to find BIL's comments odd and to feel slightly offended

[TogetherInParis]

Sister and BIL have a young daughter (almost 2)

Bil constantly makes references to dd's blue eyes. Saying that he's glad she inherited blue eyes, because blue eyes are so beautiful and dreamy.

And as a joke I put a ribbon on dd's head and bil made the comment that the ribbon only looked nice because dd had blonde hair.

There have been numerous comments like this.

Now I am dark haired with brown eyes, as is my sister dds mum.

I know he's not trying to be mean because he's not aiming the comments at me... but I do feel slightly offended whatever he makes those sort of comments because it makes me question whether I am a dull and plain looking girl.

Because I'm biased my niece could have purple eyes and green hair and I would still think she was the most beautiful little girl.

Why?

I think all of the above about DS1, I think everything looks gorgeous on him because of his gorgeous colouring

if DC2 has different colouring I'll think that makes them beautiful, and if it's the same as DC1 I'll think its the most superiour colouring in the world...

... cause I'm their mum and that's how mums and dads see their own children!

As long as you have waterproof mascara on, Worra, it's all good... otherwise you'll look a bit Alice Cooper-esque...

I do think it's weird to worry that your BIL thinks you are unattractive for any reason, particularly in comparison with your niece, and unreasonable to take offence at his comments. Would you rather he didn't say sweet things to his own child for fear that a grown woman would overhear and infer a slight? I think that would be very sad.

I'm the same jingle But

I'd say to my dd "you have beautiful blue eyes"

Whereas I wouldn't say "you are beautiful because you have blue eyes"

There is a difference.

You sound a bit bonkers tbh, op. My brain made an immediate connection with the arian thing, because of how you presented the info - bil prefers blonde, blue eyed dd and has made dark little me feel second rate. Sorry!

Oh, and to add, I find my own children incredibly, unbearably beautiful - it is natural to feel that way - and I do pick out little things about them that I love, so I suppose that is all your bil is doing. You shouldn't feel like he is putting you down though - that is definitely a bit odd.

Op - think you've over reacted a tad to an innocent question?

Racism was mentioned once and no-one suggested you were - just if that's what you were getting at!

Otherwise you sound jealous of the attention a 2 year old is getting. But that can't be right.... Can it?

Lying I resemble him and Ozzie's love child right now

... cause I'm their mum and that's how mums and dads see their own children!

Aye, my children are the most beautiful children ever...

Maybe he does prefer blond hair and blue eyes? It doesn't mean he loves your sister any less.

fucking hell OP you are wired to the moon!

He's a proud dad talking to his baby FFS.
If she had black hair and brown eyes, he'd probably have said exactly the same about the red ribbon.
What an odd post.

If your sis is dark, but her daughter is blonde with blue eyes, presumably your BIL is fair/blue eyed himself?

If he's genuinely always passing comment in this way, so much so that you've noticed it so much, it's more likely that he's a bit fixated on making a point of his daughter looking more like him/ his side of the family.

Which will be funny when her hair very likely gets darker/mousier as usually happens as toddlers get older, especially if one parent has darker colouring

This thread is nothing to do with the Arian look, Hitler or even the Holocaust.

Thanks for clearing that up for us. Now we know.

The fact you relate your BILs comments about his daughter to you is weird. When my DH says things about my DS, I don't think he's talking about, or to, me. He's talking to and about his kid.

He's just besotted with his dd, it wouldn't matter what colour hair or eyes she had he would still comment on them. As for feeling second rate because of your colouring spare a thought for my DH. Both of our dc have my blonde hair, blue eyes colouring and my dd at the age of 3 put his tooth brush in a separate pot because he didn't have blue eyes! He was mildly offended for about three seconds before he laughed about it.

The strangest OP I have read on MN in 6 years and that is saying something.

I have read some weird threads on here, but this takes the biscuit.

what the fuck is it about?

You were the one to bring up racism first Fakebook

• btw have you ever said anything nice whilst being on here or are you afraid that if you do then you might melt?

I can't keep away from this thread. We were at a Christmas get together today with a few people who hadnt seen DS for a while. They all commentated on how tall DS had become. Should I be offended because I am a tiny titch?

(No is the answer, op)

YABU OP. he would be saying the same things if his daughter was brown eyed with brunette hair.

I don't think finding blue eyes and attractive is Arian or racist.

It is unusual. Particularly in certain areas of the UK. Blondes with blue eyes are unusual in Wales for exam

Ahem. *exma

When do they schools go back?

THE