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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to attend to the guests this morning

63 replies

Disaronno · 06/01/2013 11:41

Dh invited his brother and gf to dinner and sleep over. Yesterday I was a perfect host, entertained them, cleared up after dinner, as dh cooked and sorted out the blow up bed and clean sheets in the sitting room. Right now they are both awake in the sitting room alone and Dhabi is playing his games on his phone next to me and dd on bed. I'm upsetting and ddi is watching something. I already left the bedroom to have a shower and after that the gf knocked on the door asking for a. towel which I had to get up and get for her as Dhabi wouldn't move. Dhabi said he would do fry up this morning but now is asking me to do it as he want to stay in bed. I feel bad we are all in the bedroom and guests alone in the sitting room, but it was Dhabi who invited and promissed breakfast plus he is being rude to them and I'm tired of covering uo his rudness

OP posts:
HildaOgden · 06/01/2013 12:04

Oh I see he is up and cooking.

I wouldn't trust him not to spit on yours....it doesn't sound like a pleasant morning at your house.

Original poster
Disaronno · 06/01/2013 12:07

Well people now will say I'm either drip feeding or making excuses but, there is no upstairs or downstairs, it is a 2 bedroom council flat (rented privately), very small and when I finished my shower, bil was still asleep in the sitting room (open plan kitchen) and gf was reading a book and I did hear her putting the kettle on so she was feeling comfortable. She knocked on my door to ask for a towel, had shower, got ready and bil was still asleep can anyone go in the sitting room or kitchen? When Bil woke up we heard him than H asked me to wake up and do the breakfast so he can play games in bed? Hell no.

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HildaOgden · 06/01/2013 12:12

Mountain out of a molehill springs to mind.

Dh asked you to make the breakfast,you refused,he got up and made it,and is having a bit of a strop while he's at it.It really isn't worth ruining your day over,just move on.

PumpkinPositive · 06/01/2013 12:12

Is Dhabi (I rather like that) usually like this?

nearly2013 · 06/01/2013 12:12

Do you not get on with bil and gf? If you cant be bothered you should have told your dh no to inviting them or cancel it if he had already did it. Tbh I dont invite any one to stay I have enough on my plate but I wouldnt be rude if I had to do it.

diddl · 06/01/2013 12:13

I think that that post would have a better OP!

nearly2013 · 06/01/2013 12:16

They should do a wee smiley for a fry up.

nearly2013 · 06/01/2013 12:18

Make them a Brew and a Biscuit dont be lazy!

ChristmasIsForPlutocrats · 06/01/2013 12:19

I think you're getting a hard time, Disaronno. A bit of stubbornness can be in order to get a lazy git to do as agreed.... and why did he invite them in the first place, if he didn't wantvto see them? Did he want them to come just to give you extra stuff to do and provoke you?

There's a lot more to this, from the OP's tone. It's a shame for the guests, but more important things seem to be happening...

ChristmasIsForPlutocrats · 06/01/2013 12:19

I think you're getting a hard time, Disaronno. A bit of stubbornness can be in order to get a lazy git to do as agreed.... and why did he invite them in the first place, if he didn't wantvto see them? Did he want them to come just to give you extra stuff to do and provoke you?

There's a lot more to this, from the OP's tone. It's a shame for the guests, but more important things seem to be happening...

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 06/01/2013 12:19

Hiding out in your room when you have guests is beyond rude (both of you).

However, from what else you have said he sounds lazy, selfish and a bit of a pig. What do you get out of this relationship?

Proudnscaryvirginmary · 06/01/2013 12:21

Rude, the both of you

diddl · 06/01/2013 12:21

Well, maybe I´m a bad host, but I wouldn´t be skulking about in my bedroom at 11am because BIL was still asleep.

I wouldn´t be crashing around either, but if I was up & wanting breakfast it would be happening.

Inertia · 06/01/2013 12:23

When guests stay you should both be getting up and being hospitable, regardless of who invited whom. Your husband is being an arse, but it isn't fair to take it out on visitors. There is nothing to stop you getting up to do tea and toast or cereal, and telling them that DH is too busy playing with his phone to be bothered with them

CwtchesAndCuddles · 06/01/2013 12:35

You both sound like a pair of immature kids!

kinkyfuckery · 06/01/2013 12:37

Why were most of you still sleeping at 11am? Were you all on the sauce last night?

Original poster
Disaronno · 06/01/2013 14:27

Everything turned out just fine, lol, but rude or not I'm glad I didn't bend backwards to Dhabi's (lol) selfishness. He was trying to push me but I would rather do what I did than having an argument conversation later on...

OP posts:
Original poster
Disaronno · 06/01/2013 14:27

We weren't on the sauce last night if it means drunk

OP posts:
QuacksForDoughnuts · 06/01/2013 14:28

YAB a bit U, but your husband sounds worse! Best thing in these circumstances is to cook the required meal making him aware that the dishes are his job. Next time he invites family to stay make sure you have an agreement that he deals with the more inconvenient bits of extra housework. (For example if my OH has guests I'm quite happy to make a couple of extra portions at dinner, with warning, but he needs to tidy, make sure we have a clean set of sheets, do any extra shopping etc or do the equivalent in other chores to leave me time to do it)

Original poster
Disaronno · 06/01/2013 14:33

I was just getting anxious at Dhabi not getting up straight away once we knew bil was awake, even though Dhabi was awake for a while, also having the cheeky to ask me to cook breakfast when it was already agreed he was the one to do it. Well he doesn't like when I try to change plans, but he wants to change plans for his convenience

OP posts:
Original poster
Disaronno · 06/01/2013 14:35

The agreement when we have guests is that he shows off cooks and I clean the kitchen, so it has been clear for quite few years now.

OP posts:
CheCazzo · 06/01/2013 14:43

Is this the same DH that you beat shit out of the other day? Didn't you knock him unconcscious or something?

kinkyfuckery · 06/01/2013 14:44

Yep CheChazzo - I'm not surprised he didn't want to get out of bed!

CheCazzo · 06/01/2013 14:46

Who would? Grin Next thing it's a good whacking and another trip down the police station. I'm with Dhabi on this one!

Original poster
Disaronno · 06/01/2013 15:46

I was just waiting for some one to drag the other thread up tbh. This website is quickly becoming very silly now.

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