To wonder if others people dc are like this.

[ledkr]

I've posted about her before and it does help when others tell their tales.
Ok so she's no 5 mine and dh's only child.
To summarise she
Doesn't sleep well.
Won't wear a hat
Won't sit in the buggy
Won't wear reins
Won't hold hands
Won't sit in her booster or high chair to eat
Won't wear gloves
If I wrestle her into her buggy it takes two people. I am 5ft 7 weigh 12 stone and am very strong but I have to use full force stop her running away if she's not in buggy.
I find doing things with her very difficult.
I avoid town and supermarkets.
We don't go to restaurants.
Holidays are difficult just because she's such hard work.
She is 22 months.
We adore her. She is beautifull and funny and loving but so determined and forcefull I sometimes wonder if she is ok.
Dh says she's like all kids that age but also finds her hard work.
I don't remember the others being like this.
Does this all sound like normal behaviour just a spirited child?

Perfectly normal, only add 'will not go in car seat unless she wants to' to the list and you have described my dd. Shows she independent :-).

Mines the same at 21 months. Don't think it helps that his brothers 18 & 10 spoil him and let him have his own way

Unfortunately I recognise these behaviours, and like BOFingSanta dd is ASD. Please speak to a health professional, you have older children, you know what is "normal" use this as leverage if you have to at the very least to rule anything out.

You have to experience it to know the strength of a determined small child. Dd is quicker than me, and when she refuses to get into her car seat there is no way to force her. It is simply a matter of waiting it out.

Sounds like my 22 month old

I have ditched the highchair and got her a little table and chair set.
I use raisins to get her in the pushchair or car seat.
With the reins I use the littlelife backpack, the only type she will have on. She won't hold hands.
Supermarkets, I let her put the stuff in the trolley.
Hats and gloves, forget it.

My dd, now almost 6, was exactly the same at that age. I could force her into her buggy after a five minute struggle and then would have to stop every couple of minutes to put her back in. She would wriggle out from the straps no matter how tight they were. It was the same with the car seat and I ended up with a pack of tic tacs for bribery otherwise the journey would take forever as I had to keep stopping to strap her back in.

She's still much the same now although we fight over different things. I think of it as a positive trait - she knows her own mind and won't let anyone push her around. She is perfectly normal and TBH many of her female friends are the same.

I like that spirit, makes me think "yeah, she'll be fine". DD had a struggle at school when she first started, but now she's settled a bit more, the teacher thinks she's marvellous, despite her impish ways.

I really think she's just spirited, girls often are

You could have described my dd at the same age. She's now at school and whilst by no means an angel is behaving well and respects her teacher. Her teacher is brilliant.
The sleeping got better after about two and half years, she now sleeps well.

I would agree with others, pick your battles.

My DD2 is the same age and does quite a few of the same things. She does sleep well but apart from that won't wear a hat or gloves (unless for comedy value in the house but not outside), 9 times out of 10 mealtimes are stressful because she won't stay put in the highchair and can wriggle out of the harness in the blink of an eye. We've tried a proper chair at the table, a booster seat, highchair at the table without the tray - all with no success. She's also just started squishing her food in her hands and rubbing it in her hair. Lovely.

Getting her in the pushchair isn't too bad but the past week or so she's been wriggling her arms free so potentially could fall flat on her face from it. Luckily the straps are detachable so I've been crossing them over her body so there's no chance of wriggling out. Supermarket ditto - will happily sit in the trolley if chain-fed ricecakes but has just started screaming a high-pitched screech for no apparent reason. I'm ignoring it though it can be heard across the shop.

DD1 is 6 and I can't for the life of me remember what she was like at the same age but she's 6 going on 16 so that has it's own challenges .

My DD is just 2 and also won't wear a hat and gloves, won't sit in the buggy unless bribed with snacks and will sometimes put up a fight against going in the highchair, sometimes she is ok. She didn't like her reins at first but soon realised that getting them on means she gets to walk instead of going in the buggy so she actually asks to get them on now. She is a good sleeper.

I think it's normal to be quite wilful at this age, I usually find that giving her a choice of things such as "do you want to wear your red coat or your purple coat today" results in less tantrums because she feels she has more control over her environment, but sometimes I have to resort to good old fashioned bribery to get her to behave, especially in public. I agree it's hard to get a tantrumming toddler into a buggy when they don't want to go, I find it difficult and DD is only a little petite thing.

Thanks all. It's so reassuring to read your stories and realise I'm not alone.
Not any clear signs of asd apart from a slight speech delay but she had a cleft palate repair so to be expected and her signing is amazing. Last few days she is speaking well too.
She is starting nursery in jan so will help her see others adhere to boundaries. Dh and I have shared childcare and he carries her about walks her to sleep and plays with her constantly. I told him he's created a monster and he agrees we need to toughen up.
A friend recently told me she loves seeing me tear around after dd cos my others were so good she was jealous.

Bribery and offering (limited) choices were used a lot here!
I'd also say not to fight over the gloves/hats thing - if she's cold she'll let you know.
I rarely used my buggy - so on the few occasions it came out DD was delighted! I've never had the battle to get her in.

DD won't wear a hat or gloves... but last week when it was really cold we were walking down the river bank and she stopped, went in the back of the buggy picked up her hat and put it on. So it's clear she will wear a hat when she's cold, but not when she's not - she's 18 month she's can control many things of her life, our job is to control the things she shouldn't be allowed to control as she's not aware enough of the dangers.

Cold/hungry etc. are all things she will know better than I possibly can so it's down to her, if she tells me she's all done she doesn't have to sit in the high chair, I'll offer a hat if she's cold she'll take it.

Stop fighting the things where she knows best, and then she might trust your judgement on the things you know best.

DD, 20 months...

Won't wear hats, gloves or any kind of hair clip.
Won't sit on potty
Hates having hair washed (screams)
Hates swings (loves slides)
Hates having teeth brushed.
Doesn't like most new things: can be very shy.

Sometimes holds hands nicely
Sometimes sits in high chair nicely
Sometimes wears reins.

Almost always sleeps well
Almost always eats well.
Loves older children.

Too breathless that sound familiar and dd loves older children too. Her sleep is often good but very probe to change. We have had night wakes, wakes for feeds when too old to do so, early waking 4.30 and most lately refusing to go down at night and vaulting the cot onto the floor. Helllppp. She died t walk she struts and when she walks off gives you a look that would rival a teenager

DD 23 months is quite good on all those things (most of the time) but my DH is at home with her full time and is the king of persistence and patience. He will give her v limited choices ie 'do you want to wear your red hat or your purple hat' etc. It's really difficult but you do just have to stay calm, keep an even tone of voice and absolutely stick to what you say especially on safety issues.

When she is refusing to get into the pushchair or having a sit down protest in the park, we use distraction, tickling her, singing a favourite song, pointing out dogs or birds and asking her what they say etc

When DD does throw a wobbly it is almost always when she is tired or hungry or both so we make sure we do shopping trips early in the morning when she is in good form, keep her topped up with snacks and drinks when we are out and stick to the same time for an afternoon nap and regular bedtime.

Was normal for my dd2
She's 2.8 now and much better

Dd is 2y3m and is almost exactly as you describe - I have to be much firmer with her than I ever was with ds at this age. She basically thinks the world is her oyster and revolves around her I just try to reign her in a bit - literally and metaphorically. Sometimes I quite admire her actually because she's very independent and confident. other times I wish sHed just bloody do as I ask

OP when I read your post I though ASD until I saw 22 months.

It's normal

I took DS out of the buggy at 18 months though, does she really need it? Could you not use reins or wrist straps? (DS has an SN buggy now but back when he was NT he would much rather walk)

Hat & gloves, don't worry if she's cold she'll put them on. At that age DS only wore them when he was turning blue.

Our 23 month old DD is similar, my friend referred to this stage as her having discovered her awesome and powerful will! Which I think describes it perfectly and helps me think more positively about it.
Wish I was as patient as Libertychicks DH, I do try though.

They are all hell between 8 m & 2 y in my opinion.

dozy if I don't put her in buggy she runs off it pulls on reins and then gets tired and wants to be carried. I can't carry her for long as it sets of my spd and don't want to really. Sometimes I just need to get on and do something. She's lively today should be interesting

My 10 year old was exactly as you describe, drove me batty at the time but she is just gorgeous now a days.