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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think "yeah you go back to bed you fucker"

38 replies

lolaflores · 06/01/2013 10:28

Up since 7.00am. In A&E since 8.00 on a nebuliser, steroids and narrowly missing an admission.
DH collects me with a shoeless DD, home, cup of coffee and then he announces he is off to bed. dd is doing the dance of the bored 5 year old and I am seriously not able to do much with her

TEETH GRINDING HERE. Shaky and upset.
Mind, he has had a headache this morning after 2 bottles of wine last night so .....
FUCK MY OLD BOOTS

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 06/01/2013 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ll31 · 06/01/2013 10:31

Turn on telly for her and relax on couch

MmmnoodlesoupIsDueXmasEve · 06/01/2013 10:32

Tell him to take some painkillers and take the kids to the park. Knob.

HecatePropolos · 06/01/2013 10:33

As an asthmatic who's been admitted many, many times, I know exactly how ill you are feeling right now!

He needs telling that his lack of care and consideration is horrible.

13Iggis · 06/01/2013 10:35

Oh dear. Next time get admitted, you'll get the rest you need and he'll have to suck it up.
I thought my h was bad as he expects a lie in at the weekend despite me being up 5 times a night with baby. I'm annoyed enough to drop the "d" and not be speaking to him. Not sure what I'd do if he went to bed after I'd been in hospital.
Hope you feel better soon.

LoopsInHoops · 06/01/2013 10:38

Crikey, please tell him. Selfish bastard.

Original poster
lolaflores · 06/01/2013 10:59

Me and her watching old horrible histories. but she is bored senseless. mind you we are playing with a tape measure now, spooling it out and letting it snap.

Just the last two days wondering about going back to work soon. Fed up to fuck with the imbalance, the self centred "me make money, me important person" and what have you. the disrespect and carelessness around what i amount to, with this just being a fucking great big example of it. He was sick last week, I changed sheets when he sweated t hem out, all nice and peaceful as he needed it.....last time ever that hgappens

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 06/01/2013 11:01

WTAF? I'd be fuming!!

Original poster
lolaflores · 06/01/2013 11:02

I feel too worn out to even fight with him, or give a shit anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
lolaflores · 06/01/2013 11:03

I have been ill since Friday and wheezing round the [place, I think he would take more notice of a piece of road kill.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 06/01/2013 11:06

Sounds like hospital would be a more favourable location for you. Arrange a relapse and get yourself admitted for a few days. He would have to take his finger out his arse then.

Although, on a serious note, why do you tolerate this ?

CailinDana · 06/01/2013 11:06

Do you think it's time to call it a day with this wanker?

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/01/2013 11:06

Um? How long has he managed to be with you and not realise how serious a condition asthma is?

I would be absolutely livid in your shoes. Having grown up with a Mum with severe asthma and now having a close friend with it,it never ceases to amaze me how blasé some people are about it.

Hope you feel better soon OP.

AnyFucker · 06/01/2013 11:08

Perhaps he doesn't "believe" in asthma. Some of these self-absorbed types don't....unless they suffer from it themselves, of course.

Or the fact that 2 people a year die of it. In the UK.

Original poster
lolaflores · 06/01/2013 11:09

As I said, I saw jobs online the other day that look doable around child care and all the rest. Get myself on my feet physically (getting over spinal surgery too) and reassert things. When we met I was a single mum, at uni and very much my own agent. a lot has changed, too much in the wrong direction. Give an inch...

OP posts:
Amothersruin · 06/01/2013 11:09

YADNBU!!!-I feel your pain. I felt dreadful yesterday-really bad cold. Dragged myself out to take kids to cinema as the film on was one they have wanted to see for ages. Dh just ignored me when I said I really didnt feel up to it. I actually had to ask one of the employees in the cinema to get me a glass of water when we came out as I felt all weak and shakyBlush

I didnt even get offered so much as a cup of tea all day yesterdayAngry I still feel awful but have had to get up this morning and wash the sink full of dirty dishes that he ignored yesterday,a huge pile of washing and will need to hoover too.

Sorry for the hijack btw! I would be taking dd up to him as another poster said with a couple of painkillers and TELLING him that he is to take her out for a few hours while you rest.

My dh thinks that he is going to be spending today playing his games AGAIN but dcs have a party later and he will be taking them. MWAH HA HA....

Veritate · 06/01/2013 11:10

There does seem to be a perception, not necessarily limited to men, that the one making the money is automatically the most important person. When I was on maternity leave with dd my (much younger) sister in law was also lodging with us, and there was a definite unstated perception both from her and dh that I was the dogsbody. When I went back to work, that shifted dramatically and it did wonders for my self-respect.

Original poster
lolaflores · 06/01/2013 11:11

He doesn't believe in alot. His face when the consultant talked us through the state of my back, the collapsed disc, empty disc, prolapsed bit and so on....i could see "oh, there is something goign on then", cross his face.
I am sick of being sick and feeling like this with a man who is obviously so short on compassion that he can't even deliver the slightest drip of it when it is needed.
I was crying in the hospital, crying here now and he just sort of stands there

OP posts:
3smellysocks · 06/01/2013 11:12

Go to bed and leave him to sort kids?

achillea · 06/01/2013 11:12

OK, dignity might be the way to go (if you can summon up the energy). Be nice as pie to your daughter - none of this is her fault, and try and enjoy being with her. Tell DP that you have to go out - and go. To the library, to the shops, to a friend's house for a good few hours. I used to go to my Mum's and have a sleep!

Original poster
lolaflores · 06/01/2013 11:13

His attitude was very different when I worked. Though when I said I was thinking about it he went all gooey and sweet. Either he doesn't want to pay child care, or realises it could be the road to "outta here" for me, or he doesn't want DD in the care of "strangers".....

OP posts:
Original poster
lolaflores · 06/01/2013 11:13

"smellysocks" that is where I am off to, just as soon as I stop feeling fighty

OP posts:
Amothersruin · 06/01/2013 11:14

Are we married to the same person lora?! My dh had me in tears the other night as we got into a heated discusssion about mental health and the use of antid's. My dh doesnt "believe" in depression and thinks people should just pull themselves together. He also knows that I had to take antid's and have had some counselling due to us losing a child. Fucking wanker!!! Angry

Original poster
lolaflores · 06/01/2013 11:18

I am bi-polar "Amothersuin", My mum thinks I am just being "bold" (an Irish ephemism for naughty and stubborn). My DH sometimes takes the same view, has not got alot of time for much. Bull in china shop attitude, which is fine if you are a single man and all of that, but less endearing when the balanc eof a family is involved.
Useless fucking arsehole. Mind you I married him

OP posts:
landofsoapandglory · 06/01/2013 11:22

Oh Lola, (hugs) to you.

My DH can be the same. I have back and pelvic problems, have had spinal surgery, multiple operations on my pelvis, can't walk unaided etc. He has 'twinged' his back, and is shuffling like an old man. I said earlier I need to do the ironing today (sat on my stool in front of the tele) he said "I'd do it, but my back won't hold out!"Hmm. It held out enough to carry the crates of beer from Tesco to the car yesterday!

Hope you get better soon.xxx