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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why do people feel the need to tell you

71 replies

VitoCorleone · 03/01/2013 09:45

...."ive just come on my period"

Why do i need to know this info?? Shopping with my cousin yesterday and she nipped to the loo and when she came out thats what she said. I sorta went "erm ok, do you need tampons?" she said "no ive got one in my bag"

Eh?

Also a couple of months ago at a friends house she came out of the loo and said "ive had piles for a few days now and one is bleeding"

Why tell me this???

Am i the only one who doesnt share this sort of info?!

OP posts:

awaywego1 · 03/01/2013 11:05

I would mention my period to a close friend if it was relevant-eg I was tired/grumpy/in pain. I find it odd that you wouldn't feel comfortable discussing it. With my closest friend I was her birthing partner so it'd be worrying if we couldn't. We often joke that nothing is out of bounds now

purrpurr · 03/01/2013 11:08

I wonder if the people who think talking about periods is vomit-worthy are the ones who (in a fred before Christmas) wouldn't ever dream of letting a friend put a wrapped up used sanitary towel in their bathroom bin? Buncha weridos.

PavlovtheCat · 03/01/2013 11:12

away like that for me too, my bf was my birthing partner along with DH, she is a nurse though, so I know gross is no biggie for her. She was amazing at my birth, she helped practically, changing sheets etc while DH and I bonded with DD. She could not help seeing DD come out, she would not have missed that for the world she said! And then, to top it off, she came into theatre with me while I had my placenta removed manually, so certainly for me and her there are no boundaries any more

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome · 03/01/2013 11:12

purrpurr I think that most people who find discussing periods uncomfortable are probably that way because that's how they've been taught to see periods. Especially from some different more misogynistic cultures, there's a whole taboo about periods being dirty, which can be hard to break free from, even when you're an adult yourself.

It can be done though!

BunFagFreddie · 03/01/2013 11:15

Mentioning your period isn't the same as giving someone a detailed account of it.

awaywego1, I'll mention it to a close friend or family member if I feel really rank and the pains are really bad. Just so they know I'm not in a mood with them iyswim.

squeakytoy · 03/01/2013 11:23

I wouldnt tell a random stranger who I happened to chat with at the till or a bus stop, but have no issues discussing it with my close mates and family. Its a normal bodily function, not a contageous disease.

awaywego1 · 03/01/2013 11:39

Pavlov-I had a similar experience I saw things no woman without kids yet should see wouldn't have missed it for the world tho!

BunFagFreddie · 03/01/2013 11:39

Serious question for people who think it's disgusting to mention a period.

How do you cope with people telling you they have had a baby? Giving birth is at least 15x more disgusting!

Also, what about people mentioning they've had the norovirus, changing nappies or visiting someone in hospital who has a catheter fitted?

PavlovtheCat · 03/01/2013 11:42

away oh yes, luckily she has a child already, and as I said, a nurse so not unused to a bit of gore maybe we are just lucky to have those kind of relationships where a period being mentioned is nothing at all

PlainoldWitchesTit · 03/01/2013 11:52

I told the lady in the shoe shop I needed a wee yesterday.

Sometimes these things just get blurted out.

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome · 03/01/2013 11:56

Bunfagfreddie I can't speak for everyone who finds periods disgusting but in my case, it was that they were culturally associated with being dirty in a way that nappies, sickness and giving birth were not. My previous discomfort with it wasn't to do with the blood, but more to do with the shame and embarrassment that I'd been brought up to associate with it.

BunFagFreddie · 03/01/2013 12:14

Thanks WeeWeeWee . It's not that birth is disgusting as such, it's just more messy than periods.

boomting · 03/01/2013 12:59

There is such a thing as too much information!

I once had an acquaintance (I'd only met him once or twice at that point) who announced to me that he was a virgin

idococktailshedoesbeer · 03/01/2013 13:50

One of my DS is constantly talking about her period, she always seem to be on it. Far TMI she gives me.

Not bothered about people at work asking for a tampon etc. Or close friends moaning about how shit periods are. I just don't want masses of detail.

idococktailshedoesbeer · 03/01/2013 13:50

DSis, obviously...

Fakebook · 03/01/2013 14:01

Yanbu! Why would you mention your bleeding piles to anyone in RL? (Have mentioned them plenty of times on here on the pregnancy board, and must say, it was bloody scary the first it happened to me).

smoothieooo · 03/01/2013 16:13

I had a friend who not only mentioned when she had her period but at what stage she was at those with a delicate constitution look away now i.e. 'I'm really heavy today, at the 'chopped liver' stage'.

I also have a work colleague who, in the middle of a conversation will suddenly say 'must go and do a poo'. I must be the lowest of the low though, as neither announcement bothers me in the slightest

BunFagFreddie · 03/01/2013 16:21

Seeing as DP asked me to pull his finger on our third date and I laughed, I must be down there with you smoothie. I had a woman's problem and had to ask my friend if it was normal and if I should make an appointment with my GP.

Writehand · 03/01/2013 16:23

I'd rather not hear too much detail. Used to know a woman who would say stuff about clots and how she'd bled right through a pad... I didn't know her v well, and have to say I found it a bit off putting.

People are very different about this sort of thing. I've got a really good friend who tells me about her bowel habits. I'd rather not know, but that's normal for her. I've known families who expressed their close relaxed home by farting, and then laughing about it, while watching TV or hanging out. To them it was a sign of intimacy. I couldn't cope with that, but again it was normal for them.

None of it's "wrong" it's just different people share different stuff. How you react to it - or I react to it - isn't "wrong" either.

3smellysocks · 03/01/2013 17:12

I quite like it if close friends tell me that sort of thing. Means they can talk freely. Nothing really tuns my tummy.

sadsong · 04/01/2013 18:05

That attitude about piles prevented me from going to the dr about mine for 10 yrs. It also got me into a frenzy when I had to have z camera up my arse! I think you should lighten up. I wish I had a long-time ago. I'm going for a banding op on mine (cancelled day before yesterday) but rebooked for march. Perhaps if people weren't so buttoned up I wouldn't have suffered for a decade in silence.

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