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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up with a Boxing Day birthday

43 replies

Yamyoid · 26/12/2012 10:10

I'm feeling grumpy cos I had to ask Dh to come and get dd so I could have my lie in (she's not sleeping well at the moment so he was on the couch). He knew she was awake because he was up with ds.

Then, I discover we've mis-communicated about plans for the day. In-laws are visiting (not happy but that's another story) and Dh is making a ham for lunch with nice pickles etc and we'd have a take away for tea I THOUGHT, after us both slaving in the kitchen all day yesterday, it's all I wanted to do. But no, the ham's for tea tonight. It's not even a proper evening meal on my birthday.

I've said we'll have takeaway tomorrow when it's just us, so that's fine but I just feel miserable that every year my birthday gets sidelined by Christmas. I can never have the day how I want it. So this is just a big sulky moan to get it off my chest. Dh did buy me a beautiful necklace so I'm very lucky really.

OP posts:
Itsafreefuckingcuntry · 26/12/2012 10:13

Mine is on Christmas Day and everyone forgets! YANBU!

Happy Birthday!

Here's some Flowers and a glass of Wine

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 26/12/2012 10:14

Do the same to him on his birthday.

Make him get up with the kids while you lie in
Invite a load of relatives round
make a pile of ham sandwiches for the food

see how he likes it

Happy Birthday BTW!

sooperdooper · 26/12/2012 10:23

Declare yourself a new 'unofficial' birthday in the summer :)

PersonalClown · 26/12/2012 10:27

Demand a decent meal!!
I plan to as my birthday is tomorrow and I'll be damned if I'm lifting a finger!

Happy birthday from another overlooked Christmas birthday!

LavenderBriggs · 26/12/2012 10:40

Morning birthday twin Xmas Smile

A Boxing Day birthday is never going to be like a birthday on pretty much any other day of the year, so managing expectations does have to be part of it.

I read your message to DH and he said "if you cant spoil your wife on her birthday, then you need to think about your priorities", which sounds a bit harsh, but it might be worth explaining how you feel and how you would prefer the day to go.

Happy Birthday Thanks

Original poster
Yamyoid · 26/12/2012 10:42

Ahh thanks all. Glad I'm nbu. Was feeling like a sulky teenager. Christmas birthdays are rubbish. Even my parents haven't managed to get a card to me.
Happy birthday to you all Thanks

OP posts:
LavenderBriggs · 26/12/2012 10:45

You're NBU at all. Have you told DH how you feel? And your parents?

(I'm in birthday jammies and intend to stay in them all day - I'm now going to supervise DH making my birthday cake).

pleasesleepallnight · 26/12/2012 10:54

Another with a Boxing Day birthday here! DH always makes an effort but no one else does. I get a few cards thrust at me when doing the christmas rounds but thats about it.

And as for a birthday celebration with friends? Every year I try to organise something (not on my birthday, earlier in December) and every year I get upset because it goes tits up Sad

AnnoyingOrange · 26/12/2012 10:55

Why don't you insist on having the takeaway tonight?

And next year, make sure you plan your day in advance and have it how you want it

LavenderBriggs · 26/12/2012 11:03

Happy Birthday pleasesleepallnight Thanks

MsVestibule · 26/12/2012 11:05

Happy birthday! Family and friends must know your birthday gets overlooked so should make a special effort today. Tell him you're getting a takeaway for yourself and sit eating it whilst making "mmm, yummy" noises. For added effect, point out that the ham looks rather dry Wink.

Original poster
Yamyoid · 26/12/2012 11:09

Can't have the takeaway tonight because the ham takes ages to cook.
I'm going to the pub with a few friends tomorrow night (cos more people likely to come out) so a takeaway then will be nice. Also, we'd probably end up paying for everyone if we did it tonight.

I think next year I will say, right, this is how we're gonna do it and put my foot down. I just wish I didn't have to do that and Dh had thought things through a bit more.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yamyoid · 26/12/2012 11:10

Sorry, i should add, as this is my first birthday at home for 6 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yamyoid · 26/12/2012 11:11

Hahaha ms vestibule. I should do that Grin

OP posts:
BlueberryHill · 26/12/2012 11:16

Currently making B'day cake for DS1, 6 tomorrow.

I think that people should make the effort to make it extra special so that it isn't just a Boxing Day but your birthday.

Happy Birthday

sashh · 26/12/2012 11:21

My mother has many bad points but her one good point (she might have 2 or even 3) is that if someone has a birthday near Christmas they get a seperate card and present. The present is always wrapped in Birthday paper.

She grew up with a sister who had a near birthday Xmas and was forever getting, "I've got you a joint birthday and Xmas present".

I also agree with getting a summer date, my grandfather swaped dates with my cousin so he could have a summer birthday.

Itsafreefuckingcuntry · 26/12/2012 11:23

I agree with a summer date too! Might try that!

pleasesleepallnight · 26/12/2012 11:26

Happy Birthday to you too Lavender Thanks Grin

And to you Yamyoid Thanks

Startail · 26/12/2012 11:46

YANBU
But I think you need to declare an official birthday clear of Xmas.

Days babysitting to go to the *sales and then either family tea or meal out on a convenient day.

*When the DDs were small DH used to have them at the end of his Xmas holiday and I'd have a long, recover from Xmas and visitors shop. Bliss!

Lara2 · 26/12/2012 13:08

DS1 is 20 today - he doesn't much like a Boxing Day birthday, but we have always had a 'half-birthday' for him on June 26th. He gets a celebration and a big present, which was better for his friends when he was younger. Now, of course, he dies his own thing with his friends, but choices of things to do are still a bit limited on Boxing Day.

Happy Birthday all you Christmas babies!!!

Lara2 · 26/12/2012 13:09

Does - not dies. On the mobile, sorry!

Original poster
Yamyoid · 26/12/2012 14:07

Hope the Christmas babies are enjoying their day. It's cheered me up hearing from others, so thanks.

I've found a benefit (apart from never having to work of course) Yule log and coffee with brandy cream for breakfast Xmas Smile

OP posts:
Sunnywithachanceofjinglebells · 26/12/2012 14:31

Happy birthday! :)

And thanks for reminding me it's my youngest cousin's birthday today too. I'll get in touch.

rhondajean · 26/12/2012 16:12

Aww it's not fair. My dd is 13 tomorrow and even with the days space inbetween it's difficult. We are going put with her friends for the day teh they are staying over so it the mad gallop now to get cleaned up from yesterday and bake the cake, and I feel like its hard to make it a special day with so much going on roundabout it all.

Hope you enjoy the ham anyway Xmas Grin

Piemistress · 26/12/2012 16:15

Happy Birthday! I feel for you, my DS has a Christmas day birthday (he is 3) and I am amazed how many people either forget or buy him a 'joint' present

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