...for them to consider at their leisure?
I am at a small, local softplay (yes, I know, I am probably automatically unreasonable because my brains have been scrambled by the noise and primary colour overload) where there are seats right next to an enclosed baby and toddler section. This means I can do a bit of work on my laptop while DS2 potters about a few feet away and DS1 gets on with his own thing.
We do this a fair bit and generally DS2 will be happy to play by himself for about 30 to 40 minutes, occasionally coming back to point at me and inform me that things are very "daaaaaa" and "baaaaaaa". Then when he starts getting bored I will grit my teeth and climb up the playframe with him for a little while.
DS1 is in a bit of a mood and had two timeouts within about 15 minutes of getting here. There is a family (three children, mother and both grandparents) a couple of tables away whose judgypants are clearly chafing a bit today. They don't approve of timeouts and have had a loud conversation about this. They also think it is terrible to bring your children to soft play and not spend the whole time playing with them -they have had a loud conversation about this too.
DS2 saw some tea and toast arrive and started wailing because if there is food in the vicinity he is firmly of the view it should also be in the DS2. Judgypant family immediately had a loud conversation about the fact that he wouldn't be crying if I was playing with him and clearly all he wanted was a bit of attention. This was while I was getting a high chair and DS2 was attempting to grab the toast and shovel it into his mouth.
Now, it seems to me that if you are going to judge other people loudly and at length, you probably should make pretty sure you are perfect yourselves.
So, instead of my slightly passive-agressive current approach of looking straight at them and raising my eyebrows pointedly every time they are talking about me, would I be unreasonable to type a list of the things I am judging them for and ask the centre manager to print it out for me?
So far, I have:
Letting their children go on the equipment in their shoes.
Allowing their older child to climb on the wall to the toddler section and jump off, landing about 2 inches from DS2.
Allowing their middle child to also go into the toddler bit and take toys off DS2.
Allowing their baby to poke DS2 in the eye.
Allowing their older child to climb up the slide despite the staff repeatedly asking him not to.
The really bad Christmas jumper the grandfather is wearing, despite 12th night having been and gone.
I am thinking of adding a note to say "You think I'm doing it wrong, I think you're doing it wrong. So how about you do what you like and I do what I like and everyone's happy."
Or shall I just tell them to bog off to the far side of bog? (slightly sanitised soft play version of the MN perennial favourite)