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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be cheesed off that my meal has been chosen for me?

74 replies

NickNacks · 05/01/2013 15:58

I may be overreacting...

We're off for a family meal (in laws) to a buffet style Chinese restaurant. Although its someone else's birthday we are paying for ourselves.

The person who booked the table (not birthday person) has just text to say the first two courses have been ordered for us 'for ease'. It's a fucking buffet place, that's the ease surely?

I'm stroppy now because I'm fussy and I bet I don't like anything that has been chosen. Why why why???

AIBU?

OP posts:

BluelightsAndSirens · 05/01/2013 16:42

That is pretty out f order actually and I've got it sorted is not what you asked

Is this person normally so controlling?

2beornot · 05/01/2013 16:44

I don't think YABU at all.

I'd just hope that as its a Chinese buffet the first two courses are a selection of starters and duck w pancakes.

Hope it works out ok

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 05/01/2013 16:46

that is weird! If they wont tell you what they have ordered just call the restaurant and find out. I wouldnt be happy if someone ordered for me and then didnt tell me what I was going to eat.

KenLeeeeeee · 05/01/2013 16:47

What's the point of going to a buffet place if your food has already been chosen by someone else? I'd be pretty about that at a regular restaurant for that matter.

YABU for making me need Chinese food btw.

everlong · 05/01/2013 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ToomuchheuchatendofHogmanay · 05/01/2013 16:52

I would be pissed off at both the ordering and the arrogant second text.

Andro · 05/01/2013 16:53

I'd be very unhappy tbh, it's more than a little rude - especially as you're paying - and blatantly doesn't take account of any dietary issues (allergies etc).

girlynut · 05/01/2013 16:53

Depends if it's a buffet where you go up and help yourself or one where you can just order as much as you want from the menu for a set price.

I don't think it's that odd. Whenever we go out to the local "all you can eat" chinese, we just get a selection of mixed starters so everybody has a bit of everything and then the duck & pancake rolls.

I'm sure if you wanted something other than spring rolls, satay chicken, BBQ spare ribs, sesame prawn toast and seaweed, you can simply add to the order when you get there!!

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/01/2013 16:54

Its weird.

But then again if my friend and I go out to eat and meet there who ever arrives first orders for both. But we then text the order to the other.

We do it because we got in a rut always having the same things so we both decided to do that. And occasionally I have been known to go to my fav restaurant and just ask the waiter to surprise me with something interesting.

But to do it without prior arrangements and on behalf of someone ese then not say what it is. Is weird and rude.

girlynut · 05/01/2013 16:54

And now DP is pissed off because I want Chinese and not an Indian tonight!

SantasENormaSnob · 05/01/2013 16:55

That text would infuriate me further tbh.

Under control for who? Cheeky fucker.

I would either have to know and be able to reorder, not pay as I couldn't eat what was ordered or not go at all.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 05/01/2013 16:55

That reply is seriously annoying. If they had just texted back to say it was the mixed platter and then the duck then at least you'd know.

I'd be annoyed too. I'm doing WW at the minute and I'd have the soup because it has less points, all that deep fried stuff is inho tasteless and not worth the calories.

Enjoy

ihearsounds · 05/01/2013 16:57

I would phone the people up and tell them to unorder my food. I am not stupid and more than capable of ordering my own food. I would be asking them why they have to be so controlling, and I simply I am not paying for food I do not want.
Can you tell I dont like people ordering for me. I like to choose when I am there.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 05/01/2013 16:58

If its a buffet place theb the first two courses will be soup and duck pancakes - some places only do these before the buffet if you order.

Calm down.

ChaoticintheNewYear · 05/01/2013 16:58

YANBU I'd be pissed off if someone else tried to dictate what I would be eating, especially if I was paying for it.

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 05/01/2013 17:00

Phone the restaurant and find out what the situation is, it will be quicker. If you find you need to, change your order. and change the controlling idiot's order to omelette and chips

DontmindifIdo · 05/01/2013 17:04

Call the person arranging - say yo'ud like to know what's been ordered as if it's something you can't eat you'll have to order something else and you might not be prepared to pay for two lots of food. Get them on the phone, not text, if they refuse to tell you, pull out of the meal. Or call the restaurant and ask. (Claim allergies, the restaurant should be happy to tell you)

squeakytoy · 05/01/2013 17:05

If its a buffet it will be a set price per person no matter how much you order, so just add to it when you get there. It wont make any difference to the price.

Blu · 05/01/2013 17:09

Pull out of the meal?

Goodness.

OP, you are over-reacting. It would be more helpful if the person who booked had explained in more detail, but give them a break, it is hell trying to co-ordinate big parties when the restaurant want orders in advance (which they often do).

I bet the first two courses are also a choice. You know, 'Menu a for 12 people'.

And if you don't like the starters, you can always eat extra buffet and make yourself 2 first courses from that. You won't end up short changed.

Don't create difficulty over a family occasion.

ihearsounds · 05/01/2013 17:11

If they are extra's not from the buffet it will make a difference to the price.

EuroShagmore · 05/01/2013 17:12

I suspect the first two courses are a selection of deep fried things and crispy duck. I think you are overreacting.

LunaticFringe · 05/01/2013 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

NickNacks · 05/01/2013 17:18

It's DH family so he's a bit weedy reluctant to start a barny. Alright for him because he eats everything. Also taking 3dc with us so bill will be higher for us than anyone else. It is priced per person so I may just ignore and order my own choice anyway.

Leaving shortly so we'll find out...

OP posts:

Bosgrove · 05/01/2013 17:26

That's really annoying, at least at the restaurant you can add to the order.

The last time I went to one of my friends houses for a takeaway, I got there to find another of the guests had already ordered the meal for all of us and I liked none of the dishes (not even the rice as I hate prawns and she ordered special fried rice). She said that she had ordered at her house to save time before she came and couldn't remember what she had ordered but was sure we would all be happy with her choices.

It wasn't my best evening and I was still expected to pay my share and spent the evening seething....now I make sure that we go out to eat.

chunkydory · 05/01/2013 17:27

I'm ashamed to say I'd be pissed off. I will eat pretty much anything but I suffer anxiety and I'm greedy. I'd spend the whole meal worrying what I was missing out on.
Seriously though, isn't it arrogant to take away your food choices? They'd have been better off pretending that their chosen selection is the only option for a group booking. at least that way nobody would know any different. I echo what another posted suggested, why don't you phone or pop in and find out what those options include and make your own changes if necessary?

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