AIBU to be sad...?

[Ginshizz]

This Christmas, DH and I wanted to be on our own with our 7mo DD. We've had a difficult year and we wanted to celebrate getting through it all and enjoy our little girl just on our own (we are seeing extended family tomorrow).

We said we would just get each other little presents - I got three little things for him and a card that has his favourite bird singing on it (one of the rspb ones where they actually sing )

He got me nothing, not even a card. I know it sounds stupid but I'm really sad. This is our first Christmas together as a little family and I've had nothing to unwrap.

I wasn't expecting anything massive but even some chocolates would have been nice.

Right, I'm off to open to the Christmas fizz and sob into it....

Wishing everyone much merriness and less dufus-ish DHs than mine!

oh dear im so sorry. so why didnt he get you anything, do you know?

No YABU. I think men are sometimes a bit hopeless at the whole present thing, and you should really try not to take it personally. Why not look at the online sales and choose something lovely for yourself, get DH to pay for it and then you can take the view that you got exactly what you wanted for Christmas, just a bit late. If you take out a months free trial of Amazon Prime you could have it on Friday and it would be something to look forward to. HTH x

He said he just didn't get round to it.

We have both been busy but I've been doing most of the childcare and I've been working but I found 10 mins to order stuff online and put some thought into it.

I think I just need to get over myself and drink heavily!

Was the difficult year down to financial reasons?

No sorry I meant YANBU!!!

Can I come and cry into the fizz too? DH swears he ordered my present in November but it isn't here.

Not getting around to it isn't really a good enough reason. YANBU. It's very mean of him.

He has a LOT of making up to do - the first Christmas after dd was born my dd bought me a very expensive piece of jewellery - ' you may be a mum but you are still my wife'

I can't understand these men who think its acceptable for their partners not to open anything!!

That's a shame. He should have bought you something. Tell him how upset you are and that you made an effort. YANBU

Thank you! Helps to know IANB too U!

MrsTerrys yes do come and sob in fizz - !

The difficult year wasn't to do with finances, it was to do with health and barking relatives. Love the idea of choosing something expensive and making him pay!

Fucking hell, what mean, pathetic excuses for human beings do you ladies live with? It really isn't too much to expect even just a box of chocs or a bunch of flowers. This sort of thing would be the final straw for me if I had any doubts about a relationship. He clearly is prioritising EVERYTHING else above you.

Gobbin, it does feel like that ...

Thankfully DD has been amazing today so I am not feeling too sorry for myself much !

YANBU. I would cry too.

If your finances aren't an issue, I believe he owes you a merry jaunt round the sales.

Enjoy Christmas with your LO! Special times x did you agree to not do presents? Or make a throw away comment about wanting nothing? Because the male species would take this, or even a hint of this as the get out a man needs and without meaning to hurt you.

Sarah, no we said we would get little presents, not no presents!

Methinks Mr Gin best dust off the old credit card ...

Pass your DD to him and get online shopping for your present in the sales. Buy yourself something s nice.

And this isn't a male thing. It's a thoughtless thing.

This is your first Christmas as a family? It's not looking good.
We are all busy with work or whatever and money is tight for us all but that's lame and really quite pathetic and not to mention thoughtless.
I really hope he's suitably ashamed.

YANBU. What an arse. Tell him you expect a non-little New Year present to make up for today's disappointment...

I have just had a bit of a bollocking session (after putting DD to bed). I have told him he needs to get me an awesome and very expensive New Years present.

He is ashamed but still thinks it's understandable given how busy he's been. Now I don't want to get all competitive but his average day finishes at 16:00 at the moment, I have been working until 23:00 / 23:30 recently and I managed to go online and order things.

I am FUMING. However, I do now have a glass of champagne in my hand so that's good. And DH has been put to work in the kitchen to clean up and cook dinner.

Thanks for all your support!

MrsDeVere ... Argh at the "you're not my mother" comment!!!! I need to lay out the ground rules for Mother's Day early don't I?

You should be fuming. Even a box of chocolates or a bath gift set would've done.

Online shopping is SO easy theses days, there is no excuse for not buying you something. He could have bought you something within 10 minutes online.

YADNBU. I've had major bust ups with OH about this before. Proper pistols-at-dawn stand offs. My stance is now crystal clear! It's not about the present per se or the value of it - it's the thought, the gesture, the taking time to demonstrate that you value someone. Difficult to articulate it without appearing like a spoilt, entitled diva but it was a big deal to me, so I ran the risk! Hope he sees the error of his ways.

He has no excuse at all. He's just been lazy and inconsiderate. A box of chocolates from a local shop if he was truly busy would have been better than nothing or ordering something online during his lunch break. My H works long hours and managed to make time to get a few presents. He also went without lunch for a while to have extra cash for presents. To not buy your partner anything for Christmas when you agreed to is out of order.