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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not lie about this?

36 replies

AbbyLockhart · 29/12/2012 18:57

Ex came to spend Christmas morning with the dc. It went well and he went and did other stuff in the afternoon but then came back to put dc to bed and we watched a movie and had a few Christmas snacks. It was nice and a bit of a first as our break up was nasty and its been tough moving to healthier ground. The dc loved him being there and I really felt we'd turned a corner.

Anyway yesterday morning I got a text off him saying that his GF wasn't happy about him spending this time with dc and I and could he give her my number and I could tell her that he didn't spend time here in the evening!? I was really pissed off about it tbh and refused. There is nothing in it, we've both moved on and it was a nice time. I don't see why I should lie about it. Quite frankly I will tell her to grow up and mind her own business if she does ring.

So as not to drip feed, they have only been together a couple of months and she spent Christmas with her own family. Let me be clear I have no feelings for him whatsoever except gladness that we have been able to put our difficulties behind us.

So AIBU? I have name changed for this.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 30/12/2012 13:05

his GF wasn't happy about him spending this time with dc

She hasn't said that though, he has.

Remind yourself why he is your ex.

KenLeeeeeeeInnaSantaHat · 30/12/2012 13:05

Sounds like she's justified in being suspicious of him given that he's lying to her about his whereabouts already and asking you to back him up. YANBU for not going along with it, but rather than tell the GF to grow up, I'd suggest telling your ex to do so instead.

Birdsgottafly · 30/12/2012 13:08

Just to point out, that you may "feel that you've turned a corner", but he is asking you to lie for him.

It is a classic tactic to be charming, then to ask a favour.

Christmas is always a time of year that men will weeedle themselves back into their ex's head.

ChocHobNob · 30/12/2012 13:11

"text and say 'please don't give my number as I don't want to be involved. She will learn to trust you. Was good to catch up last night by way. Important we are on good speaking terms for the kids"

She will hardly learn to trust him when he is lying to her and asking his ex to go in on the lie.

ChocHobNob · 30/12/2012 13:14

Alis, he said the GF said she wasn't happy with him spending time with the children and the OP. I don't think it sounds like she isn't happy with him having a relationship with his children but that she doesn't particularly like her boyfriend spending the evening at his ex's when the kids are in bed. That's not unreasonable.

Plus the ex is obviously a down right liar so I wouldn't believe a word he says.

Montybojangles · 30/12/2012 13:15

alis as ops ex is clearly not a stranger to lying (and is an ex for some reason) and we only have his word that she resents him spending time with his DC I very much doubt that this is likely to be true.
the bloke sounds like a total tosser to me.

StickEmUp · 30/12/2012 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/12/2012 13:25

You may all have a point there.

But we all agree Op should definitely not lie for him,whether he's telling the truth or not.

SantasENormaSnob · 30/12/2012 13:27

Seeing the kids is one thing.

Staying after they've gone to bed for a movie and Christmas snacks with op is another.

That is what I meant by cosying up.

Still not your problem though Abby and I still wouldn't lie.

Montybojangles · 30/12/2012 13:32

Definitely, keep right out of the whole mess he's making.

ChocHobNob · 30/12/2012 13:35

I'd be tempted to tell the ex "give me her number and I'll tell her the truth, you pathetic little man".

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