · 07/01/2013 14:58

Actually, the words 'warrior efforts' makes it sound like some arsehole making excuses. So does the bit about hoping you never go through it.

If that had really happened I doubt they'd even be checking their eBay account.

But you never know.

I don't know.

Jins · 07/01/2013 14:58

Extremely unlikely to be true and I've seen it mentioned on the ebay boards a lot.

Practically there is no way you would be able to arrange a funeral so quickly.

shinyrobot · 07/01/2013 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CailinDana · 07/01/2013 14:59

Oh pet, please don't cry, this person is an utter cunt who is totally bullshitting you. If the seller had genuinely lost a child, he/she would not be blabbing on about it on Ebay and using it to hurt you. Just ignore them. They are fucked up in the head.

shewhowines · 07/01/2013 14:59

Not likely to be true. Or even if it is, it's still not a reasonable response to an obvious problem you were trying to solve without knowing what had happened.

Send a response back apologising for the intrusion at this sad time, however say that you were not made aware of the situation. You are disappointed at the tone of the email for something that you were unaware of, and whilst you sympathise for their loss, you would still like the matter looking into.

Then don't worry. Very rude email.

JessieMcJessie · 07/01/2013 15:00

"twist and twine"? What does that mean?

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 07/01/2013 15:00

I have had similar written to me, and someone whos wife chucked him out and took his kids away and left him homeless and without internet access, and someone whos Mother was involved in a hideous car crash and someone who just discovered she had aggressive cancer.

Just act as you usually would, its not your fault and that message was clearly designed to make you feel like shit. I very much doubt its true.

Original poster

lollilou · 07/01/2013 15:00

Thank you for your replies. The t-shirts were something my little boy had on his Father Christmas list so I really wanted them. I emailed twice and then let Ebay take over they found in my favour and refunded the money only a couple of quid. Then I left my first ever negative feedback. Checked my emails just now and found that. It's really upset me, what if it is true? That poor family I feel like shit.

OP posts:

CailinDana · 07/01/2013 15:02

So what if it's true? How on earth were you to know? Trust me though, if it were true, bad Ebay feedback would be the last thing on this person's mind. If it is true, using a dead child to hurt a stranger over a few quid is pretty bloody awful and I wouldn't have much sympathy for them.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 07/01/2013 15:03

I think it is much much more likely to be bullshit tbh. Continue with your claim and let eBay sort it out. Please don't cry over it - I really, really don't think it's likely to be true (not the way he's written that). Even if it is (and I'm almost certain it isn't) you were not to know, if we assumed every shit seller was just dealing with a bereavement eBay would go (completely) to pot.

Jins · 07/01/2013 15:04

Delete, block and ignore.

taypottick · 07/01/2013 15:04

Very unlikely to be true, there are some nasty people on Ebay. Added to that the number of fake products on Ebay-it is a very dubious website. Sorry you have been upset by this.

shewhowines · 07/01/2013 15:05

I'd feel bad if it was an apologetic email explaining it had happened because of a death in the family. The tone of that email would surprise me if it was true. Even if it was true it would annoy me, as no one needs to be that rude.

SantasENormaSnob · 07/01/2013 15:07

I wouldn't believe it either.

PessaryPam · 07/01/2013 15:08

He is lying, so calm down

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