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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up with too many toys and too much stuff in the house...

39 replies

Maffy · 03/01/2013 21:33

Sorry if this sounds really unappreciative/spoilt, but our DS and DD are very lucky to receive presents, practically throughout the year, and our house is cluttered with stuff, much of which is hardly used or needed.

I have a clear out reguarly but feel very guilty getting rid of stuff (to charity etc) just to make room for new.

I tried really hard with family and friends before Christmas to suggest one ideal, small gift, but several still bought slightly ill-suited 'big presents' - including a toy drum kit from a friend of a distant relative...

We really cut down on presents to our children this Christmas and they were still delighted, but we feel really mean compared to others. I'm not brave enough to return presents to sender either.

So does anyone have any advice how to stem the flow of toys and stuff into the home, please?!

I could spend months listing on ebay the stuff in our attic, but cannot find time!

OP posts:
CanIHaveAPetGiraffePlease · 03/01/2013 21:37

Pass them on to appreciative others? me

We don't have the same problem as fairly broke but we're in a small house so declutter regularly. We looked at say jigsaws and chose the 5 best add passed others on. Similarly with stuffed toys etc.Can you buy less throughout the year?

stifnstav · 03/01/2013 21:43

Regifting will help but you need to make sure you don't regift within the same social circle IYSWIM?

cakebar · 03/01/2013 21:46

Ask for practical things like clothes, equipment for hobbies. Ask for experiences like panto trips, bowling vouchers, cinema vouchers etc. Ask for consumable things like craft stuff, sticker books, bath bombs....

When the stuff comes, take anything that you think they won't play with or is a duplicate or unsuitable for whatever reason and keep that for re-gifting for parties, if you feel guilty put some cash in an account for them as you would need to pay for party gifts.

Also take out anything that can be returned to a shop for a credit and spend it on something else you need, again you can credit kid's account.

Do you give big stuff to others? If you give small gifts perhaps others might reduce theirs down. Is there anyone you can have a frank conversation with (maybe someone in the same boat) and ask that you don't swop gifts? Maybe you could all go for a day out instead?

ChristmasIsForPlutocrats · 03/01/2013 21:55

"friend of a distant relative...

Are you sure this is a friend, or, indeed, a distant relative? Could be a stealth ploy by one of your closer relatives, to sneak more crap to your deprived mites. My MIL has a "friend" who's randomly given us some stuff for the DC (incl a twee My First Curl and My First Tooth set, FFS, as tthough those two things can be collected together, rather than yearsapart!). Meanwhile my DM has friends (whom I've actually met - phew!) who also give us stuff, but that just makes me feek obliged rather than questionibg their existence

Your rellies are resisting, OP!

BabysPointlessPocket · 03/01/2013 22:11

When we lived in a tiny 1 bed flat with no garden, ds1 received presents, a trike (similar to smart trike with long parent handle, a slide, a toy drum kit. These people (family) knew where we lived and how limited space was. So I told them to keep the gifts at their houses so that ds had something to play with when we visited them as we had no room, it worked! The gifts the following year were remarkably smaller.

pamish · 03/01/2013 22:13

Ask for Oxfam vouchers. Then they can buy a poo digester to give to someone elsewhere who needs it more.

PoppyWearer · 03/01/2013 22:15

If it's any consolation, we received a toy drum kit as an unasked-for present a few years back. A few play dates later, it was broken enough that DCs didn't want it any more, but still usable, so it went to the great charity shop in the sky...

I am now very firm with everyone that we only want money and we use it to buy Merlin passes/days out.

Happypiglet · 03/01/2013 22:23

If you haven't got time to eBay and money is not the issue then I would suggest free cycling your attic contents! It's all collect only and people are generally very grateful and it gives me a warm glow! Much less hassle than eBay.
I do sympathise tho. My DC have far too much stuff but are also terrible hoarders... It's a disastrous combination!

rogersmellyonthetelly · 03/01/2013 22:33

We have a toy clearout a month before Christmas and again before birthdays. Anything thats not played with at least once a week goes in the charity bag, anything broken/bits missing goes in the bin. I am very strict about this otherwise we would be over run with plastic tat.

yummymumtobe · 03/01/2013 22:37

A nice thing to do is to donate toys to local charities who will give them directly to needy families and children who don't have so much. You can do that with pressies from people who may not come to your house to know that the toy was passed on! It clears your home but also will be nice to know that your very lucky children have shared what they don't need

ChristmasIsForPlutocrats · 03/01/2013 22:41

DS was watching Toy Story 2 today, and that bastard film made a yard sale of toys into something akin to a concentration camp! Evil Nazi decluttering mum... Talk about emotive... Hmm

pamish · 03/01/2013 22:48

First world problems.

ChristmasIsForPlutocrats · 03/01/2013 22:53

Fancy First World people wanting to reject consumerism!

burntcake · 03/01/2013 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pumpkinsweetieMasPudding · 03/01/2013 22:56

It has just been Christmas, i'm sure te dc are happy to have such a lovely array of giftsSmile
Clutter is to be expected at Christmas, don't worry about i don't.
Top tip, get dc to push their toys under the bed when not in use Grin, problem solved.

Ragwort · 03/01/2013 22:59

Just give the presents away to a charity shop/refuge etc. Be totally strict with grandparents, friends - stating something like 'our children have far too many toys, please don't give them any more, if you really want to give them something charity gifts/vouchers/clothes/savings (whatever is appropriate) would be appreciated but we cannot keep any more toys in the house so they will have to be given away'. Grin.

I have never, ever allowed my DS to 'accumulate' crap toys, he doesn't appear to be hard done by and no one has ever been offended (probably relieved that they don't have to go into ToysRUs or any other hideous childrens' store).

Damash12 · 03/01/2013 23:02

Totally agree and Ds has played more with a toy he got ages ago than any of his Xmas stuff. Grandad asked what he could get him and we said tickets to walking with dinosaurs... Ds thrilled and can't stop talking about it and it's not til May so something to look forward too and the tickets take up very little room!!'

nannyof3 · 03/01/2013 23:07

Give to mother and baby refuge's....

I collected 178 presents for my local refuge in December and this year, i am collected 2nd hand stuff for another refuge....

Look up 'womans aid' and ur local one

rainbowsprite1 · 03/01/2013 23:08

Maybe suggest to people what to get? I spent all december suggesting to rellies that the DD's wanted more socks, warm fleeces etc etc etc & book tokens. they love book tokens & adore a special trip out to the bookshop to choose their new books

ChristmasIsForPlutocrats · 03/01/2013 23:08

God knows, they will have little enough money as young adults, when they will need it!

bamboostalks · 03/01/2013 23:10

What problems on mn are not first world problems fgs?

nellyjelly · 03/01/2013 23:11

Tell me someone please why 'first world problem' pops up. Are we only allowed to discuss really very serious issues then?

Who decides what a first world problem is then? FFS, let people post what they like ( within reason).

LimeLeafLizard · 03/01/2013 23:12

Cakebar's advice is good.

We give a lot of unwanted gifts to charity, try to keep in the original packaging if possible so things are worth more to them.

Also agree that talking to relatives about this is a good idea. Having spoken to my Mum, she is going to treat us all to a day out at the zoo in the spring instead of buying Xmas presents. My Dad gives cash for their savings accounts. We bought DS a magazine subscription and gave money to his chosen charity.

And of course it is a first world problem, but there must be another side to this problem that does also affect other parts of the world - more plastic in landfill, more scare minerals mined by exploited workers who churn out pollution into rivers in other continents etc. There is nothing 'fancy' about seeing that unnecessary consumption is stupid and harmful.

petitfromage · 03/01/2013 23:23

Totally agree re ridiculous 'first world problems' comment. I'm a passionate supporter of third world issues (written university papers on impact of big companies on the third world over the years...) but I've got a DS who turns 5 tomorrow. He has a little mountain of presents to work his way through as although I know it's consumerism it's also my one annual excuse to spoil him (I don't buy much at Christmas as he gets loads from others then) and buy him a few things that I have heard him ask for and things that I hope might bring him pleasure.

Each to their own, clear out the house regularly to give to unused toys away to a good charity but let your dcs discover the joy of really loving a favourite toy that they own and playing with it repeatly over the years.

Incidentally one of DS's favourite toys is his 'junk modelling box' household crap he builds 'robots' out of. Says it all really. Might take back that Optimus prime after all....

petitfromage · 03/01/2013 23:26

Oh and totally agree with limeleaf that passes, days out are great gifts. Also lessons (riding, guitar, dance, ski, whatever...) are great presents