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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to get shut of facebook pest?

33 replies

HANIEL · 31/12/2012 08:58

A guy from work keeps messaging me on facebook and being really suggestive. I already deleted him once but then he messaged me saying he was sorry that I deleted him etc and asked what he did to upset me. I was like FOR GOD SAKE, DOES HE NOT GET THE HINT. How do I stop him from hounding me. If I deleted him on fb then surely he shouldn't be able to message me. He just doesn't give up. I am married with two kids. Why is it that if your friendly with some men a few times, they then think they have the right to think you are romantically interested in them.

OP posts:
MrsRajeshKoothrappali · 31/12/2012 09:00

Block him.

He won't be able to message you.

McNewPants2013 · 31/12/2012 09:00

on the chat screen click on the the person name and there is a little flower kind of icon, click that and you can turn off chat to that person.

fortyplus · 31/12/2012 09:03

You can block him - just go to your account settings. He won't be able to contact him nor him you.

fortyplus · 31/12/2012 09:04

Oops sorry that should've read 'You won't be able to contact him nor him you.'

DozyDuck · 31/12/2012 09:06

You can also change your privacy settings so only 'mainly friends' can message you.

Unless they want to pay 60p per message for the pleasure of messaging you and then will only be allowed 1 per week.

Block him, change your privacy settings

fortyplus · 31/12/2012 09:07

ps I had a work contact who used to message me social stuff but then really overstepped the mark and started IMing me about work-related issues even though I told her that I couldn't discuss with her outside work. It was really inappropriate - discussing serious criminal charge against a third party. So I printed off the thread as eveidence in case of future repercussions and blocked her. I had also already blocked the person who was the subject of her messages!

mrsjay · 31/12/2012 09:08

go to his name and you will see 'block this person' block him and he wont be able to contact you, a bit awkward that you work with him though

TheFallenNinja · 31/12/2012 09:10

You tell your boss and tell your husband.

Do nothing and it will get worse.

CoolaYuleA · 31/12/2012 09:14

You can also report him to your employer for Sexual Harrassment - it doesn't have to happen at work.

You can also report him to the Police.

Obviously block him on Facebook but copy all the messages first.

The fact that he persisted after saying he would stop is a big red flag, I personally would be taking it further. His behaviour is unacceptable and frankly weird.

yohohoho · 31/12/2012 09:53

Anyone can message you on fb. Unless you block them. When they search for you, you won't appear.

Also you could speak to work. Even though this is outside work they still should do something.

TheMonster · 31/12/2012 09:55

Block him completely. Then even if he searches for you he won't see you.

Sallyingforth · 31/12/2012 10:36

Yet another FB problem. FB It isn't compulsory and many of us manage perfectly well to keep in touch with friends using email.

FiftyShedsOfGrey · 31/12/2012 10:42

That wasn't exactly helpful Sally!

I think you need to report him at work TBH OP.

VenusStarr · 31/12/2012 10:59

Make sure you block him and adjust your privacy settings.

Also report at work.

maddening · 31/12/2012 11:06

Reply and advise you will take his emails to hr at work?

Anniegetyourgun · 31/12/2012 11:07

Facebook is the work of the devil and I will never use it, but even I know you can block people and that there are levels of privacy setting.

Agree about reporting. If you are a kindly soul warn him, just once, that if he messages you again this is what you will be doing. And then, if he does, do it. Hinting won't do, you have to actually tell some people very clearly that they are NOT TO CONTACT YOU AGAIN, not because they're stupid but because it does not suit them to listen. Also it will help if it comes to needing backup from the police and/or your employer to be able to show you told him unequivocally, in writing, to feck off.

Eeebygum · 31/12/2012 11:20

You can stop him from messaging you if you delete him. He also can't message you if you block him. Just go into your account and privacy settings and change them.

I would have to tell the creep though before I did it, and why.

FolkElf · 31/12/2012 13:24

I would block him and tell my husband and work if I were you.

WorraLorraTurkey · 31/12/2012 13:29

It's a no brainer really.

loopylou6 · 31/12/2012 15:35

Just tell him to stop messaging you. It is really that easy. If he doesn't, take a screen shot and show it to your boss.

Sallyingforth · 31/12/2012 15:43

That wasn't exactly helpful
Yes it was. Every one of the many complaints about FB can be resolved instantly by not using it. Everyone managed perfectly well before it was invented, and could do so again without it.

FelicityWasSanta · 31/12/2012 15:47

Yes it was. Every one of the many complaints about FB can be resolved instantly by not using it. Everyone managed perfectly well before it was invented, and could do so again without it.

The same could be said about mumsnet or the Internet in general. The solution isn't to avoid things but to engage in the right way. The OPs problem can be resolved in less than 10 seconds then she can get on with enjoying FB.

penguinplease · 31/12/2012 16:07

Similar happened to me, I did the same as you and deleted him but he talked me round and did it again. So I copied and pasted the filthy message he sent me and posted it on his wall and tagged my DH and his wife with a comment asking why he felt it was ok to send me that and how did he feel about sharing it publicly.
He deleted me and never spoke to me again. Sadly neither did his wife but I actually don't care, they were way more trouble than they were worth!

HecatePropolos · 31/12/2012 16:08

complain at work.

This could be treated as sexual harrassment.

KellyEllyChristmasBelly · 31/12/2012 16:22

Yet another FB problem. FB It isn't compulsory and many of us manage perfectly well to keep in touch with friends using email. Utterly stupid comment and somehow passing blame onto the OP for shock horror having a fb account. Yes just by using FB she must be bringing this on herself Hmm

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