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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wish blokes would stay away from the womens sale section

63 replies

uptheamp · 29/12/2012 16:26

getting the way and loudly voicing opinions on said articles. even worse when the line up outside the changing rooms and the women come out and 'twirl' for them.

Grin
OP posts:
atthewelles · 30/12/2012 15:34

I thing guys hovering around at the entrance to the women's changing rooms look a bit stupid and out of place. I also think they look a bit odd wandering around the underwear section, even if they are with their dp.

MrsCampbellBlack · 30/12/2012 15:56

I loathe men stood outside changing rooms especially those will ill fitting curtains.

I prefer shopping alone.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 30/12/2012 16:01

I don't take my husband shopping. He is worse than my children. Having been shopping with his mother, I now understand why.

ayahushca · 31/12/2012 02:47

First-up, apologies if I'm missing a tongue-in-cheek element to the OP (that chesire-cat grin smiley always throws me), but this is more directed at some of the later posts anyway.

There's 2 different categories of blokes to consider here
a) Blokes being dragged along by the gf, whinging and moaning

b) Blokes with their gf having fun

Nothing to be said for A, but I think B is to be heartily encouraged. It's great when something so widely depicted in the media as being an immutable point of conflict between men and women (clothes shopping) can be used for bonding instead. Couples clothes shopping is great fun, and it's sexy and flattering to have your oh giving considered suggestion on what he thinks you'd look good in, (even if some of his ideas are to be chuckled away)

I don't think a bloke looks "weird" standing inside a women's section, I think he looks far more weird standing awkwardly outside a shop peering fearfully into its feminine recesses as he waits for his gf (but not going in to find her or anything, cos that might look weird. He'd rather just stand in the doorframe mutely waving his arms frantically to get her attention instead, like a normal person)

If you want to find men's presence weird that's up to you, but YABU imo if you mix it with a sense of grievance or entitlement (like the slightly indignant tone about them loudly expressing their opinions suggests), as there is nothing that gives you greater right to the area than men. It's a public shop. You have your own personal concept of how you would ideally like the place to be, and while I find it as disagreeable as that of a bloke who doesn't like girls going to football matches, it's fine if you keep it to yourself. But the onus is entirely on you to find the places and times where you can shop without any men around, if that's what you insist on.

Obviously if there's any inappropriate behaviour/perving then that's not tolerable and is a completely different matter, but I think the vast majority of blokes in women's depts are just having fun with their partner really (or are the afore-mentioned captives). Don't see the problem with men being in the vicinity of changing areas, if the curtain is too flimsy then that's a problem anyway. It should always be possible to clothes shop without feeling any sense of exposure, regardless of the clientele.

Most blokes are very self-conscious and low-key in these places anyway because they're well aware of attitudes like many in this thread and can sense the disapproving vibes. This is why some blokes are ashamed to buy sexy lingerie for their partners (which to many women is the very funnest of gift genres to recieve). This kind of attitude, that women's places are to be regarded as impenetrable unspoiled girly sanctums by self-respecting males only leads to greater patronisation of women, and also plays right into the hands of misogynistic blokes who also find it "weird" to see a bloke going to a girl's place with his OH and would very much like to shame their peers out of it into instead being "a man's man" down the pub laughing about their partner's silly little shopping habits with them.

Sorry for rambling on, and I hope this doesn't read aggressively, because I can sort of see where some posters are coming from, instinctively. But I think it's ultimately divisive to go with these instincts here. Love the siteSmile

Hegsy · 31/12/2012 05:12

YABU my du opinion is very valuable to me and I 'twirl' for him cause then he can see all angles. Don't really get your problem?

Brugmansia · 31/12/2012 05:32

My DP likes shopping more than I do so we frequently go together. Overall I tend to spend more time traipsing after him in the men's department but it's enjoyable browsing together for me too and I like that he's interested and has opinions on women's clothes.

JessieMcJessie · 31/12/2012 06:10

I love shopping but I detest shopping with anyone else- male, female, friend, family. And they'd hate being with me- I go round in circles, revisit certain shops three times, don't stop for coffee and try on 8 things at a time. I treat it like dressing up- try on all sorts of weird stuff to see if it surprises me by suiting me - but of course most of it doesn't so I do not want anyone to be around and comment on that, thanks.

Now and again boyfriend asks me to help him choose something and I am clueless, even though I do have an opinion when I see what he has chosen - so am quite good at selecting an outfit from his wardrobe- I lose all sense of judgment in a men's shop. Now and again I might buy something and show it to someone else at home to decide whether or not to keep it but, other than that, I am pretty confident about my choices. And TBH even though I am nearly 40 I am still MORE likely to keep something my mother doesn't like.

TiggerWearsATriteSmile · 31/12/2012 06:40

I prefer to go on my own too.
DH however is incapable of buying his own clothes. He would come home with the same stuff he already has, just newer.

Also, if he happens to be in the shops with me he picks things for me that I would have worn clubbing 15 years ago! Glad he still sees me as the young one he met but eh, satin corsets aren't exactly good for the school run.

Fedupnagging · 31/12/2012 07:19

Clothes shopping with dh is not a pleasurable pastime IMO. After 10 minutes he's bored, after 20 minutes, grumpy and after 30 minutes is hungry and NEEDS to stop for food. It just puts me off buying anything at all. Come to think of it, maybe that's his planXmas Grin.

Yesterday, went clothes shopping with dh, ds2(16) and DS 3 (13). Christ it was painful!

Back to the original question, YANBU! Some men do tend to loiter/wander aimlessly/get in the way and it drives me nuts!

Eeeeeowwwfftz · 31/12/2012 07:33

If you pop into the menswear section you'll often find the number of women exceeds the number of men.

GambasAndCava · 31/12/2012 08:01

I only shop by myself, on the rare occasions that I actually go shopping. I don't want to have to keep a group of (even two) people together while I flit around randomly.

OP YANBU, I too get Confused about the men who are either hanging about getting in the way or glumly traipsing after their women, clearly there against their will - listen to conversations between men about weekend plans etc - they'll often say something about 'having' to go shopping with 'the wife'.

I think one of the problems is the habitual/hobby shoppers who treat the whole event as a 'day out' rather than a necessary evil, that in reality only needs doing on a handful of times each year.

So I would say to women 'stop making your DH/DP shop with you if he doesn't want to' and to everyone ' there are plenty of other nice places to go for a walk other than the shopping centre'

Technoviking · 31/12/2012 08:04

I would love to be banned from all women's shops. I'd much rather sit outside with bags.

latebreakfast · 31/12/2012 08:45

Let's ban women from computer shops while we're at it. We don't understand anything that complex and we just spend the whole time going on about "boys toys". Hmm

YABU btw.

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