To wonder if others people dc are like this.

[ledkr]

I've posted about her before and it does help when others tell their tales.
Ok so she's no 5 mine and dh's only child.
To summarise she
Doesn't sleep well.
Won't wear a hat
Won't sit in the buggy
Won't wear reins
Won't hold hands
Won't sit in her booster or high chair to eat
Won't wear gloves
If I wrestle her into her buggy it takes two people. I am 5ft 7 weigh 12 stone and am very strong but I have to use full force stop her running away if she's not in buggy.
I find doing things with her very difficult.
I avoid town and supermarkets.
We don't go to restaurants.
Holidays are difficult just because she's such hard work.
She is 22 months.
We adore her. She is beautifull and funny and loving but so determined and forcefull I sometimes wonder if she is ok.
Dh says she's like all kids that age but also finds her hard work.
I don't remember the others being like this.
Does this all sound like normal behaviour just a spirited child?

you're worried, so have a word with your health visitor.

I don't have a broad frame of reference as only have one myself but remember 22 months being a difficult age. Does she go to childcare and if so what's she like there?

What do you mean "won't"? She's not even 2! Maybe you're backing down for a quiet life but there's no way that she can be physically stronger than you.

I suggest you don't use the word spirited. It's loaded & some would interpret as you making excuses (which obviously you aren't).

She sounds well within normal to me. Normal isn't always easy.

I think you're being reminded of an important lesson of parenthood: their defects aren't all your fault & their merits aren't all to your credit. She may be your 5th child but she's the only one of her.

Not all kids are like this, but some are. What tactics are you using to try and get her to co-operate? Some of this behaviour must cause you real worry.

What is your response when she 'won't' do these things?

Cos mine tried to not do a lot of those things and it didn't get them very far

It is totally normal for them to try it.

It's our job to show them that some things are just tough shit

I was thinking that yes but also today we were in town and it was so busy we made her go in her buggy and although it was hard she then enjoyed sitting watching the people go by. It made me wonder if we have just been too soft. I'm older and had a ten yr age gap and it was dh first and only child so we may have.also 3 big bros and one sis who adore her

oh. and separate your list into things that matter - eg strapped in for safety, and things that really aren't the end of the world and not worth battling over, eg wearing gloves

Give her some power, some right to make choices on some things but simply do those things that must be done.

There aint a 2 year old in the world that can't be bent into a pushchair by an adult

My ds was stronger then me. I remember him that age having his first hair cut...(nightmares) 3 of us plus the barber to hold him down.

Tie a hat on her head
Force strap her into the buggy/pushchair
Maybe try sleeptraining?
Tell her off and mean it? DD1 was a little git determined and still at 3 and a half needs to be reminded who is in charge, constantly. But I never give in very often and it i starting to pay off. She has been like it since about 20 months.

DD2 thankfully cba is a more relaxed character.

My DD has just turned 3 but at 22 months...
She DID sleep well.
Wouldn't wear a hat (she loves wearing one now)
Hated being in the buggy (loves it now, but I usually make her walk now)
Will still only hold mine or Daddy's hand, not other children's.
We had her sitting at her own table and chairs at this age, but she did still get up before finishing her food.
I avoided town at this age too.
Restaurants were stressful at this age for us too!
I think it can be a difficult age for some, I know I sometimes felt like everything I did was a struggle some days, but DD has improved a lot over the last 6 months and things are a lot easier.

My dd2 was very similar, and she's autistic. God, she was a challenging toddler! But I'm not suggesting that any of this means your daughter could be- more that 'spirited' behaviour also goes with that territory. It was the Christmas after she had just turned two that I realised something wasn't quite right, actually; she wouldn't open any presents and got upset by the tree, because she just wanted her usual routine. I got by with vats of . It does let up a bit. I'm sure it's unlikely that there's a major issue, but perhaps you should bring it up with the HV or GP after the New Year, just in case? Early intervention can be very useful.

Hec- you are joking about the pushchair! You have to bloody determined even at three times their size once they assume the starfish position .

Yes. Mine too, bof I remember the battles. The times you'd see me storming down the street with a toddler in a half fireman's lift half headlock

Oh, I could do it. I used all sorts of tricks. Blowing in their faces, tickling them. distracting them with chocolate held high above their heads. - you can't make yourself rigid and reach for a smartie

and good old fashioned brute force

All those things sound pretty normal to me. And 22 months is just getting the stage where she is wanting to be independent bt of course is a bit little, so she is trying with the things she can control.

You might want to to pick 1 thing at a time. I suggest the running off as its most dangerous so will incentivise you to follow through and therefore help her realise you will follow through in other situations too. Tell her buggy or walking and if she won't hold your hand or the buggy then it's the buggy. Be prepared for yelling, just put her in and walk fast round the park, not shops for your own peace and avoid staring.

Running off- tell her if she runs off then she is in the buggy. If she runs- then straight in til home. Just ignore the yelling.

Then pick The next thing, but be reasonable til her- let her make choices appropriate. She isn't alone in not wanting to wear a hat. Let her have a grown p chair and get her a booster you can take out and about and praise her behaviour in the grown up chair. Go to coffee shops and show her how to behave and work up to restaurants.

She is running your life a bit too much. Supermarkets - in the trolley and have a snack. After, as you know it's dull then she can go on the ride. Messes about, still trolley, but no ride. Go when it's quiet and expect yelling. Smile at passers by and dont let anyone interfere. Don't get cross, she is just growing up:)

I reakon I have spent at least 6months of my life with ds in a firemans lift :/

Why does it matter if she prefers not to wear hat and gloves? She will be the one whose cold, when she gets cold you can offer her the hat and gloves you have stashed in your bag, up to her if she uses them or not.

Choose your battles pick the ones that matter and the ones that don't.

Safety issues matter cold hands don't.

Oh, even now, aged 12, she will occasionally do what I call a Gandhi the bastard , and drop to the floor in an act of passive resistance if she doesn't want to go anywhere .

My DD (22 months) had a long & loud tantrum this morning because she wanted to wear Wellington boots instead of the boots I'd chosen. She is furious about sitting in a booster seat and wants to sit in a grown up seat. She will only eat with a fork - this is okay sometimes but messy when it comes to foods like cereal. She likes wearing hats but often insists on wearing one indoors, all day long. She becomes strangely attached to random items (such as a tin of beans or her brothers toothbrush) and wants to carry the item with her at all times and to have it in her cot at bedtime .

I think it's just a strange age! A lot of the time I leave her to it for an easier life but put my foot down with safety issues and ignore the tantrums. Re: reins - we couldn't get anywhere with those but DD chose a little life backpack that looks like a bumble bee and she LOVES it, she doesn't seem to notice that is has a lead attached...

My DD was a terrifying force of independence at 22 months, she's still a ball of 'fuck you, I'll do what I want' at 4 years old, but not so extreme. If you're worried, talk to your HV

Sounds normal. I would only wory about the safety and sleep ones though.

My DC's are hard work, I have to pick my battles.

Sounds exactly like my 18mo DS. I thought it was normal, but now I'm worried he's autistic...

My DD is now 3, but she hated the booster chair and sat on a big chair (or kneels) and has done for ages. I agree forget the hat and gloves - take them and wear yours and show might just decide to copy you eventually.

We used one of those backpack bags that have the reins/leash on them and DD would wear that as she liked being a ladybird. If she refused to wear it she went in the buggy.

She did sleep fine by then though I know lots that don't t that age!

If you are worried though, then talk to our health visitor. They see hundreds of children and will be able to reassure you or maybe give you tips.

Oh, don't worry on my account- I think a lot of this behaviour is entirely normal, and just toddler strong-willed stuff. If you notice other stuff that also concerns you though, like not hitting milestones, not developing speech, not pointing, being more interested in what they are doing than noticing that dad has got back from work or whatever, then flag it up. That's all.