Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be upset for my mum- secret santa

34 replies

Alwaysasking · 24/12/2012 22:42

At dms work they were doing a secret santa, dm spent ages deciding what to buy as she is lovely and wanted it to be appreciated. She finally decided on a Cath Kidston phone holder. She was still concerned about it and was asking me if I thought it was ok and I said I thought it was a really nice present.

She came home this evening upset as the girl who received the gift apparently spent the whole shift (not knowing dm had got it for her) going on about how horrible it was and 'who is Cath Kidston' and how her phone wouldn't even go in it.

I feel so sad for dm! Some people may just pick up whatever for a work secret santa but she really took her time thinking about it! Very angry that her colleague didn't stop to think that perhaps it was dm who bought it and bit her tongue during shift grr.

OP posts:
foreverondiet · 24/12/2012 22:47

Think phone holder v odd choice for secret santa as might not be suitable for your phone - ie I have a very tough case on mine so couldn't use - doesn't sound like something someone who spent a lot of time thinking about it would buy.

HOWEVER the recipient was very rude.

Your mum should just get over it quickly and next time buy something with broader appeal - in the past I have bought jelly bellies and also cookbooks from book people - both have gone down well.

cornystollenslave · 24/12/2012 22:48

that's very rude of your mum's colleague

Crinkle77 · 24/12/2012 22:49

Your poor mum, that must have been really horrible for her. The girl is obviously a bit of a cow to go on about it as surely she must have realised that the person who had bought it for her would hear her. Her parents obviously did not teach her any manners.

Morloth · 24/12/2012 22:49

Phone holder a bit of a strange choice? You mean one for a mobile? Did she get the right size etc? Cath Kidson is also a bit of a love/hate thing. I loathe the stuff but some people seem to love it.

Having said that, there was no need for the other person to be rude, especially as it was very likely the person who had given the gift was around.

Original poster
Alwaysasking · 24/12/2012 22:54

Yes the phone holder I can appreciate wouldn't suit everyone, as colleague is a similar age to me and I love the shop dm thought she'd like it, just can't believe colleague went on about it when she didn't know who it was from Hmm

OP posts:
FestiveElement · 24/12/2012 22:58

As a secret Santa gift, your Mum did make a bit of a random choice, but then you expect a bit of that with secret Santa and the colleague was very rude to say anything.

Your mum may be over reacting a bit, especially if she's thinking that she put a lot of thought into a gift that is basically useless for the recipient, as she doesn't have the right phone to fit a CK phone holder.

I agree that CK is a bit of a love/hate thing.

Original poster
Alwaysasking · 24/12/2012 23:00

She's upset with herself for 'getting it wrong', not so much the colleague - that's what makes me more mad!

OP posts:
ThereGoesTheYear · 24/12/2012 23:01

How rude! Your poor DM. She made an effort to get something nice and some ill-mannered woman thinks it's ok to criticise the gift in public. Regardless who bought it, whether it fits her phone, that's rude.

Original poster
Alwaysasking · 24/12/2012 23:06

Completely agree, apparently she even said "maybe it's more expensive than it looks" Xmas Shock

OP posts:
curiousuze · 24/12/2012 23:08

I think that's a lovely present and I would have been really chuffed to get that - tell your mum I said so :)

FestiveElement · 24/12/2012 23:10

You could try looking on the bright side (if you look really hard) in that this girl clearly doesn't think it's your Mum that chose a useless gift. That must mean that she thinks your Mum has more sense/has better taste/is close enough to her to know what she would have liked/would have chosen a perfect gift. Xmas Smile

dollywashers · 24/12/2012 23:11

How rude! Your poor Mum. I'd be cross too.

electrica234 · 24/12/2012 23:12

This is why I hate secret santa- half the time you get a rubbish present becuase people can't be bothered, and the people who do put the effort in always seem to end up buying for the ungrateful ones with no manners Xmas Angry

I feel for your poor mum, YADNBU

issey6cats · 24/12/2012 23:12

we did secret santa at work i got a present for mine a nice pamper set and calvin klein mini perfume i got back NOTHING my secret santa didnt even bother to get into the spirit of the idea

Original poster
Alwaysasking · 24/12/2012 23:12

Thanks ladies! Mum is chuckling away at the comments now, I'm far more angry than her lol Xmas Grin

OP posts:
notsofrownieface · 24/12/2012 23:14

Ahh after choosing lovely Hotel Chocolat chocs for my secret Santa, I get a battered box of black magic. Tis the beauty of a Secret Santa.

defineme · 24/12/2012 23:19

Fwiw I'd prefer that to a cookbook any day, but that's not the point. It's incredibly rude to say you don't like it. How immature and self-obsessed can you be to be anything but grateful for any gift. I have had 3 presents of a foodstuff I absolutely hate this year from colleagues and acquaintances: I have been grateful for the thought and wouldn't dream of slagging them off to anyone.
I would only really expect dh to get me gifts that suit me and even he gets it wrong sometimes.

ravenAK · 24/12/2012 23:24

That's just appalling rude of recipient - she must realise the person who gave it to her is hearing her whingeing.

I'm not a fan of CK at all. I would have said 'oooh, lovely!' & taken it home for the re-gifting drawer. It's not rocket science!

Original poster
Alwaysasking · 24/12/2012 23:24

Mmm Hotel Chocolat... Dp worked there a couple of years ago, 50% discount lovely juvely! Yes you'd think she'd at least wait til she got home and slagged it off to family/friends!

OP posts:
CleopatrasAsp · 24/12/2012 23:28

You see, I'd hate jelly babies or a cookery book, so I guess buying for Secret Santa is a minefield. I wouldn't have bought a phone holder just because they have to be specific to the phone to fit and the chances of that are unlikely.

Your mother's colleague is rude and tactless.

TheCraicDealer · 24/12/2012 23:34

Did she really expect an amazing pressie from a work Secret Santa? Surely even if you hated a gift you'd be well aware that the giver could only be one of a very select group of people, and may hear you slagging off their present? Especially with such venom. Just do what any normal person does and take it back for a credit note or regift it.

Fakebook · 24/12/2012 23:37

Wow what a thick shit. The whole secret Santa process must have bypassed her brain. If she had an iota of a braincell she would have kept quiet and then gone and got it exchanged for some other pretentious piece of crap from there.

ChristmasNamechangeBridezilla · 24/12/2012 23:38

Oh no, that sounds horrible. My mum is very sensitive and nice too so reading this made me feel v protective towards yours too. Hopefully she hasn't taken it too much to heart just tell her again that it was a lovely present and how surprised you are that it wasn't appreciated. Something like that would go down a treat at my work btw. I got a willy pen once... Grin

Snazzyfeelingfestive · 24/12/2012 23:40

That is a particularly dim thing to do, as well as very rude. Tell your mum the lack of manners is far worse than getting the 'wrong' gift. Also be prepared to work with this person for some time as I doubt they'll get promotion Xmas Wink

orlakielylover · 24/12/2012 23:45

I'd have loved that. Love Cath Kidston