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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to hand this family a list of their own shortcomings..

70 replies

TandB · 07/01/2013 10:55

...for them to consider at their leisure?

I am at a small, local softplay (yes, I know, I am probably automatically unreasonable because my brains have been scrambled by the noise and primary colour overload) where there are seats right next to an enclosed baby and toddler section. This means I can do a bit of work on my laptop while DS2 potters about a few feet away and DS1 gets on with his own thing.

We do this a fair bit and generally DS2 will be happy to play by himself for about 30 to 40 minutes, occasionally coming back to point at me and inform me that things are very "daaaaaa" and "baaaaaaa". Then when he starts getting bored I will grit my teeth and climb up the playframe with him for a little while.

DS1 is in a bit of a mood and had two timeouts within about 15 minutes of getting here. There is a family (three children, mother and both grandparents) a couple of tables away whose judgypants are clearly chafing a bit today. They don't approve of timeouts and have had a loud conversation about this. They also think it is terrible to bring your children to soft play and not spend the whole time playing with them -they have had a loud conversation about this too.

DS2 saw some tea and toast arrive and started wailing because if there is food in the vicinity he is firmly of the view it should also be in the DS2. Judgypant family immediately had a loud conversation about the fact that he wouldn't be crying if I was playing with him and clearly all he wanted was a bit of attention. This was while I was getting a high chair and DS2 was attempting to grab the toast and shovel it into his mouth.

Now, it seems to me that if you are going to judge other people loudly and at length, you probably should make pretty sure you are perfect yourselves.

So, instead of my slightly passive-agressive current approach of looking straight at them and raising my eyebrows pointedly every time they are talking about me, would I be unreasonable to type a list of the things I am judging them for and ask the centre manager to print it out for me?

So far, I have:

Letting their children go on the equipment in their shoes.
Allowing their older child to climb on the wall to the toddler section and jump off, landing about 2 inches from DS2.

Allowing their middle child to also go into the toddler bit and take toys off DS2.
Allowing their baby to poke DS2 in the eye.
Allowing their older child to climb up the slide despite the staff repeatedly asking him not to.
The really bad Christmas jumper the grandfather is wearing, despite 12th night having been and gone.

I am thinking of adding a note to say "You think I'm doing it wrong, I think you're doing it wrong. So how about you do what you like and I do what I like and everyone's happy."

Or shall I just tell them to bog off to the far side of bog? (slightly sanitised soft play version of the MN perennial favourite)

OP posts:
GoldPlatedNineDoors · 07/01/2013 10:57

They have equally valid points as you do.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 07/01/2013 10:59

God I'm glad I live too far away from any softplay centres to bother anymore.

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 07/01/2013 11:01

well I dont think softplay is a place to go on your laptop the other family are right you should be supervising your children.

HecatePropolos · 07/01/2013 11:01

The difference is they are making loud comments about the OP and she is not making loud comments about them!

Panda - just turn round and say thank you for your comments. I must have blacked out and missed the bit where you were invited to comment on my parenting. Just so we're clear - I don't care what you think. Oh. And get your kids to stop mauling mine and go and take their shoes off.

But seriously - amuse yourself by imagining the satisfaction of doing that and go buy yourself a huge slice of cake instead. Grin

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome · 07/01/2013 11:02

The timeouts alone surely how OP is supervising?

Convict224 · 07/01/2013 11:02

I ates Judgeypanters, I do. I bloomin ates em all.

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome · 07/01/2013 11:03

Also, I Grin at generally DS2 will be happy to play by himself for about 30 to 40 minutes, occasionally coming back to point at me and inform me that things are very "daaaaaa" and "baaaaaaa"

EnjoyResponsibly · 07/01/2013 11:05

Panda just write FUCK OFF in HUGE font on your laptop screen and turn it in their direction whilst you're playing with DS2.

passive agrresivity at its finest Grin

ImNotCute · 07/01/2013 11:07

YABU for saying you have your laptop to "do a bit of work" when actually you are mumsnetting Smile

Trills · 07/01/2013 11:07

What ER said

TandB · 07/01/2013 11:08

I'm supervising the timeouts because he is sitting about 6 feet away from me. And I'm supervising DS2 because my chair is about 18 inches from the foot high wall to the baby area.

I don't have a problem with people having the opinion that every waking minute should be spent actively playing with your children. I just have a problem with them imposing those views loudly upon me. Particularly since the grandparents actually, despite their loudly state views, haven't actually spent a single minute playing with the children. Whereas I have just squirmed inelegantly all the way up the Temple of Doom style play frame to go embarrassingly slowly down the slide.

[smug face]

OP posts:
urbanproserpine · 07/01/2013 11:09

I'm with Enjoyit...
Soft Play brings out the worst in everyone IMHO

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome · 07/01/2013 11:09

Oops, I meant to say "the timeouts alone surely show that OP is supervising her children"

Blush
TandB · 07/01/2013 11:10

Cute - I actually did do about ten minutes of work before giving myself up to the much more pleasurable pasttime of moaning on MN.

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 07/01/2013 11:11

do it. as long as you accept that one of them is likely to be your ds2's keyworker when he starts nursery school Grin them's the rules.

PepsiCoco · 07/01/2013 11:14

Aggressivity Grin

ArtexMonkey · 07/01/2013 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 07/01/2013 11:17

I dislike softplay. The colours and the noise and other peoples children. Its a sensory overload.

However, I judge silently. Because I am sure someone somewhere is judging me. Lets just live and let live.

Why do adults have to be constantly playing with their kids? Cant kids just be kids and go off and amuse themselves? I dont see anything wrong with being on a laptop or reading while at softplay. Im almost sure thats the intention of these places.

slartybartfast · 07/01/2013 11:18

oh go on, tell them that No shoes are allowed!!

go go gon,

TuftyFinch · 07/01/2013 11:19

Make sure you put a nice border around it. Maybe some pictures?
Ask the reception desk to laminate it.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 07/01/2013 11:19

Yanbu. They sound very discourteous and uncouth. You need to invest in a wireless printer to keep in your car boot just for occasions like this Grin

slartybartfast · 07/01/2013 11:20

parent loudly

slartybartfast · 07/01/2013 11:21

r go in the soft play area and remove their child's shoes, and/or their older child, loudly. and sweetly,

MrsHoarder · 07/01/2013 11:23

Isn't the point of softplay that its somewhere safe to let your children off-leash (as long as you keep a watchful eye)? [only has a baby]

Just blow this screen up and leave it on your laptop when you next go to rescue one of the DSs.

HullyEastergully · 07/01/2013 11:23

Challenge them to a fight in the ball pit