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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why do people feel the need to tell you

71 replies

VitoCorleone · 03/01/2013 09:45

...."ive just come on my period"

Why do i need to know this info?? Shopping with my cousin yesterday and she nipped to the loo and when she came out thats what she said. I sorta went "erm ok, do you need tampons?" she said "no ive got one in my bag"

Eh?

Also a couple of months ago at a friends house she came out of the loo and said "ive had piles for a few days now and one is bleeding"

Why tell me this???

Am i the only one who doesnt share this sort of info?!

OP posts:

Fairenuff · 03/01/2013 10:19

I had to pop to the loo at a really inconvenient time at work, so I just let my boss know discreetly - sorry, female emergency. She obviously took this as an invitation to share and spent several minutes explaining how she got caught in a similar predicament at a most inappropriate time and place. Full details. I really did not need to know! Maybe it's just empathising?

CloudsAndTrees · 03/01/2013 10:22

Your friend telling you about her piles is a bit too much information, I can't say I'd want to know that!

But telling a friend that I like enough to go shopping with that you are on a period isn't a big deal, that's just normal chit chat in my mind.

PavlovtheCat · 03/01/2013 10:23

oh god, you have just made sure that my sanctuary of talking to my good friends about certain issues I have with my health will never be used again. For all I know you might be one of my friends. Cheers for putting it out there.
Did you throw up a little bit in your mouth there and then, obviously? did you say 'yew!' or did you say something really nice and supportive and think 'oh poor friend, piles must be fucking awful'. I hope to god she now knows not to talk to you about intimate things again.

And thank the fuck you are not my cousin. Imagine only being able to talk about the weather with your family.

As for periods. They are not 'the devil' or black magic. they are something that perhaps around half of the entire world have, around once a month, no biggie.

samandi · 03/01/2013 10:25

I don't have any female friends who come out with that kind of thing ...

PavlovtheCat · 03/01/2013 10:26

samandi maybe they know you too well...

PavlovtheCat · 03/01/2013 10:28

OP, you did tell them you don't them sharing that stuff didn't you? As obviously they feel comfortable in your presence to tell you, especially piles. Periods, that's quite flippant, but piles is actually really embarrassing, so to talk about it indicates comfortableness. So you must make sure they know, or else they will keep doing it and keep on embarrassing themselves.

Original poster

VitoCorleone · 03/01/2013 10:29

Palov - of course i didnt say "eww" to my friend, i said "are you ok" and asked if she'd been to the docs.

Im sure not everyone would feel queezy about it, but stuff like that makes ME feel queezy.

OP posts:

Fedupnagging · 03/01/2013 10:32

I am only 5ft, does that make me a low woman?

OrangeLily · 03/01/2013 10:32

My Mum does this and so much detail about flow/cramps/moods. Does my head in!! I think because its randomly just chucked in to a conversation where it doesn't belong. She won't stop when asked so it feels like my ear is being assaulted.

Normally i couldn't care less if someone mentioned it!

Casmama · 03/01/2013 10:34

I'm not bothered by the occasional mention but do find it weird when people post references to it on Facebook.

HullyEastergully · 03/01/2013 10:36

I dont ever want to know anything about anyone's front and rear bottom activities. just no.

bleedingheart · 03/01/2013 10:36

I have horrendous periods and often mention it to close friends or family as I like them to know why I am washed out and talking gibberish.

It isn't a big deal is it? I mean we're not back in the days when bad PMT got you put in an asylum?

To mention piles to someone you have to feel very comfortable OR worried!

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome · 03/01/2013 10:37

I used to feel embarrassed, ashamed and angry when people started talking about periods. My family, and my mum in particular, used to be fearful of leaving any sanitary products out and generally treated it like something that was shameful.

I've had to work really hard at conditioning myself to find periods not shameful but normal and if I have a daughter, I'll be open and honest about periods - they're a fact of life and not anything to be scared of.

TheMonster · 03/01/2013 10:37

I don't mention it and I don't really see the need for others to either.

SPsFanjoHasSatelliteNavigation · 03/01/2013 10:38

I text my friend today saying the blob has arrived and i feel like shit. She does the same if asked how she is.

Periods are not dirty and its not like she announced it yo a shopping centre.

TheMonster · 03/01/2013 10:38

Weewee, that's how I was taught to think about it too.

Lavenderhoney · 03/01/2013 10:41

There is a woman at the local toddler group who updates anyone she happens to be talking to on the status of her monthly cycle, pmt, flow etc. she usually adds changes to her breasts as well for maximum sharing. We also know details of her sex life. She likes to share:) i let her finish and then return to the topic of conversation before she blurted out the current installment.

Me- have you ever been to Spain?
Her- yes, ran out of tampons on the plane, leaked on my dress. Hahaha
Me- did you stay in a nice hotel?
Her- yes, we had loads of sex once my period finished. It was a real nightmare with swimming and my white bikini.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 03/01/2013 10:46

"bitch plops"!! Hahahaha!

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome · 03/01/2013 10:50

I still find that my initial reaction when people talk about periods is sometimes one of "why are you telling me your dirty secret, I don't want to know" BUT now I quickly counter that by telling myself I'm being ridiculous and that it's only a bodily function and why shouldn't people talk about what's affecting them.

Tis hard work breaking free of all that conditioning though!

Moominsarescary · 03/01/2013 10:52

I don't see what the problem is, it's just blood piles/periods whatever

SPsFanjoHasSatelliteNavigation · 03/01/2013 10:53

My mum tells me about hers too if I go to hers while the blobs upon her.

When she was breast feeding she would mian to me every month that she had the pains but nothing to show for it

Mrsrudolphduvall · 03/01/2013 10:55

I am not a low woman as I am very tall.

WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome · 03/01/2013 10:58

Funnily enough, because pregnancy was never something my mum talked about, I have absolutely no qualms in discussing mucus, boobs, breast feeding, labour, telling close unlucky people about the unglamorous bits (my errant pubic hair that grew on my breast or boobic hair as it's lovingly called, shitting myself in labour etc). It's just periods that had me wanting to end conversations very quickly.

BunFagFreddie · 03/01/2013 10:59

Some people really suffer during their periods, so it is probably noteworthy for them. I don't really see what's so bad or gross about mentioning it though. I was ill for a few years and went through all manner of gross and undignified things. Nothing phases me now.

HairyGrotter · 03/01/2013 11:05

My friends and I often discuss it because I'm usually the first to start the monthly joy, and my best mate often forgets when she's due etc.

I also change my moon cup in front of DD (if she insists o. Coming to the loo, her fault ha) and discuss the period etc.

There were 4 girls in my family menstruating when growing up, and just my dad and brother who are both unabashed talking about such things due to it being perfectly normal in our home.

I don't bat an eyelid about it because its normal

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