For wanting to know about your idiolects?

[ThunderInMyHeart]

Just been enjoying trawling through Classics and someone used 'trumped' instead of 'farted'. It made me smile and reminded me of my dad (not a serial ripper of the ass (idiolect within an idiolect!), but because he uses that word too).

Instead of Waitrose, I say 'WeightRise'.

Please share!

DH calls the TV remote a doofer

Mum and I have always said 'antwak' for old-fashioned (derivation of 'antique'). Until my late 20s I thought it was a general term and was a bit when no one else knew what I was talking about

The fashion label 'miu miu' is, by my decree , to long be known as 'Meow Meow'

Destructions instead of instructions (especially for IKEA self-assembly furniture).

God - we have loads of these as both my mum and my dh make stuff up that sticks!

Bees - Strawberries
Whizzer - remote control
Boosh - A bump on the head/wherever and can be prefixed with the place where the boosh took place (so a wagaboosh for a boosh in wagamama - a recent example)
Doop - poo
Prick stick - glue (trying not to teach dc that one, but so ingrained on my brain it is proving quite difficult)

Probably lots more, but that's all I can think of atm!

CuntBucket (gratuitous name selection on my part there!), that is adorable!

Ventricles - vegetables
Suggestives - Digestives
The Nudes - The News
Liberry - Library
The Orifice - The Office

Most of these are my Dad's!

We use spoonerisms quite a lot in our house. e.g. we always park in a par cark and a ballet dancer is always a dally banser.

And for some long forgotten reason we deliberately mix up the words onions and options. Weird I know.

youngest sons ones are, washing up wicklid and samshis for washing up liquid and sandwiches, corrie orrie for coronation street, yeastlenders for eastenders,

Great thread.

Strawberries are habbies in this house and, for a reason that appears perfectly logical to DS, our vacuum cleaner is his 'pie'. So the rare times I hoover, I'm 'pushing the pie around'.

When DD was younger I used to wind her up by deliberately mishearing 'reason' as 'weasel'. The hangover from this is 'everything happens for a weasel'.

Also we have storebellies and boobellies instead of strawberries and blueberries, and I have been known to refer to bumblebees as beeblebums (initially to make them sound less scary).

Oo, TV Shows:

Big Benders - Eastenders
Holy Smokes - Holly Oaks
Cobumbo - Columbo

I am a classy dame.

Breasticles - credited to DH in honour of my bee stings.
Probs quite widley used - lobster, not oyster, card.

Unlucky-fried-kitten, is Kentuky Fried Chicken. My sister made this up, we never eat there, and I don't think I could after calling it this for years!

Snorkelberries and Rastleberries.

We use earbenders for eastenders
amboolanz - ambulance think that might be cos of my mum's italian accent
ellycotter - helicopter ditto the accent
sahngweeech - sandwich
new nyeah - new year
poosygatto - cat
is that the kind of thing?

Wobblies for wallabies (coined by my goddaughter when she was 2)
Doovee for duvet

Can't think of anything else specific to us rather than regional.

Conservatories are "conservatives" thanks to my gradmother's best friend who was renowned for hilarious malapropisms.

Prawns, lobsters, langoustines, etc are "chazwozzas"

Squash/juice is "oosh" (dd's pronunciation that just stuck)

Is something is behind you, it is Tibetan (my mum had a cd of Tibetan monks chanting that sounded like they were saying "behind youuu" over and over).

DH and I rarely answer yes to a question asked by the other - instead we say "Make it so, number one" (Trekkie geeks!)

There's loads.

wobbly bottom = upset stomach (with inevitable consequences)
lawrence is in the building = AF has arrived (beforehand I get the Dermots (grumpy gardener) then the decorator arrives)
venshtables = vegetables
hop squash = beer

These are brilliant!

Malapropisms or any other funny/quirky sayings are more than welcome too!

Chocolate plums = Tunnocks teacakes

Sometimes I am not sure whether people are saying things for a joke or because they think that is the right pronunciation (eg muriel for mural, can-apes instead of can-ah-pays).

It doesn't really matter in the scheme of things but I don't want to laugh politely if there's no joke happening....

Tiddly room = Utility room

Prayshte =Pot stand (Imagine west of Ireland accent saying "put the priest in the middle of the parish" - so that the teapot would go in the middle of the table - makes sense in my DDad's head)

Yappa = TV remote

Pollution = Diluted fruit juice/Cordial

Am sure there's lots more but none come to mind now....

Acquried from the various little ones that passed through my parents' house when they were fostering. Most of the kids will be in their late teens now, but their legacy has lived on

Win-in-im: Living room
Bumpy Bees: Bumble bees
Cuddy cuds: cuddle
Dunk dunk - ketchup