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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..to want my new pussy

70 replies

Santasapunkatheart · 30/12/2012 23:19

Ha - made you look for all the wrong reasons!

No - it's a cat.

Won't bore you but it's been as 'interesting' year. Actually no - it's been an effing difficult year. On top of some horrible things, such as a rat infestation in our home, we lost our beloved cat of 17 years. A very bad time for it - as my daughter has been diagnosed with depression. The cat was really good for her and she looked forward to cuddling her when she came in.

It has been a while since the cat died. My daughter is in a really bad state at present and we are going back to the doctors on Monday. She really really wants a kitten from a rescue centre. One to name, call her own and to love.

But here is the complicated bit. Recently I told my mother about my lymphoma. I had hidden it from her as she lives a long way away and worries. A lot. Now she seems to think that she will end up looking after me, which she says is fine. I am hoping that will not happen and I can manage my condition. I do not want that scenario at all. But when I mentioned the cat, she went potty. Usually she is lovely and we are close. She has a phobia about cats and cannot come into any house with one in it.

At present my mother does not visit very often. We don't go to see her that much but I talk to her every day. We have other animals (chickens) and to be honest, my daughter and I have a full and busy life where we are. I often get very tired too - so I don't do too much travelling. She feels that she will be unable to visit or look after me, if I should need it.

I have got a bit cross with her and told her this is my household and that I am a grown woman. An animal would really be beneficial to a very unhappy little girl. I think she should get some treatment for her phobia and not expect to dictate that we cannot get a cat.

Please don't say you hate cats - as that will not be unhelpful. But am I being unreasonable if I get the kitten? I am really worried about my little girl. We have never been without a cat and we are very much animal people.

OP posts:
BonkeyMollocks · 31/12/2012 02:20

Get the cats!

NoMoreMarbles · 31/12/2012 02:32

I vote CAT...

Tell your mum to piss off Grin I did when I got mine! Well actually I told her I was minding him for my friend...he has been minded for 11years now Grin

scripsi · 31/12/2012 02:40

I think a cat (or two) would be brilliant for both of you! Another vote for a cat!

ComposHat · 31/12/2012 03:12

Sorry for the loss of your previous cat and your health problems.

As someone who suffers from clinical. depression, I can only say that getting a cat has been wonderful for me.

We got her from a rescue centre and she is a beautiful older tortoiseshell cat. Not only have I loved her company and affection and get enormous pleasure from her funny ways (If any fellow tortoiseshell owners are out there she has 'tortitude' in buckets) but it also gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning as her astonishingly loud meow could shatter glass and her pleading for breakfast is impossible to ignore. Also if I feel panic overtaking me stroking her can be very calming.

I say get a cat for your daughter, but maybe an older one as they tend to be calmer.

I

NaokHoHoHo · 31/12/2012 03:20

Cat. Or two, if you can find littermates/cats that get on in rescue (sounds like you don't need the hassle of trying to bond two cats that don't know eachother already). And I'm not even a cat person. Animals are wonderful if you're depressed, so it'll help your daughter; you sound like you want a cat too. You are in fact an adult, you are thus far coping without your mother's help and you can't lead your life around something that may very well not happen - especially, I think, if you have something like lymphoma, where I think it'd be depressingly and unnecessarily restrictive of your life to not get a cat because you may need your mother's care at some unspecified point in future.

apostropheuse · 31/12/2012 03:27

composhat My girls are torties. Grin

ComposHat · 31/12/2012 03:58

apostroph do they show typical tortoiseshell behaviour?purr incredibly loudly and are they chatty? Poppy (our cat) has an astonishing array of meows! She is very affectionate and gentle but can be a bit haughty too. She acts like an elderly Duchess forced to slum it.

I am very much a convert to Torties and wouldn't want any other type of cat.

yuletopian99 · 31/12/2012 04:11

Definitely get the cat!

DH is a dog person and struck a bargain with me some years ago that he'd agree to us getting pussies Hmm if I agreed to us having children. (only half in jest)

A year ago he got me two Turkish Van cats (they're anti-allergy,) who are utterly gorgeous and super friendly, and I'm now typing this on my phone halfway through feeding our our 3-day old DS. Grin. So I held up my end of the bargain too...

Also - his mum hates cats to the point he was nervous to tell her we were getting them, and now even she loves them, so major vote here for team cat!

Booyhoo · 31/12/2012 04:12

in your shoes i would get the cat, but i am cat mad and would always say 'get the cat'.

however, is it possible to ask a close friend or relative if they would be willing to take on the cat if your health deteriorates and your mum has to come and look after you? someone that lives near so your DD can visit as often as possible? i know it isn't ideal but i fear that if you do get a cat and then get ill your dmum might insist the cat goes and if you have nothing in place it could end up going to someone you dont know or wont see often. my advice is have a longterm plan in place for the cat the same way you do for yourself and DD if your health does decline.

Santasapunkatheart · 31/12/2012 08:12

I don't know what a Turkish Van cat is...but now I am imagining cats with rolled up sleeves, having a fag and a bacon buttie while standing behind a white van.

Compo - that is great to hear about how your girl has helped you. She truly sounds like a communicator.

Yes I know what you mean about long term plan Boo. I am incredibly responsible with animals and this is very much on my mind. I do have a number of animal-centric friends - so I wll speak to them.

Hopefully though, I will be fine for a long time.

All this cat porn made me dream about them last night. It was lovely!

Yule - that was quite a deal you struck with your DH!

OP posts:
peggyblackett · 31/12/2012 08:17

Get the cat. Mine is currently trying to groom me in bed :).

Santasapunkatheart · 31/12/2012 08:19

...and now I have an image of a cat singing while brushing your (long golden) hair with a silver hairbrush, peggy...

OP posts:
peggyblackett · 31/12/2012 08:51

You'd be spot on punk :o

I was tempted to say that I was sat stroking my pussy in bed, but that would give all sorts of bad connotations.

diddl · 31/12/2012 09:00

Definitely get a cat or two.

Kittens are lovely, but a couple of house trained rescues would also be lovely.

WhoeverHeardOfAWormskinRug · 31/12/2012 09:03

Another vote for two cats here! (says the woman with 9 cats...)

MrsWolowitz · 31/12/2012 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mypussyiscalledCaramel · 31/12/2012 09:45

Get 2 cats!!

I suffer from depression and my Caramel is fantastic for destressing. She has also been a fantastic alarm clock when I forgot to turn mine on. She was only 15 minutes out.

She was one of several kittens when I went to get one. I picked them all up and she was the only one that stuck her head under my chin and settled there for a snooze.

She also gets on with my dog and the pair of them wait on the stairs for me to come home.

If I'm up at stupid o'clock for any reason she's there asking for a fuss and purring like an engine.

Oooh sorry I got carried away there.

Grin
cozietoesie · 31/12/2012 10:14

Well of course you'll get a cat (or two.) I'd vote for a rescue centre sllightly older one - although if you're within striking distance of the north east and want a kitten or two, visit The Litter Tray and you'll see that one of the posters, FTR, has a large litter of gorgeous half Siamese (she rehomed a little Siamese strumpet and was caught unawares) which will be ready for a new home in about 3 weeks or so. A few weeks longer than that would be good of course.

Smile
cozietoesie · 31/12/2012 10:17

You'll find her towards the end of this thread.

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/1634445-Whats-the-friendliest-breed-of-cat\ Litter Tray Thread}

Smile
Mutt · 31/12/2012 10:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lurkedtoolong · 31/12/2012 10:24

Get the cat. As someone with depression I can say with all honesty that on some of my very worst days it's only that daft wee creature rubbing my hand for a cuddle that's kept me alive.

Everyone needs a pussy to stroke in the morning

HecatePropolos · 31/12/2012 10:27

Get cats.

btw - I keep misreading your name as something very rude Grin

Anniegetyourgun · 31/12/2012 10:41

Cats are terrific therapists for depression. We have two, both homed as adults from a rescue centre. The DSs adore and worship them. There are so many lovely cats out there looking for someone to love them and so many are sadly abandoned at this time of year (fancy thinking to yourself that Christmas would be so much better if only this stupid cat was out of the way, what is wrong with some people?!). You can do yourself, the cat/s and the rescue centre a favour at the same time.

hiddenhome · 31/12/2012 10:56

Get the cat! Two if you can afford it.

Animals have a therapeutic effect and are great for depression. Your mother needs to grow up Hmm

MummytoMog · 31/12/2012 11:11

Get two! I am biased because I have a houseful of Egyptian Maus (and one rather lonely Serengeti), but I think the oriental breeds are heavenly and half Siamese sound gorgeous. Our Serengeti is a first generation cross, so basically half bengal and half oriental (Siamese) and she's ludicrously friendly and cuddly. We used to have a gorgeous long hair rescue cat, and he was so placid and chilled. Used to sleep on my lodgers bed and hold her hand:). Was black and got run over early one morning though :(