Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To think if you bring puddings, they should be served??

73 replies

lisad123 · 29/12/2012 22:19

Went to friends mum for dinner party tonight (friend live in other country and she's home for week).
I took two lovely puddings, and bottle of wine. Food was lovely, but mum had made cake and it was nice but that was only pudding served. So we have come home, and left two full puddings at house.

So if someone brings pudding, do you atleast offer it, or just shove them in fridge and eat later?

OP posts:

LRDtheFeministDude · 29/12/2012 22:42

How rude! If she asked you to bring them she has no excuse.

MaryChristmaZEverybody · 29/12/2012 22:45

Yes, they should have served it.

And if you bring nice wine, it should be opened [bitter]

so I don't have to drink crap wine someone has found in a bargain bin

BerthaKitt · 29/12/2012 22:47

YANBU. But could you not have said "shall I bring out my cheesecake now?" Or something along those lines?

Original poster

lisad123 · 29/12/2012 22:47

Wine I don't mind as long as something is served

OP posts:

Icelollycraving · 29/12/2012 22:50

Rude. My dsis is a bit like this. Pops the wine/champagne in the fridge & offers a thimble of meal deal wine.
It never ceases to piss me off. They will actually save the best for themselves & it is so different to how I am that I find it really bad form.

BluelightsAndSirens · 29/12/2012 22:51

Wine is a gift for the hosting house and if you are asked to supply pudding it should be served!

Bloody cheek, that would really piss me off!

MaryChristmaZEverybody · 29/12/2012 22:55

I don't mind wine being a gift, Bluelights, as long as the wine I'm given is actually drinkable.

I don't like it much if my nicely chosen, rather expensive (at least more than a fiver a bottle) wine is whisked away and replaced by Blue Nun or some Spanish shite .

DrRanj · 29/12/2012 22:55

This happened to me on Xmas day! I made a beautiful Xmas pavlova, we all had dinner, then everyone did the whole " let's leave it for half an hour before pudding", left the table and sat in the lounge eating chocs so it got forgotten about. Then to add insult to injury, mil left it out f the fridge all night so I couldn't even take it home.

MarthasHarbour · 29/12/2012 22:58

This reminds me of the time me and DH went to stay at my Uncle's in Spain. We rocked up with a decent bottle of (proper) champagne. He said 'oo thanks' put it in his cellar and brought out the cheap cava from the local cash and carry! We never saw that champers for the rest of the week cheeky bugger!

Also i went to a dinner party a couple of years back. The hostess asked us all to bring a course for the meal (wasnt a formal dinner - we were all skint students/new mums). One of our friends made a lovely pumpkin soup - the hostess turned up her nose at it (thankfully the friend who brought it wasnt in earshot) and said 'i am not serving up that - it looks like shite'

YANBU by the way!

Beamur · 29/12/2012 23:01

YANBU - especially as your friend asked you to bring a pudding.
But, I think once you give a gift, be it wine or food, it would be even more rude to ask for it back!

Spuddybean · 29/12/2012 23:07

if someone asked to bring dessert i would assume that's what would be served, but if someone was invited to dinner and just turned up with a course and wanted that instead of what i had made i would be irritated.

I always take what wine i drink to peoples houses, as some wines make me vomit immediately (all reds and most non dry whites) and get really pissed off when everyone else has brought red, my bottle of white gets opened, everyone says 'oooh yes crisp dry white - lovely' i get half a glass and then they all go on to red and i have to have water or a cup of tea. I once took 4 bottles of white wine i like to a party in the hope i may get a few glasses and i've also been known to walk around holding my bottle as every time i put it down someone grabbed it.

RibenaFiend · 29/12/2012 23:22

Food should be served. End of. For one, food expires! You can't hoard dinner party food indefinitely.

Sometimes people's wine offerings at dinner parties really hack me off. Why cook lovely food and serve it with meths in a glass?!! I've brought a decent bottle of red (£10/£15 usually) and I'm given some vile Spanish shite that I can't drink to be met with "But you like red wine"
...not this shite I don't...

UGH!!!

upstart68 · 29/12/2012 23:30

I think sometimes you're really nervous and you've planned what's happening and you do it wrong.

I wouldn't be majorly offended. I'd just see it as someone was quite nervous that day, maybe because unfamiliar people were coming or they weren't used to entertaining. I don't think it would be a snub.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 29/12/2012 23:37

Wine is tricky. I think it's a gift for the guest as well. Never knowingly brought cheap rubbish, but I wasn't sure what to make of it when someone immediately opened and served us the wine we'd brought to dinner one time.

He was a bit of a wine buff, part-owned a restaurant in another country, and I felt he was doing that thing of feeding back to us the crap we'd brought.
It was an organic red from his country of origin, so it might have been crap but that's not what the Waitrose label said. I just thought he was trying to tell us something twat.

But the puddings should have been served - you don't bring food to a party so the hosts can squirrel it away for when it suits them - especially since you were asked to bring it.

GW297 · 29/12/2012 23:50

YANBU - I would have been gutted!

ddubsgirl · 30/12/2012 00:02

we had a get together and it was 1 of our friends birthday and we got her a cake and brought it out with candles on etc and she put it back in the box and took the whole lot home,was not impressed! whenever we have a night out we get a cake and its always shared out.

AgnesBligg · 30/12/2012 00:05

Re: wine shotgun if someone brings something nice along I will actually open it right away for them. Just so they get a glug of something decent before they're hit with the Sainsbos winebox I am providing myself, natch.

janji · 30/12/2012 00:34

Whatever is brought should always be offered (at the very least because the 'bringer' should have the opportunity to sample their own offerings).

whois · 30/12/2012 01:53

YANBU about the pudding, should have been offered

I'm on the fence about wine. I'll sometimes open bottles people have boight with them and sometimes not. Depends on the food, my current wine stock and the wine offerings. I'd never leave glasses empty tho!

MichelleRooJnr · 30/12/2012 03:07

All brought food should be offered.
Wine - depends.
I go to a friend's house about once a month for a catch up with her and 2 other friends.
We meet there 8ish, always just for drinks - no food.
I always email and ask should I bring anything - she always replies "Just a bottle or two".
So I bring a couple of bottles of red, which she puts on the side and we drink box-o-red all night.
A couple of times I've said "Oh - I'll just open this bottle I've brought" when it's top up glasses time, and she always says "Oh no - there's a box open, don't open a bottle!"

At some point in the night there is always a second box opened. Always I'm too late with my "No don't open another box we'll have this bottle".
I've started bringing shite bargain bin bottles cause I know I'm going to be drinking box-o-spar all night!

littlewhitebag · 30/12/2012 07:43

I think you have all missed the main issue here - THEY RAN OUT OF WINE! That would be a hanging offence within my group of friends. We still talk bitch about the time we went to a friends house at New Year and she ran out of beer and tonic for the gin. She has never been allowed to host New Year again!!!! Get your priorities right - pudding not served - no problem. No wine left - what kind of meanies are they?

ChristmasJubilee · 30/12/2012 08:05

If she asked you to bring puddings then they should have been served. Could she have forgotten about them in the heat of the moment.

If you are invited to someone's house you should take a gift for the host. So if you take a Bottle of wine then they should not have to open it, however they should be providing enough drink for the evening. If you want to drink your own wine then you should take a seperate gift, wine, chocolate, flowers for the host and whatever you want to drink which you will need to keep a hold of.

cozietoesie · 30/12/2012 08:19

Pretty well anything I'm brought in the way of edibles or potables I put out for the evening - the only exception being white wine which hasn't been chilled which I'll put in the fridge for an hour or two. And serve my own if it's already cold. (But the other usually comes out anyway after that.)

5Foot5 · 30/12/2012 10:06

But you haven't said whether they asked or expected you to take puddings?

If they did then YANBU but if not then I am a bit on the fence. Personally I would be a bit taken aback if I asked someone for a meal and they turned up with one of the courses without it having been mentioned beforehand.

Mulledandmerry · 30/12/2012 10:12

5foot5...yes she was asked to bring puddings.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread