To think badly written sex scenes in fan fiction

[BalthierBunansa]

may be some of the funniest things ever?

Observe imgur.com/Jg60J

I've read some real shocking ones, things that coulda been written by a child, awful.

Well I know my BFs 13yo daughter writes them (very much U/PG rated ones I hasten to add) so they might very well have been!

Peevish I may have been a little partial to, erm, a bit of Elladan/Elrohir

Dmitri i mean the M ones, the truely adult ones, the more adolescent ones are much better written.

I hate badly written fan fic, I wish some people wouldn't share their fantasy.

There are some brilliant written ones on livejournal, esp if you like a bit of MCR slash.

I am literally snorting laughing at My Immortal, thank you for sharing. It's perfect, the story, the txt spk comments at the end of each 'chapter'...

?What the fuck do you think?? I asked angrily. And then I said. ?Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don?t want to kill him, because, he?s really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don?t kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!? I burst into tears.
Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

Brilliant.

LOL. I love badly written fanfiction. I used to read a hell of a lot of fanfiction, and badly written sex scenes made fics like My Immortal worth reading

Saying that, I read a really awesome fan version of Half Blood Prince before the book came out and it was 100% better than the real deal!

Voldemort = fucking bastard, now that's deep.

I almost pissed myself when I read My Immortal for he first time. I don't even like HP but it was well worth it. It was Dumbledore's "motherfuckers" and his Avril Lavigne cape that did it for me.

I've also been guilty of writing a dodgy sex scene myself.

I hate the ones that are actually really good stories and then they begin to be peppered with crap sex scenes. It makes me stop reading them

made me roar.

Dammit. DC are in the room and I'm too comfortable to move laptop. I'll have to listen later...

Oh gods, that link made me cry!! That's one of the funniest things I've heard in a long while!

Oh I love dramatic readings, they really hit me where I live for some reason.

I read one years ago, decades ago even, that put me off all fan fiction and has never left me.

It was a Star Trek TNG scene with Guinan (i.e. Whoopie Goldberg) who was completely naked except for her usual extravagant hat...and equally etravagant bush.

I decided I just couldn't risk visuals like that again.

I hate writing sex scenes and I'm not mad about reading them either. I'm 85000 words into a story and have managed to get away with only one sex scene so far. I was writing a shorter story over Christmas which has a hetro sex scene, which I find harder to write so I did it mainly as the woman looking back in a drunken haze of regret. Still cringeworthy.

I wrote a kiss scene once, sadly i dont have the story now the only thing i remember was:

He traced an invisible line with kisses down her chest, breathing in her scent, her skin was soft and glowing with anticipation, he moved back her body, and looked into her eyes, she was perfect

Thats all i remember of that sadly.

I'm not saying I'm good at writing sex scenes but I do enjoy trying, its sort of a mental workout of what could happen if real life things like kids knocking on the door at the wrong moment or mum coming home didn't happen

I love reading the really good sex scenes- and there are some. It's just if any start 'he crushed his lips to her' (which sounds bloody painful)- I know not to bother.

This article is awesome

*Disclaimer it's about fanfic not a dodgy link

fancy

Thanks for that! I think number 5 is my favourite!

Dumbleydore only swore cos he had a headache y'all!

And yes, the Avril Lavigne cloak is priceless.

Thanks for the link to My Immortal - it's just genius!