aibu.. in thinking .I am with a man who

[Doobydoo]

Is normal...we are a team.We work together,we are happy.We have had ups and downs re money etc(sometimes quite poor) I have 2 sons he is a great role model and cannot understand these women with whingy posts re their other halves...leave em or carry on treating them like children,,,stop whinging

I'm married to a man that is normal, being normal means that he is not perfect, he makes mistakes, sometimes he pisses me off, I complain about it here or to RL people, it can help to put things into perspective.

I've been a lone parent since birth to ?s so I must admit I sometimes wonder why these women stay or get with abusive partners. Ds's dad is a lunatic and wanted us to get together but I never did, I eventually cut him out of our lives completely, for ds's safely. I'm nothing special, so if I can do it alone from year dot, why do other women stay and settle for such shit? I genuinely don't get it.

Well lucky you eh? Not everyone is as lucky as you! To say its simple to just up and leave is not only unrealistic but also very thick tbh.

YABVU Doobydoo

There are lots of threads about lovely DP's, best parts of Christmas and lovely things DP have treated you to over Christmas if you'd like to chat about how lovely things are for you. They're nice threads with a great atmosphere.

However, some people are suffering DV, EA and just general twatishness from cocklodgers. Why not spare a thought about why they are on MN over Christmas talking about their problems. Maybe they need a bit of support and an impartial ear or two? Maybe you could offer some constructive advice if you have any, on the threads.

Threads about threads are very rude. HTH.

Was not talking about the serious stuff.Was talking about..he will not wrap presents/is still in bed stuff.HTH

You think people should leave their husbands because he doesn't wrap a christmas present or sleeps in?

Are you sure your marriage is happy or is your DH just terrified you will leave him if he does something even slightly annoying in an otherwise good relationship?

I think saying people are whinging is cruel.

Remind me not to come to you if I am upset about something.

I have a normal dh - we've gone through some really fucking rough times, now being one of them, and I have posted on MN for support and have had fabulous posters give me no end of (virtual) hand holding and brilliant advice.

Why don't you get a grip, stop the smugness and realise that not everyone is as damn fucking lucky as you?

I imagine all or at least the majority of the "whingy" women on here at one point felt the same way you do OP. Even the ones with abusive or cheating partners. They'd have thought they were a team,normal couple etc.

Not many women meet a bloke and think "he's 100% a wrong 'un...I'll marry that one".

A rather ill thought out post I think.

Well mine is far, far better than all of yours. [Sticksouttongue]

Seriously, my last relationship was abusive. I now have a gem of a man and appreciate him every day but I would never presume to tell anyone else what to do in their relationship. Until you find yourself in the situation you have no idea how you will react.

X-posts.

I could have written this a week ago. Don't be so smug op. You never know what's around the corner.

Mine is 'normal' and very good man but it took me 22yrs to finally fall for a normal and good man.

I don't mind saying how lovely your fella is (fingers crossed mine is lovely too). Thats all good.
It's the attitude that women are whingy and 'stop whinging' that is objectionable.

"these women with whingy posts re their other halves...leave em"

"Was not talking about the serious stuff."

So you would walk out on your DP over something trivial? Great team you've got going there.

Well relationships can seem black and white.... until life throws you a curve ball, and you find that actually.... they're not. I used to think like you, but after the year I've had I now feel qualified to tell you to a) grasp reality and b) fk off.

Thanks TheJoyfulChristmasJumper...you are correct.

Couldn't agree with you more OP.

I think the whingers should put up or shut up take control of the situation - that they ultimately are responsible for creating.

I too sometimes wonder if those lamenting their lot have considered the impact upon their children of watching Daddy sit back whilst Mummy does all the skivvying.

What kind of role models are they trying to uphold? It's hardly a good example of a respectful relationship is it?

I grew up in such a household and the imbalance struck me as incredibly unfair.

I swore that I would never be that skivvy and in all my cohabiting relationships I have insisted on equal division of responsibilities and it hasn't been in the slightest bit difficult to achieve.

I would NEVER allow myself to take on the skivvying role that I see so many women take on and then whinge about

I've just kicked my OH out after "babying" him for two years. I'm seven months pregnant and shit scared. I don't feel great and it isn't as straightforward as you say. Best not whinge though eh.

i like to think me and dp work together as a team and get on. we rarely argue ect. but i would never in a milliion years describe him as normal.

They do say pride comes before a fall

Just don't read the whinging women's threads, OP. Either that, or stop whinging about them from your insufferably smug bubble.

Are you very young, or just lacking in imagination, empathy and life experience?

.

Add message | Report | Message poster
ZaviThu 27-Dec-12 16:19:59

Couldn't agree with you more OP.

I think the whingers should put up or shut up take control of the situation - that they ultimately are responsible for creating.

Ooh look Mysogyny alert!