For wanting to know about your idiolects?

[ThunderInMyHeart]

Just been enjoying trawling through Classics and someone used 'trumped' instead of 'farted'. It made me smile and reminded me of my dad (not a serial ripper of the ass (idiolect within an idiolect!), but because he uses that word too).

Instead of Waitrose, I say 'WeightRise'.

Please share!

Since DS started school, fish and chips are referred to as biff and chips.

We have slicey for spicy and home tels. Both thanks to ds1. :-)

We say "ARM CUT ORF TO HERE!!" if we catch anyone saying a non-sequitur.

If one of us is unable to do a particular thing we say "I can't snoil!!!"

Any grass of any kind is sorghum, regardless of whether it is actually sorghum.

My Gran says Abhortion (abortion), Asdas (Asda), Semi-Chem (with a Ch instead of Cem) and refers to them (homosexuals )

Infact that last one would be idiocy as opposed to idiolect.

I remembered more!

Pyjamas are "jammidges" (dd again) although this is also the word she uses for sandwiches, so it's confusing at times.

The film "Clash of the Titans" has always been "Tit In A Kaftan" (my mum and stepdad started this years ago and it just stuck)

Dh's pet name for me is "moose" (meant affectionately!) so that word gets randomly inserted into sentences or used in places of other words - ie "Make yourself mooseful". My breakfast cereal is called "mooseflakes" and my morning coffee is "moose juice".

We also have can-apes, never can-ah-pays. Really annoyed our wedding coordinator with that one!

Cuddles/hugs in our house are "cuggles" and big cuddles/hugs therefore "buggles".

Any remote is simply referred to as "the buttons".

Farts are fluffies (came from SIL and no idea why).

"What's for tea?" gets the answer "bread and butter and a duck under the table".

'Minger With a Tramp Stamp' - 'Girl with a Dragon Tattoo'
'I've got to go peepers' - I need the toilet

I love humanised household appliances!

Our vacuum is Fellatia!

DS's pram was Pramela

My mum said around a sound instead of surround sound does my head in

Bluewonderful in our house 'what's for tea?' was met with 'shit with egg on!' if my mum was in a mood.

Speaking of my mum, she often says 'psychotic' instead of 'psychic'
My boyfriend can't say 'vulnerable' so he says 'vummable'
I have a friend that says 'wee high cul' instead of 'vehicle' and 'hippotassissmos' instead of 'hippopotamus'

I don't believe I have any now. Sometimes if I've never heard a word said, only written, I get it wrong. Took me ages to learn Siobhan, souvenir and awry!

"What's for tea" would be met with "sheep shite and onions" when DH was little, and "a run round the table and a kick at the cat" in my house. Not sure what that says about either family really.

Dd goes to Kumon, so instead of "come on" we say "kumon".

DP calls farts 'fluffs'! I'd never heard this before I met him but now I find myself using it too
Mazagine - magazine
Sleepy nices - when your skin gets warm and soft when you're sleepy

Hm sure there are more but can't think of any right now. Love reading others though

I love threads where I end up laughing so hard I cry, though it can be embarrassing during lunch break when someone walks in!

We have loads of funnies, couldn't possibly remember them all. Would have to write them down after listening for a couple of days!

Edna is our vacuum cleaner. From Evil Edna, though that was a TV... don't ask. The cat hated it.

Tiramisu is Terrible Sue.

Squirrels are squidgels if I'm feeling charitable and tree rats if I'm not.

Not so much swapping words, but DH and I like to used "anti" words that don't exist, e.g if we're putting flat pack together we're mantle-ing it (rather than dismantle) or if I'm looking nice he says I'm looking kempt (rather than unkempt). It always makes us laugh when we manage to find a new one

The Sat Nav is Natalie as my mum, whose native tongue is not English, says 'SatNat'...and at the time my DB had a girlfriend called Natalie. Cue us calling her Sat Nav...not to her face...and not in a nasty way! Alternatively, the sat nav is also 'that moany wench' to my DH!

Quirky sayings: this one is courtesy of Shakespeare and can be deployed in a number of manners - 'leakier than an unstanched wench' i.e. leakier than a menstruating woman. Class.