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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm so angry. DH has spent £££ on IPhone game.

68 replies

OhMyGlob · 02/01/2013 22:00

I'm waiting for him to get home from work. I'm so cross. We were struggling at Xmas and he has spent £182 in December alone.

I am sick of him playing games constantly on his phone anyway. New Year's Eve was spent at his friends for a 'party' but most of the time they were on their phones or talking about this game.

OP posts:
Softlysoftly · 03/01/2013 00:01

Ditto ditto!! DH has done this recently on the fucking credit card. Some stupid war game you can buy weapons or some shit for on the iPad.

I'm going to tot it up and have it out. We've discussed it once as there was 1 purchase alone for £68 Shock. His argument is I go to lunch/play places etc with friends (and a bunch of bloody toddlers) but he never goes out bar working (not a pub type bloke).

But he bloody smokes and has gym membership. Words shall be had again Angry.

Oh and yes I do think they are a form of addiction.

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 03/01/2013 00:02

Are you talking about War of Heroes?

I'm a massive Marvel fan, downloaded it and haven't looked at it after realising how much it would cost to actually properly play it.

Total rip off, I would kill DP if it was him.

fuzzpig · 03/01/2013 00:03

Sheesh, and I feel a bit naughty spending anything more than 69p on a new game! Spending £200 on apps is inconceivable (well, not even appS since it's all on one thing, which if he's anything like me, he will get bored with after a while anyway)

Is there a way of deleting his card info from his account? For a year or so of having my iPhone, I didn't put a card on my account at all, and only bought the odd iTunes voucher to use instead - much easier to keep control of as when you go on the App Store it tells you how much you've got.

Naysa · 03/01/2013 00:24

That's outrageous and would be a deal breaker for me.

Sell his phone/ other luxeries to pay the bill. Then buy him a basic ASDA phone xx

Original poster
OhMyGlob · 03/01/2013 00:38

Yes it's War of Heroes.

He has promised me he won't spend any more money on them and will stop playing with them all the time.

If it happens again I will let him know that the phone has to go or I will. It is just so childish and the constant game playing has been winding me up for ages now.

OP posts:
Naysa · 03/01/2013 01:00

Shit. As if I put kisses at the end of that! Shock
I'm not a lovey I promise!

crappypatty · 03/01/2013 01:16

YANBU, I have spent 3 hrs on phone to apple today after ds 8 hit my debit card for £250 for in app crap.

NatashaBee · 03/01/2013 01:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Loveweekends10 · 03/01/2013 06:56

I can't get over the amount of people that say they have struggled over Xmas yet have bloody iPhones. You have only got to look at them to know they are going to cost you a fortune.
We are both on quite good salaries yet don't buy iPhones because we can't afford them.

NeedlesCuties · 03/01/2013 08:33

"I think I am so angry because we have been so hard up. I had a night out were I only spent £5 and he made me feel bad for that."

I think, OP, that ^^ is telling about what a dick your DH is.

How dare he fritter away so much money on fecking games yet leave you feeling guilty about £5!

Is he any use at home? Does he work? Do you have DC together?

I would be going postal if I were you, raging!

theoriginalandbestrookie · 03/01/2013 08:38

I'd be telling him to get Relate sessions organised, if he tells you you can't afford them tell em they are much less than the cost of his games and/or divorce proceedings.

You seem really calm about this. I'd be so angry not just about the money but also about the discrepancy. How bloody dare he make you feel bad about spending £5 on a night out whilst he is frittering away hundreds on a kids game, its massively disrespectful as is letting you go to a party with no present - has he no shame ?

But fine if you want to give him that ultimatum after the next episode, then good luck to you. I'd make sure that the message was crystal clear to him now and I'd be checking on his credit card/bank account details for the next three months. Treating him like a child - well yes but he is acting like one.

fuzzpig · 03/01/2013 08:49

TBF Loveweekends10, lots of people get them second hand (I was given mine by a generous friend when he upgraded) but I also think the contracts aren't much more expensive each month than other phones since smart phones are the norm now. DH's HTC is £25 a month which I think is about average, but because I got my phone for free and no contract, I only spend £5 a month on giffgaff, so it balances out.

That said, it is a valid point - and I wonder if OP is 'allowed' an expensive phone too?

financialwizard · 03/01/2013 08:49

My DH did this too, he didn't realise how much he had spent. I went ballistic at him. He hasn't done it since.

E320 · 03/01/2013 09:22

That is an awful lot of money for "a game", but could quite easily be done, if Apple already has your credit card details. I have noticed, when buying music, that I no longer get asked to confirm the purchase. I do not think this is "right", even though I knew what I was doing and wanted to buy. I can see how easy it would be to rack up a huge bill, if you werent´t aware that you were paying for your downloads.

fuzzpig · 03/01/2013 10:01

You can have it set to ask for your password each time on the app store though (don't know about music as I don't download). Mine asks me to confirm password for any app (whether free or paid), in-app purchase, or even updates of apps I already have. I think the password stays for about 5 minutes, and if you download something else after it times out, you have to put the password in again.

I only really put it on there just in case my DCs accidentally clicked something, but it's very useful.

Original poster
OhMyGlob · 03/01/2013 10:38

I have an iPhone too yes, I traded in my iPod to be able to afford it. We both got them when he was on a better wage and before I was at uni.

I don't really want to start setting up passwords for him or treating him like a child. I'd rather he know how disappointed I am and then choose not to do it again. If he does do it again, after knowing how quickly it adds up and how unfair it is, then I know he has no regard for how I feel and I would probably have to re think my relationship with him.

He does seem very sorry and is shocked at the amount he has spent. But it is still bothering me that he made me feel guilty for any money I spent whilst he was doing this.

OP posts:
pictish · 03/01/2013 10:45

Yanbu - what a ludicrous waste of money! I'd be fuming and would put him straight in no uncertain terms.

However I disagree with Sell his phone/ other luxeries to pay the bill. Then buy him a basic ASDA phone

He isn't 12 naysa - the OP isn't his mummy. He has fucked up, but as an adult that's his problem to sort out.

ChasedByBees · 03/01/2013 10:47

Have you made that point to him? I'd be interested in how he justifies that.

goldenlula · 03/01/2013 11:09

Dh did similar a few months back, but thankfully not to the same degree. He was playing Texas poker and was spending a couple of pound very few days on chips. I was checking the emails (he never checks them, he leaves it to me) and found a couple of receipts for a couple of weeks, adding up to £10 ish each. I phoned him, spoke to him about and he said the same as the op's dh. He hadn't realised he had spent so much as it was spread out and small amounts at a time. He has since stopped.

Myliferocks · 03/01/2013 11:22

I have an iPod touch and an iPad.
I don't have a credit or debit card linked to my apple account and only use gift cards for any purchases.
The settings on the devices have been changed so that if I want to make in app purchases or any other purchases then I have to enter a password.
This way I can double check if I have to pay for anything.

Hulababy · 03/01/2013 11:27

Would he let you set restrictions on his phone for no in app purchases, and only you know the password to disable it?

I know you shouldn't have to for an adult, but if he is really sorry and adamant he won't do it again, then this would take away the temptation.

He could still purchase other apps and music, etc, But just have that restriction set.

Hulababy · 03/01/2013 11:30

Loveweekend - tbh the phone itself isn't an issue. Lots of deals out there, no need to spend £££ on them. You control what you spend on them thereafter. Once bought there is no reason to have to add several £££ at all. And they are no worse than any other smartphone either.

BTW - setting in app purchases is separate to buying apps in first place and has a separate passcode number. You do it on the phone and you don't use the iTunes account password.

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 03/01/2013 11:36

I use DPs Iphone and have an Android myself, yes we struggled over Xmas but mines is a cheap contract that I needed to get in contact with Family and DPs is an old upgrade of mines that is now PAYG.

Neither of us pay for apps, War of Heroes is free to download, it's just the content that costs a fortune, hence my last post about not using it.

I have a tablet as well but that was free with my old phone. Another 14 pound a month contract that is now finished.

OP, I hope your DP has learned from this, it does sound like he just lost track. I would be having words about the moaning about you spending 5 pounds though.

NervousReindeer · 03/01/2013 11:38

I would have broke his phone

BexieID · 03/01/2013 11:45

I downloaded a game last week and just as I was getting into it I now find its £1.99 to continue on! I had a £25 iTunes card for Xmas so am debating whether to pay up but don't want to get further along in the game and have to pay more!

I would be furious with your hubby as well. At least my man is frugal enough to wait for games to be free even with iTunes vouchers to hand!