Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not lie about this?

36 replies

AbbyLockhart · 29/12/2012 18:57

Ex came to spend Christmas morning with the dc. It went well and he went and did other stuff in the afternoon but then came back to put dc to bed and we watched a movie and had a few Christmas snacks. It was nice and a bit of a first as our break up was nasty and its been tough moving to healthier ground. The dc loved him being there and I really felt we'd turned a corner.

Anyway yesterday morning I got a text off him saying that his GF wasn't happy about him spending this time with dc and I and could he give her my number and I could tell her that he didn't spend time here in the evening!? I was really pissed off about it tbh and refused. There is nothing in it, we've both moved on and it was a nice time. I don't see why I should lie about it. Quite frankly I will tell her to grow up and mind her own business if she does ring.

So as not to drip feed, they have only been together a couple of months and she spent Christmas with her own family. Let me be clear I have no feelings for him whatsoever except gladness that we have been able to put our difficulties behind us.

So AIBU? I have name changed for this.

OP posts:
ILoveSaladReallyIDo · 29/12/2012 19:00

YANBU it's good that your kids can have both parents in the same room at the same time! well done for that, it isn't easy to achieve but great for the children!

TidyDancer · 29/12/2012 19:00

Stay out of it. It is not your place to get involved in their relationship. Your ex is being ridiculous and YANBU.

susanann · 29/12/2012 19:02

I agree I dont think you should lie. Anyway if she finds out hes lied it looks suspicious doesnt it? Sounds like she is insecure but thats not your problem. YANBU

cees · 29/12/2012 19:02

I agree with Tidy, stay out of it but if she does ring tell her to grow up and mind her own business Xmas Smile

ChocHobNob · 29/12/2012 19:04

YANBU to not want to lie. Tell your ex to get on with it.

But you are a bit U to want to tell the GF to grow up and mind her own business because it's clear he is lying to her. That's not her fault he's treating her badly. This is solely his doing and his problem.

financialwizard · 29/12/2012 19:06

Yanbu you should stay out of it. If she does call just tell her you are not getting involved in JKesque situations and not to call again.

quoteunquote · 29/12/2012 19:07

YANBU,

you could to keep the peace, say he can give out the number, and not answer any unknown numbers,

it would be very weird if she did actually phone, it should be a red flag to her anyway, that she needs to phone ,

but I think it is a big ask to give out your number, what if she falls out with at a later date and has a rant at you.

He would do well to put a little more effort in to communication.

Original poster
AbbyLockhart · 29/12/2012 19:10

"not getting involved in JKesque situations and not to call again."

I like this Grin.

OP posts:
digerd · 29/12/2012 19:15

After 2 months his GF is being very jealous, suspicious and controlling. Your ex is doing all he can not to lose his new GF, but should have been warned off her. She could be trouble in the future with ex's contact with his dcs. Or perhaps she just wants to be sure nothing happened.

Bit much after just 2 months , I think.

Boardiegirl · 29/12/2012 19:17

Yea i like it too lol. U r rite, shes insecure, hes an idiot to ask u and spoil the niceness u shared, but apart from that keep out of it

TalkativeJim · 29/12/2012 19:17

So he'd like to get you to lie to her to back up his own lies?

Well done on refusing!

Perhaps suggest to him that if he acted honourably in the first place - e.g. coonsidered that she might not like the evening meet up and so DIDN'T DO IT - then none of this would be an issue.

Original poster
AbbyLockhart · 29/12/2012 19:17

You've summed exactly what I was thinking digerd if theres any red flags here I don't think they are just coming from ex.

Pair of f*ckwits.

OP posts:
ChocHobNob · 29/12/2012 19:31

It just sounds to me like she has her suspicions that he is lying to her and she has all the reason to ... because he is. He has obviously said "If you don't believe me, you can ask my ex" and is now asking you to go in on the lie with him. He is an absolute idiot anyway. Hopefully she will realise soon and dump his sorry arse.

digerd · 29/12/2012 19:31

Yes, and lying to his new GF just shows how desperate he is, as not getting "any" from OP. Hope his DC don't suffer from this "relationship".

SantasENormaSnob · 29/12/2012 19:32

I wouldnt lie either.

Perhaps he should've considered her feelings before he cosied up after the kids had gone to bed.

MikeOxardInTheSnow · 29/12/2012 21:12

Exactly what SantasEnormaSnob said (fab xmas name btw). Yanbu.

KittyFane1 · 29/12/2012 22:07

I just wouldn't communicate with her at all. Don't answer texts from her and tell EX that if she calls you won't talk to her as you want nothing to do with it.

Original poster
AbbyLockhart · 30/12/2012 00:22

There was NO cosying up.

We watched a movie and had something to eat and mainly talked about our dc. Didn't even have a drink.

OP posts:
yousmell · 30/12/2012 08:47

text and say 'please don't give my number as I don't want to be involved. She will learn to trust you. Was good to catch up last night by way. Important we are on good speaking terms for the kids.

quoteunquote · 30/12/2012 12:46

what yousmell said.

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/12/2012 12:51

YANBU.

How you and your ex are approaching shared childcare sounds great for the children,healthy.

He needs to consider his relationship with this woman if she resents him behaving like an adult and spending time with his children. Obviously you can't be the one to say it,but someone needs to nonetheless.

Montybojangles · 30/12/2012 12:54

Umm, I feel a bit sorry for the woman actually. He is your ex for a reason (and you say the break up was nasty, so he has form), and he is lying to her already. I'm sure she can tell he's hiding something (most blokes are pretty crap liers), and he is trying to fob her off. What a prize.
I would just keep well away from the whole thing.

HollyBerryBush · 30/12/2012 13:02

his GF wasn't happy about him spending this time with dc

I hope he realises she isn't a 'keeper' ... jealous of his child?

Birdsgottafly · 30/12/2012 13:04

"his GF is being very jealous, suspicious and controlling"

I was branded as this, since splitting up i have found out how many times i was right about my ex.

I ignored all of the red flags, as is his GF (he is lyihg to her after all).

You have said that it was a nasty split, don't be fooled into thinking the GF is the problem, just because he played one day of happy families.

I am having "grief" off my ex's family, who are easily ignoring what every GF of his said and reminding me of every one of my "episodes" (which i now understand was a reation to EA from the off).

She needs to get rid of your ex,y ou need to set bounderie, otherwise you will be embroiled in all of his lies and game playing.

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/12/2012 13:05

Monty you feel sorry for a woman who has been in the picture 5 minutes and already resents OP's ex spending time with his child? Hmm

Swipe left for the next trending thread