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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about gay/lesbian marriage?

43 replies

ariane5 · 22/12/2012 21:32

The other day I was with my sister and my dd2 (3).

Dd2 was playing a little game and talking about how she had been bridesmaid at my wedding a few months ago.I asked her "who do you think you will marry one day?" And she replied "millie" (we do not know anybody called millie).I was about to carry on chatting when my sister started getting very annoyed questioning dd about 'millie' and "why do you want to marry a girl", "only girls and boys get married,not two girls" and so on.She was quite irate.

Dd2 looked a bit puzzled and just said "I like ladies, they are so pretty"

Now, I think dd2 is just at an age where she likes all things girlie and pretty and prefers women for these reasons.I do not know if one day she will grow up to prefer men or women and tbh I have not really thought about it.All I know is that as long as she is in a loving relationship one day and is happy then I do not mind who it is with.

My sister was really not happy and said I should not condone "talk like that" and should tell dd while she is still young that it isn't right.I do not want to argue with dsis as she can be very difficult at times and it is usually advisable in order to keep the peace to stay on the right side of her but this time I felt I had to tell her I thought she was wrong.

Dh agreed with me, we wouldn't actively seek to bring up the subject with a 3 year old but seeing as my dsis has made it such a big issue I don't know what to do-dd still keeps saying she will marry a lady when playing games or makes her barbies 'marry' each other.dsis is very angry at me and keeps telling dd2 that she should want to "find her prince" one day and it is really starting to annoy me.I have told her (very strongly) to please leave the subject well alone.

AIBU?

OP posts:
AnyaKnowIt · 22/12/2012 21:34

Tell your sister to get a grip ffs

StNiChaolas · 22/12/2012 21:34

Your sister is daft and bigoted.

Sigh.

rubyslippers · 22/12/2012 21:34

bleurgh at finding her prince

My kids want to marry me/their dad/random boys/girls whatever

your sister seems to have had a massive over reaction and is very hostile

Shakey1500 · 22/12/2012 21:35

YANBU

My DS(5), according to him, is going to marry his best friend Ben Grin

It's innocent talk at this tender age.

gordyslovesheep · 22/12/2012 21:35

your sister is a knob - hth

hermioneweasley · 22/12/2012 21:36

If you are ok with this I would tell your sister to fuck off. Would you be wondering what to do if your sister was against mixed race relationships, or she told your DD she can only marry someone from the same race as her?

TeddyBare · 22/12/2012 21:36

YANBU and your sister would probably be happier in 1812 than 2012.

BiteyWeeFucker · 22/12/2012 21:37

Your sister is massively out of order.

You should send her an invite to Millie and Molly's wedding and watch her blow up Xmas Grin

CurrentBun · 22/12/2012 21:37

I'm surrounded by equally bigoted people, it's so draining at times.

hermioneweasley · 22/12/2012 21:37

Agree - the concept of "finding your prince" is the most alarming bit

ProtegeMoi · 22/12/2012 21:37

She's 3 your sister is being an idiot.

My brother used to insist he was going to marry our mum when younger and is a perfectly normal adult now.

She has no understanding of marriage and will learn all about it when older, besides it isn't true that she HAS to marrya man anyway so you would be giving her incorrect information for one.

2cats2many · 22/12/2012 21:37

Your sister should put a bloody sock in it. What business is it of hers what our daughter's sexual orientation ends up being?

And, anyway, if 3 year olds spoke the truth about these matters, we should be staging an intervention with my DD now to stop her from growing up to practise incest and beasteality (she has wanted to marry her dad, her brother and the dog in the past).

Original poster
ariane5 · 22/12/2012 21:38

Thankyou-I was quite shocked at her reaction dd2 is just playing.

But if she grows up and still feels the same it wouldn't bother me in the slightest as long as she is happy

OP posts:
hermioneweasley · 22/12/2012 21:38

LOL at 2cats

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/12/2012 21:38

Your dd is 3. Only three tiny years old FFS!

Your sister is more than just 'difficult'.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/12/2012 21:40

Oh, and your dd is absolutely right! Ladies are pretty and I like looking at them too!

Emmielu · 22/12/2012 21:40

dd wants to marry her best friend but is happy to marry her boyfriend Ryan cause Charlie doesn't love her anymore but she'd also like to marry me.

WinklyVersusTheZombies · 22/12/2012 21:41

Your sister is a bigoted nightmare who should take her bigotry back to the 19th century.

Anyway I remember DSis insisting she remembered pushing our daddy in a pram when he was a baby and saying she would marry him when she grew up (imagine the family tree!) so I wouldn't be buying a hat for your DD's nuptials with Molly just yet

5madthings · 22/12/2012 21:42

I would tell your sister to shut the fuck.up and stop being such a bigot.

Original poster
ariane5 · 22/12/2012 21:42

Dsis has already broached the mixed race subject as my ds1 has a soft spot for a lovely little girl in his class so yes in both respects she would be better suited to living in 1812.

If I told her to fuck off my life wouldn't be worth living she can be horrendous.

Perhaps time now to keep her poison away from my dcs after the latest outburst.

OP posts:
PiccadillyCervix · 22/12/2012 21:43

I always question the sexuality of people who think it is so easy to just become gay.

peaceandlovebunny · 22/12/2012 21:43

give your dd a hug, tell her you'll love her whoever she marries and that you'll love her partner because she does, then forget it.

MurderOfGoths · 22/12/2012 21:45

Wow, your sister is an idiot.

Your DD sounds sweet!

LilyVonSchtupp · 22/12/2012 21:47

YANBU. Your DSIS should not push her own ideas about sexuality down children's throats. (Isn't that what the anti-gay-marriage people are always saying?)

DS (4) is very insistent he will marry me.

5madthings · 22/12/2012 21:47

Oh she is racist as well.

Seriously cut her out of yours and your childrens life. They do not need to be exposed to such vile behaviour.

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