Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think don't have children and then moan non stop about it

32 replies

shebird · 05/01/2013 15:56

We have some friends with 2 DCs both planned and longed for. Both DCs are happy, healthy and well behaved also pretty good sleepers (as much as you can expect young kids to be). All they do is moan about their children, how hard life is and how they can't do what they used to do. The mum is always needing a break and her poor DH is exhausted trying to work and help out, giving her lots of time to herself and is very hands on. She does not have PND and seems very together but never happy with what she's got.

I sympathise with them to a point I'm prone to a moan and whine myself but with these parents it's non stop. They just never have a positive thing to say and seem to think they have it so bad. It just makes me wonder why they decided to have kids in the first place, not once but twice!

OP posts:
SminkoPinko · 05/01/2013 15:57

Maybe see them less often if they're annoying you?

HollyBerryBush · 05/01/2013 15:58

Some people just don't do babies. Lets face it, they are boring little creatures until they can hold a conversation Grin

MrsBW · 05/01/2013 16:01

YANBU

dashoflime · 05/01/2013 16:02

YANBU

Negative people are so bloody draining aren't they?

cocoachannel · 05/01/2013 16:04

Did you know then before DCs - are they generally many anyway?

Snog · 05/01/2013 16:04

Avoid them if they annoy you
Life's too short

InNeedOfBrandy · 05/01/2013 16:05

YANBU although dc can be very irritating and I love that they are in school most days Grin

CanIHaveAPetGiraffePlease · 05/01/2013 16:05

Sounds like they're finding it tough. You never know how you'll find having kids until you have them.

Ginshizz · 05/01/2013 16:06

YANBU

It's not like you'd expect DCs to be a peaceful addition to your life who spread serenity, order and tasteful decor as they waft around quietly.

Or am I going wrong somewhere...? Grin

Also, surely moaning about them just makes people less likely to want to babysit?

LoopsInHoops · 05/01/2013 16:09

You sounds like a great friend. Hmm And particulalry unsupportive of the woman. Why?

'help out' Hmm

Original poster
shebird · 05/01/2013 16:09

Hard to avoid them for various reasons otherwise I would. I knew them before DCs and they were not as moany but were always jumping from one thing to the next as if in a quest to make life perfect. Never satisfied i guess it's still like that.

OP posts:
Fakebook · 05/01/2013 16:10

I don't know why this would annoy you unless you are having trouble conceiving. Sometimes it's nice to vent to someone who also has children for support, but it doesn't mean you resent or hate your babies. Sometimes if someone doesn't have children, people may stupidly vent to them trying to make out they're not missing out on anything.

If they're doing the latter, then yanbu.

ThePathanKhansWitch · 05/01/2013 16:12

Why is it always the poor husband?

Presumably he wanted children as well.

Original poster
shebird · 05/01/2013 16:14

I am and have been as supportive as I can to these friends. I help out as much as possible but considering that I also have DCs , I work and she doesn't I can only help so much which mostly by being a sympathetic ear but patience wearing thin now.

OP posts:
timidviper · 05/01/2013 16:17

Every time they complain, counter it with a positive statement. Once you've trilled "but life would be soooo dull without the little darlings!" or "I find I accomplish sooo much more if I don't lie in in the mornings!" a few times they'll either buck themselves up or decide you irritate them so much they don't want to see you any more which will solve the problem Grin

thebody · 05/01/2013 16:17

I hate perpetual moaners ax they do it out of habit.

If they were my friends I would say something like, ' god your always moaning about your kids, shut up' .

Hate hate whinging whiners though I like radiator people and avoid drain people.

halcyondays · 05/01/2013 16:25

Why do you talk about her dh being hands on as if it was a bad thing? Confused

dashoflime · 05/01/2013 16:37

"I hate perpetual moaners ax they do it out of habit."

Yes this ^^

Its different when people are having genuine difficulties and looking for help. Judging from the OP, it does sound like these are more habit moaners though

Its negativity for the sake of it with some people.

TraineeBabyCatcher · 05/01/2013 17:14

I have sacked off a fairly good friend because I got so fed up with her constant woe is me.
My life is hard, my life is harder than yours, everything happens to me, my life is so so terribly hard.
And then every time you said you were having trouble with something/struggling she always had to have something comparable but harder.
And yet never helped herself when given the opportunity.
I gave up in the end.

JustAHolyFool · 05/01/2013 17:17

I am very bored of moaning bastards as well. I am a bit of a moaning bastard myself, but I am trying to stop.

But especially on the topic of children: I mean, no-one forces you to have children. It's not quite the same as moaning about your job, because you don't have much choice except to have one.

amirah85 · 05/01/2013 17:37

For the same very reason I have a big clear out of friends coming up!can't stand negative moany people,they suck all life out of u.tried to do the "counter with a positive statement"but doesn't work :-(

Original poster
shebird · 05/01/2013 19:15

My main issue is this couple were in shock and moaning about the total life style change after having DC1 but then went to great length to have DC2 and yes guessed it more moaning. They are financially secure, nice house, healthy kids and I just want I shake them and say 'your life is so good guys compared to lots of people you have it easy - quit moaning'!! I guess I'm just a lass half full person.

OP posts:
Original poster
shebird · 05/01/2013 19:16

Sorry glass half full person!

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 05/01/2013 19:17

YANBU. Permanently negative people are a pain in the arse.

3smellysocks · 05/01/2013 19:22

Some people do find it harder going having kids. Either you are a real friend and will support them or you are not and withdraw. It's up to you.