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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu.. in thinking .I am with a man who

51 replies

Doobydoo · 26/12/2012 16:01

Is normal...we are a team.We work together,we are happy.We have had ups and downs re money etc(sometimes quite poor) I have 2 sons he is a great role model and cannot understand these women with whingy posts re their other halves...leave em or carry on treating them like children,,,stop whinging

OP posts:
EverythingsDozy · 26/12/2012 16:02

Same, its nice isn't it? I mean, mine can be a PITA sometimes, but so can I. I'd say that's pretty normal Smile

SoleSource · 26/12/2012 16:03

Yabu he is having an affair with me.

LTB

ZebraInHiding · 26/12/2012 16:03

This is not going to end well.

Often it is not as simple as just walking out.

Original poster
Doobydoo · 26/12/2012 16:03

Agree!

OP posts:
scaevola · 26/12/2012 16:04

Bully for you that your marriage is OK, and you're so black and white about what you'll do with the next problem life throws at you.

YABU to think that everyone is, or should be, that robust all the time.

Original poster
Doobydoo · 26/12/2012 16:05

Not talking re really difficult things.Talking about being in bed until 2pm and not wrapping presents or taking kids/dogs out

OP posts:
pointysettia · 26/12/2012 16:06

I have a normal one too. I think they must be quite rare. We've had our ups and downs too, DH's job is very very stressful to the point where it tips him to the edge of depression at times, but it has made us stronger as a couple. I'm more supportive of him now, he is better at controlling his temper, it just gets better.

We've always both worked f/t so have always shared housework, and we've never argued about money even when we didn't have any.

Unfortunately men like ours don't make for juicy AIBU threads...

Original poster
Doobydoo · 26/12/2012 16:07

Also agree poinytsettia!

OP posts:
pointysettia · 26/12/2012 16:07

I do think we should all be aware that there but for the grace of [insert deity of choice or random fate here] go I...

EuroShagmore · 26/12/2012 16:09

I have one too. We are a partnership and share the work in and outside the home. We respect one another. We are not perfect and annoy one another sometimes, but that's just life's ups and downs.

BTW, I have been out with some twats and some nice but needy men in my time, but either through luck or judgement I chose not to settle down with them.

jessjessjess · 26/12/2012 16:14

Oh how silly of me. Why didn't I just leave my abusive ex or stop babying him?

What's the view like up there on your high horse?

jessjessjess · 26/12/2012 16:15

Ps I have a DH who does far more than me and have nothing to complain about it. I wouldn't dream of being so self righteous about it, I just feel lucky.

MsElleTow · 26/12/2012 16:15

Bully for you! My DH doesn't wrap presents, can be a right royal pain in the fucking arse at times, but I am quite willing to bet he does things that your's doesn't!

Even if he was the most perfect being on the earth, I would not start a thread telling other posters to "leave them or stop whinging!" Xmas Hmm

SirSugar · 26/12/2012 16:17

Lucky you OP. Spare a thought for those less fortunate than yourself Hmm

Nishky · 26/12/2012 16:18

Is there a bit of protesting too much on this thread?

Lots of talk of ups and downs hmmm strokes chin

wifeymerrick · 26/12/2012 16:22

Leaving an abusive partner is easy ???? How naive r u ? Mumsnet is the only place some people can vent shame on u....and for the record I am one of the lucky people who has a great DH !!

MissLToeishavingsantasbabyboo · 26/12/2012 16:30

DH and I are also a team, he and me can be very annoying but he is a brilliant father, works hard, shares the jobs in the house and best of all, is always on team dw when his mother starts Xmas Smile I think there are a few of us who are very lucky, but I think it is naive and wrong to say if you are not us then stop moaning and leave, it is not always that easy unfortunately I also know this first hand

fannychmeller · 26/12/2012 16:31

YABVVU

SantasHoHoHo · 26/12/2012 16:37

OP, there's nothing wrong with saying you have a good partner. It's good to hear something so positive for a change, something which isn't said enough on MUmsnet. The boards tend to feature more on the negatives because people want to vent.

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr · 26/12/2012 16:38

Good question Jess, why didnt you?

akaemmafrost · 26/12/2012 16:40

Your OP is clueless. HTH.

ledkr · 26/12/2012 16:41

Do t be too smug though op. I was with xh for 18yrs 16 of which were amazing. He was loving,caring,hardworking and a fantastic father. He adored us all and we had a lovely life. Then he was made redundant got friendly with some people he knew from school,started smoking weed and had an affair.
I'm remarried now a d we ate literally still madly in love and blissfully happy. Nothing phases us and we rarely argue.
I never count my chickens though.

SantasHoHoHo · 26/12/2012 16:43

Good post ledkr Live one day at a time and never take anyone or anything for granted.

pointysettia · 26/12/2012 16:43

I don't think the OP meant to come across as smug, and I do think that those of us who have happy relationships should probably mention them more. Not to be smug, but to help those MNers who are struggling realise that they are worth more than this. In all the time I've been on MN I've seen so many posts asking whether the OP was being BU for putting up with x, y and z only to have their eyes opened by people here that their situation was not acceptable - and for this feedback to give them the impetus to make changes and/or leave.

I do think there are too many people who just put up with not good enough because they've been ground down by years of crap behaviour/abuse/exploitation and sometimes MN is the way out.

akaemmafrost · 26/12/2012 16:45

Not smug no but the reference to "whingy" posts was nasty and ignorant IMO.