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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make rules for the children only to not keep them myself?

47 replies

aaaaagh · 04/01/2013 12:03

We have Sweetie Saturday - the idea being that it stops the incessant questioning of 'Can I have sweets?' all week and then they can eat as much rubbish as they like on Saturday without asking. They are really good about giving me the sweets they get given by other children at school, for me to keep for them until Saturday. (I am not mean and often let them eat them there and then - but at least it means I have some control). However I eat sweets and chocolate all the time.....ALL the time.

OP posts:
RobotLover68 · 04/01/2013 12:10

YABU

My kids are not allowed coke - I love coke but I don't drink it either as I made the rule

Sirzy · 04/01/2013 12:15

Do you eat them in front of the children?

I think as adults a bit of bending of rules in alright, but if your trying to implement rules with children you should do the same yourself.

atacareercrossroads · 04/01/2013 12:17

Yanbu, we all tell our kids not to do stuff we do ourselves. Just don't let them see you scoffing Grin

AllDirections · 04/01/2013 12:19

I tell my children that they have to be adults to have the right to ruin their own bodies. Whilst I'm responsible for their health I'll decide what they eat/drink (within reason)

I'm an adult so can put into my body whatever I want because I'm responsible for my own health. But I generally wouldn't eat/drink things in front of them if they weren't allowed them.

yfuwchhapus · 04/01/2013 12:20

I am guilty of this. We have a no swearing rule in this house..as most I can imagine!! Sometimes I do slip up and say "oh sh*t" only for my DD with ASD to give me perfect eye contact and say "oh bother".

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 04/01/2013 12:27

No YANBU - you are the adult. However, I myself, wouldn't eat sweets in front of them or drink coke (I don't anyway unless it has rum in it!!) as I think that's mean.

OTOH - I wouldn't allow a child to tell me what I could and couldn't do - so if I did have something they aren't allowed, I would not tolerate them saying 'it's not Sweetie Saturday!' or whatever.

I know this isn't what you are asking either... but I'll plough on anyway Grin I can see why you have SS and why it probably seems like a fab solution BUT I don't actually think having 'binge' days/times is good. I'd put up with whinging over risking an unhealthy relationship to 'food'. How do you think they'd react to you saying 'OK - I've been thinking about this and I don't think eating a lot of sweets on a Saturday is good for us, I'd prefer you to just have a few when you really want them - do you think you can be trusted to have them when you want, but not eat too many?' and see how that goes for a little while? Self moderation is a good skill to learn.

lljkk · 04/01/2013 12:29

sorry, yabu, whatever reason there is for the children to have to exert self-control until Saturday should apply to you too.

Sweets are just as bad for your pocketbook & your teeth.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 04/01/2013 12:31

Oh I have no problem in saying 'this is only for adults' - so for example if I drank coke I wouldn't have any problem drinking it in front of the children but telling them it's only for adults.

I certainly would not be having a 'house rule' about not swearing/whatever - I am the adult, they are the children. I make the rules for the children - they do not make them for me.

PandaNot · 04/01/2013 12:31

YANBU. I often explain that there are different rules for adults than there are for children and the reasons for them, much like a pp.

Original poster
aaaaagh · 04/01/2013 12:50

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights - My kids idea of a lot of sweets isn't that many! So although it sounds like they are bingeing all day there is only so many sweets you can buy for the pound I give them to go to the shops! (and my 'all the time' is probably a lot of people's occasionally!)
I don't eat them in front of them! (Although they have been known to catch me!) I have watched their friends go to the fridge and help themselves to anything they want without asking and even when they've been told 'no'. My lot always ask me if they can have a biscuit/snack and how many. They're teacher offered them a chocolate as a reward and they told her they would have to ask me. If I followed the same rule I think my mum would think it strange to be phoned during Corrie to be asked if her 40 something year old daughter can have a choccy!
My lot know adults make the rules - I also tell them, with a smile that I make the rules for them, and if they stick to them and they ask nicely, I may let them break them.

OP posts:
everlong · 04/01/2013 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Megatron · 04/01/2013 12:57

I do this all the time. Blush In my defence I don't do it in front of the children, I just hide in cupboards and stuff my face if the desperate need arises. Same with coke, I never let the children have it but on the rare occasion we have it in the house, I drink it.

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake · 04/01/2013 12:59

Yanbu

I'm an adult - it's my body to abuse with sweets or alcohol - as a child they lack the cognitive ability to make those decisions - so I make it for them.

Pandemoniaa · 04/01/2013 13:01

We had a sweets on Saturday rule too when the dcs were small - exceptions were made for parties and other special days too, though but they were exceptions not an inconsistent habit. They didn't get enough sweet money for a binge but they did stop asking for sweets every time we walked past the corner shop. I didn't apply the same rule to me but I didn't scoff sweets in front of them either.

Megatron · 04/01/2013 13:01

I also walk about whilst brushing my teeth, eat on the go and have seconds when I am already full. I was never allowed to do these things as a child so I'll bloody well do them now dammit!

5madthings · 04/01/2013 13:06

Yanbu, I do this but don't eat them in front of the children. I do however drink coke in front if the, the elder three are allowed coke occasionally as a treat, they seem quite happy with this.

Original poster
aaaaagh · 04/01/2013 13:07

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake and Megatron - I love you both. x

OP posts:
Original poster
aaaaagh · 04/01/2013 13:07

their^

OP posts:
Megatron · 04/01/2013 13:10

I fear I have reached a new low today though aaaaagh as I have eaten the last of the Freddo bars. They are not mine, they belong to the children so I do feel suitably ashamed. Off to the corner shop for me this afternoon to redeem myself.

Original poster
aaaaagh · 04/01/2013 13:11

Megatron - I still owe my DS a Galaxy....I think he's forgotten.

OP posts:
everlong · 04/01/2013 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Megatron · 04/01/2013 13:13

Do as I say and not as I do? EXACTLY everlong! Grin

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/01/2013 13:13

YABU I'm afraid. You should stick to the rules too I think

Original poster
aaaaagh · 04/01/2013 13:14

NO! everlong - I don't do it in front of them! That would be evil!

OP posts:
FunnysInLaJardin · 04/01/2013 13:15

hypocrite! thats the word I was looking for Grin