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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I'm so angry. DH has spent £££ on IPhone game.

68 replies

OhMyGlob · 02/01/2013 22:00

I'm waiting for him to get home from work. I'm so cross. We were struggling at Xmas and he has spent £182 in December alone.

I am sick of him playing games constantly on his phone anyway. New Year's Eve was spent at his friends for a 'party' but most of the time they were on their phones or talking about this game.

OP posts:

NervousReindeer · 03/01/2013 11:47

I would have broke his phone

jessjessjess · 03/01/2013 12:49

Loveweekends10 you're being a bit presumptious there. My iPhone was free from my phone company, my contract costs £27 a month and most of the apps I use are free.

OP, I wonder if he's addicted.

fuzzpig · 03/01/2013 15:07

I think it's a characteristic of modern life TBH. So much is virtual that it is easy to forget that by clicking a few buttons you are actually moving money around. It's far removed from actually handing over your card and punching in a pin, further still from actually drawing out hard cash and watching it go in a till.

No excuse, though, not when you're an adult who has presumably had plenty of time to get used to the iPhone etc, and certainly not for that amount of money!

TheMonster · 03/01/2013 15:09

Blindly. Puts my tenner for candy crush saga into perspective.

TheMonster · 03/01/2013 15:09

Blindly?!? I mean blimey. Bloody iPad.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 03/01/2013 15:58

Trouble is that you don't realise you are doing it until you get the bloody bill through!
Best thing to do is set up a new iTunes account with no debit card/credit card on there only iTunes vouchers. It's a bit like a prepay mobile or cash, once it's gone it's gone.

FobblyWoof · 03/01/2013 16:06

I'd be pissed off if DP was playing the game all the time, never mind the money.

I think you did well not to chuck his phone out TBH

MurderOfGoths · 03/01/2013 16:07

"However I disagree with Sell his phone/ other luxeries to pay the bill. Then buy him a basic ASDA phone

He isn't 12 naysa - the OP isn't his mummy. He has fucked up, but as an adult that's his problem to sort out."

I sort of agree with you, however the money to pay for his fuck up isn't his alone. And the OP has mentioned that this has happened before. So he obviously isn't learning from his mistakes. Nor handling them in an adult manner. I'm inclined to think that if he is going to act like an irresponsible 12 year old then he deserves to be treated like one.

3smellysocks · 03/01/2013 17:20

I would give him a choice - he stops playing the games totally 100% and stays with you or moves out and does what he likes with the money. It sounds to me like you are living hand to mouth and even the basics are a stretch. His present behavior is very selfish but he continues each month to piss away funds.

TruthSweet · 03/01/2013 17:37

This is from DH - "This is why I don't like free-to-play games, either there's shit load of advertising (most Angry Birds, hence why I only have a paid for version installed) or in-App purchases which range from being annoying and not needed (Dead Finger) to needed to complete the game, to addictive crack filler around an in app purchasing system.

Unfortunately the population has brought it on themselves as they don't want to pay what it costs to develop a game. Rather they want free or very cheap games that still have full price quality, the developers / publishers have to get their costs back somehow. (Though some just abuse/take advantage.)"

DH works in IT and my BIL is a game developer - free games are considered the scourge of the programming world.

fuzzpig · 03/01/2013 18:00

I agree TS - I am fairly fussy about what I download (or at least, what I keep - I do try a lot of games) on my phone and tend to be a bit about lots of free games. But then I am picky about graphics/interface too so would rather have 10 perfect expensive (within reason!) apps than 100 crap ones. Particularly with games for the DCs, as I don't like the idea of them being bombarded with loads of ads and prompts for in-app purchases that I won't let them have!

Sorry, waffling now... but WTF is the dead finger?!

On another note I agree with I'm inclined to think that if he is going to act like an irresponsible 12 year old then he deserves to be treated like one. If you're well off and £200 quid didn't matter, then fine, you can put it behind you, but to me it's enough to make me cry if it was frittered away on something so pointless.

bubby64 · 03/01/2013 18:20

As soon as my DC's and DH and I got our smartphones, (each free with a £14 a month capped contract!) the first things I did was a)Put parental control on all in app purchases and downloads, b) install the free antivirus/firewall/etc we get with out bank account c) install a phone finder app.
So glad I did this, as their friend had run up a bill of nearly £80 in just a week when his mum hadn't done so.
My DH buys an occasional gift card for us if we want to play games that have in app purchases, but TBH, it is such a hassle changing all the settings to allow these, we dont bother much!

allgoingtoshitnow · 03/01/2013 18:21

Theres a lot of tough talking going on on this thread. Had it come from male posters it would be described as controlling behaviour.

YABU OP. Perhaps you'd like to draw up a budget so you both know what you have to spend? No doubt you will be surprised how much going out with your friends costs, vs a slip up or two playing iPhone games.

OPs DH is a adult. Despite the fact that he says it wasn't intentional and clearly messed up, he doesn't need permission to spend funds. And that counts for double if he is the wage earner (though no idea if he is?)

StuntGirl · 03/01/2013 18:34

I think you mean it counts equally allgoing

allgoingtoshitnow · 03/01/2013 18:40

Nah. SAHP only like to think that. If he earned it, its his to spend.

Maybe OP is the earner though and its her money hes wasted. YABslightlylessU in that case, OP.

TruthSweet · 03/01/2013 18:55

According to the oracle that is DH, Dead Finger is a game that was heavily pirated so the developers decided that they would make it possible to complete it without buying extras and have it as a free game. That way if people want to play it for free they can without getting a pirated copy and the developers recoup some money back from the in game purchases. (not verbatim & any errors are mine!)

MurderOfGoths · 03/01/2013 19:08

"he doesn't need permission to spend funds. And that counts for double if he is the wage earner"

Absolute rubbish. If the household had enough money that it could spare £200 then maybe I'd agree with you. But when money is tight then one person can't just spend what they like, they do need permission to spend the funds that are there for bills/food/etc.

If someone wants their money to be totally their own then they need to not have kids/live with a partner.

Original poster

OhMyGlob · 03/01/2013 20:42

We both work part time, and I am at uni so recieve student loans ect.

I haven't seen him touch his phone at all today so he must be feeling pretty bad. I don't think he'll do it again now, and I he goes back to playing constant games I will be more assertive that its not what I want around the children, especially as they have restricted computer time.

I am on my phone several times a day, when having a cup of tea or whatever,but that's usually on news sites or here, the DC's can see I am reading or we will discuss the news. Totally different from playing pointless games in my eyes.

OP posts:

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