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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Should he have texted me tonight?

36 replies

GoGetGone · 29/12/2012 23:51

Or am I being a dick? A simple yes or no will be fine.

My DP is out tonight for a few drinks with a friend. Rare occurrence, he maybe goes out once every three months, if that and only ever has a few pints. We don't live together but spend 4 or 5 evenings a week together.

So, he is out tonight and staying with his friend and friend's family so he doesn't have to drive the ten miles home. We message each other on and off all day and night usually [ when not together ] but tonight I haven't heard from him since about 7pm when he said he was leaving to drive over there and that he'd be over to mine tomorrow for dinner etc.

AIBU to kind of expect that he should have texted me? To just say hello, or goodnight or something? Or am I [ as i suspect ] being a twat?

OP posts:
thenightsky · 29/12/2012 23:54

YABU

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 29/12/2012 23:54

I wouldn't have expected to hear from him.

Casmama · 29/12/2012 23:56

No he should not have texted you. You would only be a twat if you had a go at him for it.

Numberlock · 29/12/2012 23:56

Let him enjoy his night and stop checking your phone every two seconds!

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 29/12/2012 23:56

A text would have been nice! YANBU to hope for one, but maybe he is caught up with his friends and their family and has not picked up his phone to text you.

Why not send one to him yourself?

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts · 29/12/2012 23:57

YABU... and don't understand the night & day texting the rest of the time either, unless you're teenagers that is. Hmm

peedoffbird · 29/12/2012 23:58

Do you think it's strange he hasn't text because he normally does? This I understand but he is out with a friend so should be left alone.

He will prob text you goodnight if he gets a chance or he may not want to disturb you so late.

SirBoobAlot · 29/12/2012 23:58

I don't think you're being a twat. I get anxious when I don't hear from DP and know he's out on the lash!

doublecakeplease · 29/12/2012 23:58

yabu - let the poor bloke have a night out! Why on earth would he text you? although i usually get a sorry drunk text when DP goes out

Original poster
GoGetGone · 30/12/2012 00:00

To be clear - I won't be having a go at him! I'm not that much of an idiot.

We spent this afternoon together and he is normally very good at being in touch, like I said on and off during the day and throughout the evening if we are not together.

Just wasn't sure if I should have received a text tonight. From the pub or something or before he went to bed.

OP posts:
Aspiemum2 · 30/12/2012 00:00

Yep, yabu. Don't text him either, if I was him I would find that a bit needy tbh. Text in the morning to ask if he had a good time.

He's not forgotten about you, he's just having a good time. Plus it's a bit rude to go out with a friend and then spend half the night texting

Original poster
GoGetGone · 30/12/2012 00:01

He won't be drunk that's for sure. He never has more than 4 pints and that's maximum. I don't feel anxious as such, just thought it might be nice

OP posts:
Original poster
GoGetGone · 30/12/2012 00:02

I won't text him as that would look odd. And he will definitely text in the morning for sure. Just wanted to know if maybe he should have done so tonight.

OP posts:
BluelightsAndSirens · 30/12/2012 00:03

I'm 50 50 with this because we keep in touch all the time but a night out is different and being on your phone all night would be rude.

I would go to bed and be al smiles in the morning

nurseneedshelp · 30/12/2012 00:03

I'd text to check he's ok! Especially if you're normally in touch all the time.

I'm sure he won't mind and you'll sleep better for it....

Icelollycraving · 30/12/2012 00:04

Don't get het up,text him to say goodnight,hope he is having a good time,speak tomorrow.

FestiveElement · 30/12/2012 00:04

Yabu. Maybe he will text when he goes to bed.its not that late for a night out when you are staying at someone else's house, and it's not late to go to bed.

Original poster
GoGetGone · 30/12/2012 00:05

no, no I wont text him. dont feel the need to do that at all! he will also more than likely be asleep because yes, he is that boring!

OP posts:
upstart68 · 30/12/2012 00:07

No let him have a night off. a good relationship is based on trust.

i went out with a friend recently. despite the fact she'd told her new dp she was going for a meal with me, he texted four or five times during our meal. fgs - i thought - can he not leave her alone for an hour or two? it might be that they normally texted every hour during an evening - but if someone's out with a mate it's bloody annoying and just comes across as really needy.

HildaOgden · 30/12/2012 00:08

Yabu.

By making the plans for tomorrow with you in his last text,I would have taken it that it was the last text of the day.

TraineeBabyCatcher · 30/12/2012 00:15

YANBU to have wanted to hear from him, as that is what you normally do.
However, he is nbu to have not text, he's probably just busy and has forgotten- me and dp text as you do but there are times when I or he is busy and forget or just don't have chance.

larks35 · 30/12/2012 00:16

YABU. The idea of texting on and off all day with someone leaves me feeling shivery all over and not in a good way! Sorry OP but why do you both need to do this? Haven't you got other stuff to get on with?

Anyway wrt tonight, I wouldn't worry, perhaps the friends he is with would be a bit offended if he zoned into his phone rather than enjoyed his night with them. Perhaps send him and goodnight text, but don't do it expecting a response.

Softlysoftly · 30/12/2012 00:17

YANBU he's clearly having an affair.

LTB

Grin
SantasHoHoHo · 30/12/2012 00:22

You say he goes out every few months? Well what happened the last time he went out with his friend, did he text you then?

Viviennemary · 30/12/2012 00:25

YABU. But only a bit. I don't think you can really expect to hear from him if he's only away for one night. Unless he said he would be in touch then I certainly wouldn't text him to see if he is OK. That is just too smothering.

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