Walking in on IL's talking about me

[poppywillows]

Just walked in on the IL's talking about me. They looked awkward and i didnt say anything, just walked off. MIL dashed over and said they were talking about one thing, SIL said they were discussing something else. If it was innocent convrsation then why the awkwardness when i walked in!! Im really upset as ive put up with this behaviour throughout my life from bullies and im so unconfrontational that im just quietly getting upset while still in their house. What can i do?

I'd give them something to talk about by acting mental. I'd get a spatula out of the kitchen, put a pair of knickers on my head and demand they call me Queen Kokoamono Fin

If they weren't talking about her, why are they now acting so guilty?

Every adult knows when they are being talked about - there is a kind of uncomfortable atmosphere, furtive looks, awkward silence...

If it was innocent, they would have said "oh poppy we were just talking about your fantastic cooking" or whatever.
The fact they went silent speaks volumes IMO.

Oh, and this comment from Binfullofgiblets:

Look hurt, hazy and distant, shy away from them as if they are going to strike you and crumple into your dh's arms at any given opportunity, peeking out at them like a frightened woodland animal.

Is bloody awesome

" In fact, my parents did the same to my husband and he was very hurt when he found out. "
Could you raise it with your husband in a "Remember when you were upset by my parents talking about you behind your back? Well, the same has now happened to me, and I'm upset. Please can we leave ASAP, I'm really not comfortable being here now and I want to go home?" sort of way?

Oh dear.

If a woman was posting about her dh bring distant and sulking she would told how passive aggressive and abusive that behaviour is.

"Oh, and this comment from Binfullofgiblets:

Look hurt, hazy and distant, shy away from them as if they are going to strike you and crumple into your dh's arms at any given opportunity, peeking out at them like a frightened woodland animal."

Binful has clearly cut and pasted this from Germaine Greer's blog, surely?

Frankly I think that anything like this that is left to fester will get worse. Be upfront, say to them 'I overheard you talking about me and things seem to have been awkward since then. I'd like to know what the problem is because then we can talk it over and maybe sort it out.'

It could be anything from a major deal, to irritation at you not putting things in the bin the right way.
Anyway IME things are always better out in the open, at least you will know where you stand and you can then make a decision on how to react.

It's not nice to be talked about covertly, because it makes you feel helpless, you can regain some control of the situation, and they may in future communicate with you a bit better.

Dear God there is some undeserved rudeness on this thread.

OP clearly senses the tone of the conversation or she wouldn't be posting like that. Paranoia doesn't always mean there's nothing to it.

It's obvious some of the posts on this thread are tongue in cheek and not meant to be taken literally. It's also clear that some people on this thread are being outright nasty for no reason.

Err it was a joke?

And everyone on the thread seems to be completely aware of this, including the op?

Do you have a birthday coming up?

Op, I think I understand how you feel and would like to offer this piece of advice.
If you don't ask them what they were talking about in a calm way with the understanding that you don't want there to be any bad feeling between you all (presumably you will be related for years to come?) then I think you are going to leave and feel unhappy for months and years ahead and this will have a profound affect on your marriage.
Obviously family stuff will come up and you will not be comfortable in their presence.
Seriously, I know its scary but you could bite the bullet now and actually improve your relationship as they would know you wouldn't stand for it.